Sade Ferrier, LMFT

05/10/2025

You extend yourself far and wide to provide all of their needs. And you are glad to. This is the mom you want to be.
But you are still a child on this earth. More years within you, visible in the rivers and valleys on your skin, but a child even still.
What if starving and depriving yourself isn't the only option that you have? What if anxiety and control do not have to be your default?
The "how" is always the challenge. How to do this for them and for you simultaneously? Well, inner child....it seems we have new lessons to learn.

04/17/2025

If you have s3x and immediately break the connection by rolling over and falling asleep or rushing to the bathroom (but not returning to connect), you're missing out on a crucial opportunity to make bedroom time feel like it is more than scratching and itch.
Because with emotional intimacy, a bridge is needed. We need to know that the moment wasn't just about .... and if you can slow down enough to reconnect, you'll be able to communicate, even with non-verbals, that s3xual intimacy is another language to express overarching love and affection.
So slow down. Take a post-s3x shower together. Turn on the lamp and hold each other. Play with her hair...rub your hands across his chest.... This shows that affection wasn't just about getting to "the grand finale."
We call this afterglow.
Do you have an afterglow routine? Talk with your spouse about what this can look like for the two of you, both on a weeknight when time is pressed, as well as on a day where you have longer time to exhale into.
*xtherapist

04/11/2025

Sometimes you need support outside of the therapy room. In the next few weeks, consider (or a friend) would benefit from one of the following:
🧡Rest Routine: free online accountability workshop
🧡Betrayal & Trust Recovery Group (women only) 🙏🏾 meeting for 3 total sessions on April 25th, May 2nd and May 9th
Click the link in my bio to select the group of your choice and reserve your spot!

04/08/2025

Talking about s*x is vulnerable enough. Talking about s*x when there are challenges present? Even trickier.

Sometimes, information can help get the conversation started. Do you (or your spouse) struggle with ED?

There are a couple of different disorders that the average person may be thinking of when they say the phrase "erectile dysfunction." For the sake of being a bit more clinically precise, I'll give you the shorthand version of what you may be referring to (and for the more articulated version, we con...

04/08/2025

This April, join me in a focus on slowing down.
The romance and pleasure you desire depends on your ability to slow...down.
Choose one thing in your daily routine: driving, eating, getting dressed, showering.... choose the one thing and do it slowly. Without rush.
Pay attention to how that makes you feel...and if you notice your anxiety spike at the mere attempt at a slower pace, it seems therapy may be a good fit. Schedule a consult for virtual or in-person (Atlanta) sessions at the link in my bio.

04/05/2025

What if your wife isn't interested in s*x anymore?
Read more

No amount of back rubs, surprise flowers, or bubble baths are going to convince her to want s*x if this isn't an inherent desire for her.

03/26/2025

we move so fast. //
The couples I work with often state they are "busy" and "didn't have time" this week to connect. This is expected, of course. It's what we are working on.
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Because learning to slow down is a skill that isn't intuitive to many of us. And yet...it is a requirement for reaching the fullness that intimacy, gratitude and pleasure have to offer.
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You likely need this reminder, too.☀️ When you are ready to make the change of pace, DM me "change" and I'll send you the link to schedule our therapy consult
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01/16/2025

Tapping into your sensual voice can feel...vulnerable. You may not even think that you have this side to you.
In this workshop, we will put thoughts to pen and paper, giving you an opportunity to learn more about your own desire - and how to paint a picture of what you'd find most appealing in intimacy.
Please note, this workshop has limited capacity and will be for women only in order to provide a private and comfortable space for conversation.
🧡To resere your space, visit myintimacytherapist.com/date-nights (or click the link in my bio). I'll see you there!

11/14/2024

After the pain of discovering an affair, the injured spouse is deeply confused by their own response. "They betrayed my trust...and if this happened to someone else, I would tell them to leave. So why do I still love them? Why do I want to stay?"

Read more below

After an affair, remember to treat yourself with kindness and tenderness - much like you would for a child who is experiencing great pain.

11/03/2024

It is not ucommon for one spouse to be the "initiator" - for intimacy, for dates, for household chores, for communication as a whole - while the other benefits from this work without investing effort to maintain the relationship as well.
It becomes frustrating from the initiator because they are now burnt out from their repeated attempts to draw the other person in. In return, the other spouse can get frustrated because they have felt that their efforts aren't good enough or haven't been recognized, so they simply started going along with the flow. Resentment can build under the surface, making it harder for either spouse to want to be close.
And of course, there are situations where one spouse is truly disinterested in change or improvement.
If there is a history of "scar tissue" in the relationship - a mountain of past hurts that went unaddressed - I recommend investing in a therapist. It can be challenging to navigate so many different hurts at once, and a therapeutic environment can provide structure and balance.
Through this process we can begin to see what is under the surface:- Maybe one spouse truly doesn't want to work on the relationship and is checked out
- Maybe what you both value and want from the relationship is sooo different that you keep disappointing each other
- Maybe you have a parent-child or boss-employee dynamic that has developed, causing one person to feel controlling and the other to feel passive..and so on.
✅️If this is you, and you are curious about therapy, let's talk. Click the link in my bio to schedule a consultation call!

10/24/2024

Reasons we neglect our sleep hygiene: (a) we are in a stage of life with kids or work where our schedules feel out of our control; (b) we stay up late because the rest of our day is so full; (c) we have sleep disorders that make it challenging to fall or stay asleep; (d) we were never taught how or why we should value sleep.
I address sleep in s3x therapy with my clients, because most couples need guidance and accountability to help prioritize rest over busyness. This isn't a one-size-fits-all, and the reason for your sleep deprivation matters when considering a strategy for repair. And, in time, we find how s3x and sleep can cooperate with each other!
Consider this: what is one part of your nighttime routine that can change in order to give you 15 minutes of extra sleep?

10/08/2024

Ladies often feel guilty for resting - or will admit to not knowing how. This makes sense, right? You are likely occupying multiple roles in life: wife, employee, mom, friend, volunteer.... You may have been raised to see rest as laziness, and busyness as virtue. You may just have a life so packed with commitments that you don't even have time to consider an alternative.
Ladies. Allow yourself permission to rest.
"Permission to Rest" will take place on sunday, October 20th at in Smyrna, GA. Can you give yourself 90 minutes to step out of "caretaker" role and into a space of no responsibility?
Reserve Your space at the link in my bio. Let's rest 🧡