12/30/2025
When toxic families use the holidays to control you, guilt becomes a weapon—not a sign that you’re doing something wrong.
If you’re dreading the gathering, bracing for judgment, or being labeled the “problem” for having boundaries, you’re not imagining it: this is holiday manipulation, not family tradition.
Toxic relatives often use guilt, obligation, image management, and flying monkey dynamics to pressure you into showing up, staying quiet, and abandoning your own needs.
In this episode, we break down the control tactics families use during the holidays, why they intensify this time of year, and how to recognize when the environment is genuinely unsafe.
You’ll learn why “but it’s family” becomes an excuse for abuse, how to protect your peace, and how to navigate gatherings without losing yourself.
If you’re torn between protecting your mental health and avoiding backlash, this will give you clarity—and permission to choose yourself.
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IF YOU ARE A RISK of immediate danger or abuse, please get in touch with the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233.
DISCLAIMER: All content and information on this website is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute mental health advice. Although I strive to provide accurate general information, the information presented here is not a substitute for professional advice, and you should not rely solely on this information. Always consult a professional in the area for your particular needs and circumstances before making any professional, legal, medical, financial, or tax-related decisions.
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ABOUT DR. KERRY McAVOY
Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., is a psychologist, author, and expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding complex trauma. A survivor herself, her memoir “Love You More” offers an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.
