05/09/2022
So I was sitting here at my make-shift home office this morning and I was writing out my prayer list and stopped in the middle of a thought. The Holy Spirit stopped me and said- Are you praying for these things to benefit yourself in the now and in the long run or are you truly praying for that person to help them without selfish wants?
Lawd.. I was not ready for that. I pray everyday for other people and the situations that they are going through, for my family, and for needed change in my life. I was sitting here pouring my heart out for God to interfere and help with something that has been weighing on my heart, and BAM I got hit with that question. I wanted to be upset and then He spoke again- You cannot pray for selfish needs nor can you pray for change in a person if they do not have that conviction or true want in their own heart. What good comes from praying selfishly? Instead, pray for the change in your own heart so you may see people the way I see them and so you can help them the way I have helped you.
I may desperately want some things to change and be better to my standards, but ultimately I cannot change a person. That person is on their own path. No amount of yelling, crying, or complaining about a situation will change anything.. it may make you feel better for a moment but at the end of the day you have to remember it is you and that person against a problem and not the problem in the middle.
When two people come together they become one flesh bonded by God, if you stop and think about it for a moment if God brought you together NOTHING should be able to break those bonds. Praying for someone like your spouse should be a thankful moment in which you praise God for sending you a partner to battle all life’s challenges with. I thank God everyday for my husband, yes there are things we do that neither of us like, there is miscommunication sometimes, but I wouldn’t be where I am today without him.
I wouldn’t be half the person I am without giving my whole life to God and asking for help. He changed my heart and my soul for the better. I prayed for change and instead of changing everything around me, he changed me. Here I am once again feeling like I’m at a crossroads and he reminds me to look at myself for a change.
Like Michael Jackson said- “if you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a change..” ❤️