MotherLift

I had to hop on the bandwagon. Special shout-out to for their period un**es getting me through the Rael postpartum.

The Evolution of Friendship- 1-2 Min Read

As with all our relationships, our friendships are continually changing. Sometimes friendships don’t make it past a certain phase of life. THAT IS OK. I think we all have this assumption that our friendships are covenant commitments like marriage, but, that’s simply not the case… It’s ok if they drift apart.
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I had a friendship that faded away after a few years. When I saw her again a couple months later, I felt so guilty. She was gracious and said, “You were a good friend to me during that season of my life. I’m thankful for that relationship.”
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I’ve also had friendships that ended poorly and it can be so painful.
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You may hear a song, or eat a sandwich that transports you to a time where you felt close to that person, connected for that period of time. It can be painful to grieve, but it can be even more painful to continue tethering yourself to a season or person that is doesn’t fit anymore.
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For those friendships that you want to prioritize, remember to be intentional about staying connected. It can be very grounding to maintain friendships as your life changes, even if theirs doesn’t go at the same pace. Same life stage doesn’t equate to the depth of friendship you’ll have.
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For all others, let go knowing that your time was meaningful, and full of purpose. If it ended poorly, take time to seek closure for yourself. If it was amicable, look with fondness for the ways it helped you both grow.
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Pt. II “Friendship Breakups” coming soon!

Apologizing After Conflict - Morgan Myers - 2-3 Min Read

Apologizing is one of the hardest things to do, especially when you’ve got a strong sense of justice, right vs wrong, and pride. Here are 3 steps to getting into the headspace you need to apologize:

1️⃣ There is no winning in relational conflict... ⚔️ The whole goal is to connect. 🤝 Of course, there are times when one person is objectively right or wrong, but if we keep our focus on connecting rather than winning, we will nurture our relationships instead of compete within them. 🌱

2️⃣ The same humility you show others will inevitably reflect back to you. 🥂 This is not always the case, but I’m a firm believer that if you can humble yourself and admit your mistakes, you’re setting up your relationships to maintain that dynamic. ♻️ (How impactful is that for your kids to observe too!)

3️⃣ There is more to apologizing than, “I was wrong." 🙇‍♀️ Sometimes you might agree to disagree. If you’re wanting to preserve the relationship, consider empathizing with their emotional response to you. If you don’t feel like it’s a time you need to admit wrong, then take the time to observe the feelings they're feeling and validate them. If you can show empathy and compassion to them, it may soften their heart to show you the same. 🤟

I don't know if conflict ever gets easier, but repair definately does. Stay humble, stay open, and stay willing. 🙌

What are some words you've used when apologizing?

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Emotional Success - Choosing Friends Wisely - 1-2 Min Read

Yesterday my husband sent me a quote, “Success is having the ability to say No.” In business, there is no greater success than having enough work to be able to say “no” to the clients and people you don’t want to work with. It is a privilege gained to be able to draw boundaries. However, it’s much easier said than done. While drawing this line in my own business, I’m weighing my need to please others, my greed for more money, AND how much time I want to spend with my kids.

In my search for finding that perfect “successful” life combo, I thought it might be interesting to apply that quote to our emotional world. In a successful emotional world we wouldn’t have natural limits, like a pandemic and social distancing, and we would have an abundance of support waiting for us.

In that space of success, what type of people would you allow into your life? Which ones would you want to “work” with? Do they inspire you, support you, understand your natural rhythms? I realize this might sound navel gazing, as we should always strive to provide good friendship just as much as we receive it, but it’s okay to be intentional about what, er who you want in your life.

A way to see which friends you enjoy being around is to draw a pie chart. Who is in your life, and how much energy do they take up? Shade red for bad energy, and green for good, posi-friends. If you’re noticing someone draining energy from you, write them outside the circle for a little while. It’s okay to ask for a break from friends if they aren’t giving back as much emotional support as you’re putting in (or just slowly back away, you don’t have to make it official). It could be the emotional space you need to allow someone new in who can lift you up and be your person/peoples.

One person can't meet all your needs. "Success" can transcend careers, go into your relationships, and help you prioritize your needs. Coming out of a pandemic, you get to be especially choosy in who you want around you. Now’s the time to regraph your energy in friendships.

Did your pie chart change after observation or stay the same?

Apologizing After Conflict - Morgan Myers - 2-3 Min Read

Apologizing is one of the hardest things to do, especially when you’ve got a strong sense of justice, right vs wrong, and pride. Here are 3 steps to getting into the headspace you need to apologize:

1️⃣ There is no winning in relational conflict... ⚔️ The whole goal is to connect. 🤝 Of course, there are times when one person is objectively right or wrong, but if we keep our focus on connecting rather than winning, we will nurture our relationships instead of compete within them. 🌱

2️⃣ The same humility you show others will inevitably reflect back to you. 🥂 This is not always the case, but I’m a firm believer that if you can humble yourself and admit your mistakes, you’re setting up your relationships to maintain that dynamic. ♻️ (How impactful is that for your kids to observe too!)

3️⃣ There is more to apologizing than, “I was wrong." 🙇‍♀️ Sometimes you might agree to disagree. If you’re wanting to preserve the relationship, consider empathizing with their emotional response to you. If you don’t feel like it’s a time you need to admit wrong, then take the time to observe the feelings they're feeling and validate them. If you can show empathy and compassion to them, it may soften their heart to show you the same. 🤟

I don't know if conflict ever gets easier, but repair definately does. Stay humble, stay open, and stay willing. 🙌

What are some words you've used when apologizing?

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Connecting During Conflict- The Benefit of the Doubt - By Meg Schlabs - 1-2 Min Read - Full Blog Post in Profile!

I like the early part of relationships. I like to get in there and make a splash, really show off a little. New relationships have an art-of-the-possible kind of energy, and I like to hang out there a while before I go and do something uncaring. What new relationships have that the old relationships don't is an absence of conflict, hurt, and resentment. They are shiny new. And anything is possible. And it’s easy to be friends with a nice stranger, you know?

You know what’s easy in an old relationship? Having conflict. Like over anything. Emotionally charged conversations, one right after the other about things that don’t matter and things that do and sometimes over nothing at all - just cause life is tiresome. I always thought it was interesting that while living on this earth, we’re placed together in families made up of people with various personalities. We’re meant to share life and really lean into relationships but with people who don’t think or act like we do. What an interesting study humans are.

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To get the profound conclusion to Meg's words, click on over to the blog. I promise, it's worth it.

Distanced Doting: How to Spontaneously Love on The One Who Love You Most. 2-3 Min Read. By: Macy Morrow

👭 I'd be nothing without my gal pals. They are my sounding board, my voice of reason, and as an enneagram 7 (the enthusiast), they let me talk through countless ideas, and wish me well on endeavors that I [no-doubt] will lose interest in by the next time I see them. 🙌

🛫 Sometimes though, I can feel the miles between us. We struggle. I can see how hard they’re working, and how heavy their burdens can be. This is why I started squirreling away $5 bucks every paycheck to send them little spontaneous lifelines.
It’s easy really, I just transfer the money into my venmo on payday, and then when a rainy day appears, BAM, the funds are already there. 💸

👭👭 One’s a teacher, one’s a realtor, one stays at home mom, one is a badass small-biz owner, and another an actress. (To name a few 😜) Based on those descriptions alone, you can tell how many rainy days we've had this past year. ☔️

$5 may not seem like much, but like with everything, those drops in the bucket really do add up. 💵

🥂 If we lived in the same place, I’d 100% be the person who passes a giant potluck basket around like , but as it stands, these little lifelines help me feel connected, and like the hype girl I always dreamed of. 🏄‍♀️

How do you throw lifelines to friends who live far away? Drop a line in the comments.

Dating Your Kids - Meg Schlabs - 3/4 Minute Read

Last year I got an email saying my kids had the option of going back to in-person school, even though we were still in covid times. It took us all of 3 seconds to decide that this was the right choice for our family. By mid-October I was showing up for my first full week at work, in my office, alone. Hallelujah, freeeeedom! I even did a little jig. However, months later, I noticed myself looking at the clock every day at 3pm wishing I was the one picking them up from school instead of our nanny.

Covid has made us all question lots of things - and I guess for me, it helped me clarify the boundaries of my work & life. How many hours did I want to be a designer, and how many did I want to be plain ole mommy?

It was pretty clear that I missed my kids, but when there are three of them, it’s hard to feel like we’re really connecting. I use the “group like items” method when I’m around them. All of you, go play. All of you, stop it. All of you, eat these vitamins. Sometimes these feelings of missing my kids come and go, but I observed this one lingering until finally I couldn’t ignore it anymore. I needed a change and my goal was focused time with them - not group activities!

Now on Wednesdays from 3-5pm I have a date rotation with each kid. One trip to Barnes & Nobles for zombie books. One trip to Sephora for lipstick. Dating your kids, it turns out, is really fun. I found myself come alive when I got to bring them into my adult world. I was chatting to my 10 year old about the last good book I read and I told him the entire plot. (His response - does someone always die in your books?) When we have multiple kids at home, sometimes the only way to get this connection is to break up the party.

Even tho these lil humans are tiny, they have the same needs that we do. We all need moments in our life where we can say anything to someone … and they respond with empathy and love. To feel a connection with another person is one of the most basic needs humans have. And dating your kids will strengthen your connection with them and give them a sense of value.

How are you connecting with your kids?

Love,
Meg

Announcement!

Belly to Baby Workshop is coming back April 3 for a ONE DAY LIVE! (9:00AM-2:00PM)

LINK IN BIO - LINK IN BIO - LINK IN BIO

When we three sisters first began , we had one goal: to talk honestly about motherhood- from beginning to end. 👩‍🏫😜😉

The Belly-to-Baby Workshop is all the things you wish people would tell you. 🤫 We hold your hand as you walk from one phase of life to the next. 🛫🛬 We will help you enter your postpartum season with peace, clarity, and openness to this new little one in your life. 🤟

In the workshop we'll talk about:

🤝Coping with the Change in your Body
🤝Your Changing identity in Becoming a Mother
🤝Shifts in your Partner Relationships
🤝Communication Skills
🤝Delegating your responisibilities
🤝Preparing for the Event of Labor
🤝Preparing for the Emotions of New Motherhood

The Lowdown 👇:

🖥 It's VIRTUAL, Saturday, April the 3rd from 9:00AM-2:00PM

There are also PAYMENT PLANS which will guarentee you a seat at the table. 🥂

WE WANT TO WORK WITH YOU. We can record it, answer questions outside of your session, and work with you on payments, we just need you to reach out and take the hand that's being offered. 🤜🤛

Is there anything in particular holding you back? Drop your questions below or send us a DM! Knowledge is power, bbs!❓

If you're not pregnant, don't worry! We'll get back to regularly scheduled programming shortly, but until then, tag your soon to be mama friends below. 🙌🙌🙌

Know someone who could use the scholarship? Send us a DM. 📬📬

We love y'all, and we love your babies too. Thanks for joining hands with us on this "Ring Around the Rosie" of motherhood. 🎡

Sincerely,
Meg (the designer), Morgan (the therapist), and Macy (the doula)

"Idealizing Motherhood Roles" - Guest Writer: Leigh Anne - 3-4 Minute Read

Almost two years ago, I left my full-time job to be a stay-at-home parent.

During my time as a working mom, I spent so many nights crying as I fell asleep because I felt like I was missing my son's big moments. I obsessed over finding ways to make staying at home financially possible. Now, however, I know that I idealized being a stay-at-home parent.

Staying home home has been harder than I expected, and I feel guilty/ungrateful for feeling that way. I knew it would be an adjustment, but I didn't realize how stir-crazy and lonely I would feel. (Even before the world shut down due to the global pandemic.)

Most days we stay in pajamas, make huge messes, eat random things all day, and watch too many episodes of something with an annoying theme song.

Now that I’ve experienced both being a working full-time and staying home full-time, I realize that one isn’t better for me than the other. When I worked, I romanticized staying home with babies, but now that I’m home, I realize it isn’t a fix-all for my parenting stress.

I am grateful to have the choice to do either, but whichever road I choose, I know I have to fight to be present with my kids, make time for myself to feel like me, and maintain being a part of community.

To this end, I’ve started leaving the house alone for at least 4 hours on the weekend. Before this intentional change, there were weeks that I didn’t leave our house at all. Sometimes I just pick up coffee and sit in the car, or drive around town to see what’s changed.

Communally, I’ve been meeting with a group of friends every Tuesday night since May 2020. We sit in my front yard whether it’s 100 degrees, or 30. I also try for a “socially distanced” walk everyday with a friend. Again, even when the weather isn’t great. Lastly, I began waterpainting in my attic during nap time, something I did alot prior to having kids.

At the beginning, these changes made me feel so guilty, but as time has moved on, these changes improve my mood, and help me be a better mom. It's 100% worth it.

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Have you found your balance in your parenting role?