06/07/2025
How Do We Carry Our Pain?
A recent conversation with my son made me reflect on the many ways we approach emotional pain in our closest relationships. I shared my belief—rooted in years of practice and experience—that when we avoid difficult feelings, they don’t disappear. They settle into the body as tension, dis-ease, and eventually illness.
My son offered a different view: what if, in loving relationships, it’s sometimes better to let go of small hurts rather than rehash them? He suggested that some conversations about pain create more stress than healing—and that beginning fresh, grounded in love, might be healthier.
This exchange stayed with me. It reminded me how layered healing truly is. When do we speak about our wounds? When do we simply let them soften and move on?
This month, I’m exploring how we navigate both big “T” Trauma—the life-shattering events—and little “t” trauma—the daily hurts and tensions that quietly wear us down. How do we process both without letting them define us?
Big “T” and little “t”: Different Scales, Similar Impact
Big “T” Trauma refers to overwhelming experiences: abuse, violence, serious illness, war, or disaster. These events deeply imprint the nervous system and reshape how we feel safety, trust, and connection.
Little “t” trauma is more subtle but still powerful: emotional neglect, bullying, chronic stress, toxic workplaces, exclusion, or repeated invalidation. These experiences may seem small alone, but over time, they erode our resilience.
In either case, the tools for healing are often the same: breathwork, mindful movement, rest, nourishment, and turning toward the wounds with loving kindness.
Too often, people seek help only when their “house is on fire.” But the real healing comes when we clear the embers before they ignite—when daily practice becomes a way of caring for ourselves in advance, not just in crisis.
An Invitation to Action
If this resonates, I invite you to join me at Visionary Healing Center for breathwork and trauma-informed practices (https://l.bttr.to/xDUnh) designed to help you recover from trauma and/or address Trauma.
Or consider traveling deeper: we’re sharing an incredible opportunity to join fellow QiGong Instructor and Somatic Practitioner Mara Anthony for a retreat in Sorrento, Italy—a chance to step away, reset, and attend to yourself. Retreat offers a chance for an immersive experience of self-discovery and healing.
A Generational Shift in Naming Pain
Younger generations talk about their trauma more openly than previous ones. In my most recent read by Gabrielle Zevin, Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, complicated protagonist Sadie Green reflects:
“If you were one of my students, you’d be wearing your pain like a badge of honor. This generation doesn’t hide anything from anyone. My class talks a lot about their traumas... They, honest to God, think their traumas are the most interesting thing about them.”
There is something powerful here. Younger generations have:
* Destigmatized mental health struggles
* Expanded our emotional vocabulary
* Challenged the systemic harms older generations often endured silently
*Engage more often with whole wellness strategies
And yet, there is a shadow side. Pain (trauma) can become self-defining, and sometimes humor, playfulness, and satire get lost. Growth happens when we hold both: the honesty of our struggles and the joy of being alive.
How to Liberate Yourself from the Loop of Pain - A Gentle Practice of Integration
When we are grieving, anxious, or caught in physical pain, it’s easy to believe that our suffering is all there is.
The mind loops its painful stories, the body tightens in protection, and joy feels distant or even inappropriate.
In deep grief, especially, there may be a fear that feeling joy or peace means betraying what (or whom) we have lost.
But what if healing isn’t about forgetting or “moving on”—what if it’s about widening the lens?
Respected teachers Gabor Maté and Jon Kabat-Zinn teach us that while pain is real and valid, it is not the totality of who we are.
Kabat-Zinn invites us to touch into the whole catastrophe of life—grief and beauty, sadness and connection. Maté reminds us that grief is a reflection of love, not a debt we must endlessly pay. Love remains, even as suffering softens. Pain demands your attention, even while pleasure and comfort can also be felt.
A Simple Framework for Finding Your Way Through
1. Acknowledge the Pain with Care
Like tending to a wounded animal, the first step is gentle presence. You don’t force yourself to “get over it.” Silently to yourself:
"This hurts."
"This is hard."
"I am still here."
Somatic practices like breathwork, mindful walking, or simply placing a hand on your heart begin to soothe the nervous system. Just 6 to 10 minutes a day can shift your inner state—not by eliminating the pain, but by holding it with more spaciousness.
2. Widen the Field of Awareness
Kabat-Zinn teaches that even when pain is present, so too are other moments—the feel of your breath, the warmth of sunlight, the comfort of stillness.
Allow yourself to notice:
"What else is here?"
Joy doesn’t replace grief, but it can sit alongside it. This is not betrayal. This is integration.
3. Reframe the Meaning of Healing
As Maté reminds us, releasing grief doesn’t mean forgetting your love. It means learning to carry your loss in a way that makes room for your life to continue unfolding.
Ask yourself gently:
"How might I honor what I’ve lost while still embracing what remains?"
4. Seek Community That Reflects Your Wholeness
Sometimes our families or oldest friends, despite their love, reflect back our old wounds more than our healing. Seek out people, spaces, and communities who see your strength, growth, and evolving self.
Healing happens in relationship—with others who remind us we are more than our suffering.
That conversation with my son continues to echo in my heart. I know of no human who is not carrying a heavy burden of pain. There is no single answer to how we carry our pain—whether we speak it aloud or quietly release it, whether we sit with it for a while or gently place it down. What matters most is the awareness with which we meet our suffering, and the intention with which we care for it.
Some wounds need our voice; others soften in silence. Some pains ask us to seek help and community; others ease with quiet breath and presence. The path is personal, and it’s evolving.
So whether today invites you to speak your pain or simply breathe and begin again, may you meet yourself—and those you love—with gentleness, curiosity, and care.
And as always, I’d love to hear what’s coming up for you. What practices are helping you hold your self with care?
Let’s keep this conversation alive.
With care,
Lisa
Free Workshop for Women
Breathe Into Your Pelvic Bowl
Sunday July 13, 5:30-7pm
659 Auburn Ave., UNit 141
Please join us for a unique and intimate gathering exploring the profound relationship between breath and the pelvic bowl. Facilitated by Lisa Jones, Breathwork Coach, and Dr. Ashley Zimmerman, Doctor of Physical Therapy specializing in pelvic health and Doula care, this workshop is an organic conversation woven with embodied practices.
Together, we’ll explore:
✨ How breath influences pelvic awareness, release, and resilience
✨ How the pelvic bowl holds both physical and emotional memory
✨ Practical tools and meditations to reconnect, restore, and ground
✨ What’s possible when breathwork and pelvic therapy come together in healing
This is a nourishing opportunity for healers, seekers, and women curious about the body’s wisdom. Whether you’ve worked with breathwork or pelvic therapy—or are brand new—you’ll gain insights, practices, and inspiration for your own journey.
Lisa Jones is a Breathwork Facilitator, Chinese Medicine Practitioner, and founder of Visionary Healing Center in Atlanta. With decades of experience in integrative healing, Lisa is a trauma-informed somatic practitioner integrating Breath-Body-Mind, Reiki, and nervous system-based tools to support emotional resilience, embodied healing, and energetic alignment.
Dr. Ashley Zimmerman is a shame-free, body-love advocate. As a Doctor of Physical Therapy, sexuality counselor, doula and doula educator she has a unique way supporting not just the physical, but the emotional, spiritual, and mental health determinants that are vital not only to our pelvic health, but also our authentic desires. Learn more at drashleyzimmerman.com.
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