Old Oak Psychological Health Center

04/29/2025

03/01/2025

"Your suffering is never caused by the person you're blaming."

Blame is an easy escape, but it never leads to freedom and encases you in a prison of false perception. It’s tempting to believe that suffering is caused by someone else—that their words, their actions, or their choices are the reason for the pain. But what if the real source of suffering isn’t what they did, but the way it is perceived, processed, and held onto?

The mind has a way of creating narratives. It builds stories around pain, assigning fault and attaching emotions to past wounds. But the moment blame is given away, power is also given away. Blame keeps the focus outward, waiting for someone else to change, apologize, or make things right. But what if peace doesn’t depend on their actions? What if it has always been an internal choice?

No one can control how others act. People will make mistakes, they will be unfair, they will disappoint. But what happens next—the response, the emotions carried forward, the way the situation is interpreted—is entirely within personal control. And this is where true strength lies: in realizing that suffering isn’t created by the external, but by the attachment to what cannot be changed.

Personal accountability is not about excusing others—it’s about reclaiming power. It’s the understanding that while pain is real, suffering is optional. It’s the choice to see difficult situations as lessons instead of burdens, to shift perspective from victimhood to growth. The world will not always be kind, but inner peace is not determined by external forces.

Letting go of blame is not about denying hurt; it’s about refusing to let it define the future. When responsibility is taken for thoughts, reactions, and emotions, life no longer feels like something that happens *to* you, but something shaped *by* you.

Freedom begins the moment responsibility is claimed. The choice is always there: to remain bound by blame or to step forward in strength. In the end, the only true control is over oneself, and that is where real peace is found.

Forwarded As shared by a friend 🙏👆

02/26/2025

One day you will realize that happiness is not what your house looks like, but how you love the people within its walls.

Happiness is not finding success by a certain time, but finding something you love so much time itself seems to disappear.

Happiness is not thinking you have earned the world's approval, but waking up each day and feeling so at peace within your own skin, quietly anticipating the day ahead, unconcerned with how you are perceived.

Happiness is not having the best of everything, but the ability to make the best of anything.

Happiness is knowing you did what you could with what you were given.

Happiness is not something that comes to us when every problem is solved and all things are perfectly in place, but in the shining silver linings that remind us of the light of day is always there, if we slow down enough to notice.

02/25/2025

You may not always see it, but your presence in this world has left ripples far beyond what you know. Someone still smiles at a memory you created together, still feels comforted by the kindness you once showed, and still finds courage in the words you spoke.

Someone hums a song that reminds them of you, sees beauty in the world because you pointed it out, and carries your wisdom in their heart. Someone stands a little taller because you believed in them, walks a little lighter because you were there, and dreams bigger because you told them they could.
You matter more than you realize ..

✍️Writer’s Blossoms

02/06/2025

I’ve spent so much of my life being the strong one, the one who keeps it together when everything feels like it’s falling apart, the one who pushes through even when the weight feels unbearable.

I’m so used to wearing that strength like armor that I almost forget what it feels like to be soft, to let my guard down. That’s why being treated with kindness means more than words can express. It’s not about needing someone to save me, I can handle the hard stuff—but feeling safe enough to be vulnerable, even for a moment.

When you’re used to carrying so much, even the smallest acts of gentleness feel like a reminder that I don’t have to be strong all the time, that it’s okay to rest.
And sometimes, that’s exactly what I need ..

- Mj Blossoms 🌸 Writer’s Blossoms

Artist Credit: Belinda del Pesco

02/05/2025

,,And in the end, I think we don't need to do anything to be loved.
We spend our lives trying to look prettier, smarter.
but I realised two things.
Those who love us see us with their heart and attribute to us qualities beyond what we actually have.
And those who do not want to love us will never be satisfied with all our efforts.
Yes, I really think it's important to leave our imperfections alone.
They are precious to understand those who see us with their heart. '' ❤
- Frida Kahlo artist

12/07/2024

Kids aren’t your husband or life partner; they’ll have their own life and eventually their own partner.

As parents, it’s easy to feel as though we are the center of their world, but that’s only true for a small window of time.

Our role is to nurture them, guide them, and equip them to face the world, but never to hold them back from spreading their wings.

As they grow, we must remember that the foundation we lay for them is meant to give them strength, not chains.

They will form their own dreams, passions, and relationships that will shape the course of their lives. And while we are there to support and love them unconditionally, they are not ours to possess or control.

It's important to let them experience life on their terms, even if it means stepping back when we'd prefer to hold on tighter.

One of the hardest lessons in parenting is learning to let go. It’s an act of trust and faith — faith in the upbringing we’ve given them and trust in their ability to navigate their journey.

Our children aren’t meant to fill the voids in our lives or compensate for unmet expectations we may have.

They are unique souls on their own path, and our job is to walk alongside them for as long as they need us, not to walk in front of them or carry them.

We also must realize that, in a way, children reflect what we show them in our relationships.

If we pour everything into them at the expense of nurturing our partnership with our spouse, they may grow up with a distorted view of what love and commitment look like.

By maintaining a loving and supportive relationship with our life partner, we demonstrate the value of partnership and the balance between familial bonds and romantic ones.

The relationship we have with our children will evolve over time, shifting from one of dependency to one of mutual respect and admiration.

They will move forward, forging their own paths, and one day, they may become the parents in the same role we are in now. The cycle continues, and it's essential to accept that this natural progression is part of life's beauty.

It's vital to prepare ourselves emotionally for that day when their primary attachment will no longer be us, but someone else. It doesn’t mean we lose them; it just means their circle of love expands, and we need to make space for others in their lives.

Being able to celebrate their growth, their partnerships, and their future families is a testament to the love and trust we’ve nurtured over the years.

As parents, we may find ourselves adjusting to an emptier house or less frequent calls, but that doesn’t diminish our role in their lives. The bond between parent and child is timeless, and no amount of physical or emotional distance can break that.

What we must aim for is a relationship built on mutual respect, where they feel empowered to come to us when they need guidance, not out of obligation or guilt, but out of love and trust.

In our role as life partners, it’s essential to maintain the connection with our spouse. When the children leave, we are left with the person we chose to build a life with, and that relationship deserves as much care and attention as any other.

It's crucial not to lose sight of this bond during the busy years of parenting, for it's the love between partners that will carry us through all phases of life, even when the children are no longer in our care.

Parenthood is a journey of giving — we give our love, time, and effort to raise the next generation, but we must also take care of ourselves and our own relationship.

As the kids grow and go, we need to remain grounded in our connection with our spouse, ensuring that this relationship stands strong as the central pillar of our family.

The greatest gift we can give our children is the example of a healthy, loving relationship between their parents. This allows them to form their own strong bonds in life, knowing that love, independence, and mutual respect can coexist.

Our kids aren’t our life partners, but through our example, they learn what it means to build meaningful, lasting relationships of their own.

- Abhikesh