Kate A. Bares - Soul Integration Therapy

09/11/2023

"... that which will save me from the constant appearance of an unwanted experience of myself. "

08/30/2023

If you knew you were safe to be WHO YOU ARE, EVERYWHERE YOU ARE..would you want to?

If you feel a big YES! just reading that, join me for the upcoming LETTING GO™ Series starting Sept 11th and I'll show you HOW!

But I won't just show you - I'll walk thru every step with you, because I've lived it and I know it works!

Here's what I found thru 3 years of healing and recovering from a long term emotionally abusive relationship: The roots of my suffering - MY why - were my lingering unconscious Codependent traits. AND - the root of my Codependency was Shame.

Yes, SHAME! If we trace our Codependent patterns all the way back to their original source, I promise you - we'll find shame. Abandonment Trauma, Insecure Attachment, Trauma Bonding - all rooted in shame and all share Codependent qualities. Getting in and STAYING in toxic relationships = shame. Anger, control, caretaking, people pleasing = all shame. Self sabotaging, negative beliefs about ourselves = shame. Shadow Self = shame. Codependency shows up everywhere WE show up, because it's all about our relationship with ourSelf.

I've been in Codependency recovery for many years and it's good work, but THIS? This was not THAT! When I tapped into the shame that was blocking me from me, I dug in and dug deep. I did the work. I found support. I invested in mySelf (even though I didn't always feel worthy of it - there's that shame again!) I grieved. I turned toward mySelf rather than away. I practiced uncomfortable, "new" things to break up "old" patterns. I retrieved parts of mySelf I didn't know were missing. I dug some more, let more go, found more ME. The shift I felt was palpable. I could go on, but the bottom line is this: Heal the SHAME - heal the Codependency!

I remember thinking "This is it - this is all of us." And here we are! I've condensed those 3 years of my own healing work into a powerful 6 week process you can experience in a fraction of the time! It does NOT take years and years to heal and recover, regardless of where or how Codependency is showing up in your life. It does take work, but when that work is laser focused, guided, and intentional, you can get right to it and get on with living your best life!

So, if you said YES! to being WHO YOU ARE, EVERYWHERE YOU ARE, register here:https://thecenterforwellbeing.com/events/ right now and join us for the upcoming LETTING GO™ 6-week Series - Sept 12-Oct 24, 2023.

(If you've participated in the previous version of LETTING GO™, you can still Review thru the end of 2023!)

It's powerful. It's palpable. It's possible. It's HAPPENING!

I can't wait to see you!! So much love, Kate 🧡

08/30/2023

If you knew you were safe to:
*experience REAL emotions and feelings without judgment
*hold healthy, honoring boundaries for yourSelf
*let go and love, forgive and accept yourSelf and others fully
*be WHO YOU ARE, EVERYWHERE YOU ARE..would you want to?

Letting Go™ 6-week Series is BACK and Registration is OPEN! If you knew you were safe to: experience REAL emotions and feelings without judgment hold healthy, honoring boundaries for yourSelf let go and love, forgive and accept yourSelf and others fully be WHO YOU ARE, EVERYWHERE YOU ARE would...

08/10/2023

08/08/2023

So much THIS! Turn TOWARD the Trauma and listen. It will tell you what it needs to heal itself. Not sure how? Talk to me - I can help you tune in!

08/06/2023

Get ready...things are about to change!

When we start breaking away from the old codependent paradigms and behaviors that seemed so "normal" before, people around us start freaking out a little. Ok - a LOT! We aren't engaging in the drama or allowing them to use or misuse us anymore, but to them, we may appear selfish, detached, and indifferent. OUR healthy boundaries feel like slammed doors for those who're accustomed to controlling and manipulating. They may try to coax us back with guilt and shame - holding us hostage in their expectations of who we've been - or who they NEED us to be - to avoid their own Self evaluation and growth.

They don't get it - not yet - and we're not responsible for when and if they do. That's between them and God. WE are responsible for being TRUE to ourselves, living in integrity, honoring our own (and others') boundaries, and nurturing OUR relationship with the Divine.

When our communication with others becomes a reflection of honor and respect for ourSelf, it may take a while for them to realize it's also honoring and respectful of them, too! But we HAVE to draw the lines in order to stop the madness. This requires us to stand firmly in the Center of WHO WE ARE and allow some people to step away as they need to. We must be WILLING for the unhealthy relationships to fall away, trusting that the true, authentic connections will come close again, healthier and willing to create genuine, healthy relationships with us.

How do I know this? Because I've BEEN this! Every side of it. And then I woke up. When I realized how unhappy and unhealthy I was, I did what I had to do to heal, to let go, to find mySelf and recover my Self worth. I slowly shed the codependent "me" and stood naked in WHO I AM...shaky, insecure, and damned determined to not shrink back. I stood right there in the light until I remembered that I was already home - already WHOLE - and absolutely worthy of being here. And here I AM!

So get ready! Recovering yourSelf will shake your snow-globe, but it's a beautiful thing and you are SO very worth it! ~kab

07/30/2023

07/24/2023

Everybody's BRAVE looks different! We tend to compare and bully ourselves if we're not doing someone else's BRAVE. STOP THAT! My BRAVE thing today was honoring my boundary when it was pushed. Yesterday it was self care when my brain was screaming "WORK, WORK, WORK!" Every day ALL day offers possibilities for us to choose comfort or risk, familiar or unknown, fear or freedom - in great and small ways. Even if you only choose ONE BRAVE THING today - and the next and the next - you ARE being brave with your life. Let that sink in.

What does YOUR brave look like today?

07/21/2023

Why DO we care so much what people think?? Ugh. It's the worst!

The deeper I dive into ME the more free I am to be WHO I AM -EVERYWHERE I AM! It wasn't always that way for me - the struggle was real. That belief that said, "Don't do that. Don't BE that. People won't like you." was strong. And it was WRONG! People may NOT like me, and that's ok! But if I don't like MYSELF? Nope! That's NOT okay.

Do you ever struggle to be true to YOU - to be WHO YOU ARE, EVERYWHERE YOU ARE?

https://thecenterforwellbeing.com/events/
Release & Renew™ Deep-Dive Retreat - come back to yourSelf!
August 19-20, Austin, TX

"If you wouldn't trade your life with the person who is criticizing you, why on earth do you care what they think?" -Mel Robbins

07/14/2023

Be gentle with those shadowy, wounded parts you've kept hidden from the world. They need your compassion, not your shame. &renew

07/06/2023

DID YOU MISS IT??? 🐥👇

EARLY BIRD REGISTRATION EXTENDED! ​ EARLY REGISTRATION for our upcoming ​RELEASE & RENEW™ RETREAT​ August 19-20, 2023 is extended until July 15!! EARLY BIRD seats are limite...

06/27/2023

Give it a place to live that's not within your body!

06/13/2023

Are YOU Ready for Set YourSelf FREE?

Are you tired of feeling trapped in unhealthy relationship patterns? Do you slowly lose yourSelf over time - constantly seeking validation, approval, acceptance or love from others, at the expense of your own happiness? Or do you avoid relationships altogether?

If you answered YES to any of these, it's time to break free and start living the life you truly deserve!

Join our Letting Go™ 6-Week Series and learn how to heal from Codependency and the unconscious patterns that keep you stuck in unhealthy cycles. https://thecenterforwellbeing.com/events/
​
Codependency is not who you ARE - it's what you learned to DO to survive emotional pain. Let us help you unravel those old patterns and replace them with healthy habits that will lead you to more fulfilling relationships and a happier, more authentic life.

Don't wait any longer - sign up for the Letting Go™ 6-Week Series TODAY and start your journey towards healing and freedom!
https://thecenterforwellbeing.com/events/
Mondays, June 19-July 24th @ 6:30-8pm CST LIVE on Zoom.
(Video and workbook content sent weekly - LIVE sessions will be recorded for replay.)

I can't wait to see you!!

06/10/2023

My grandgirl has become fascinated with her shadow! On our walks, she'll ask me where it is and I'll say we have to wait until we get back in the light so we can see it. Is that not the perfect metaphor? We can't see our shadow UNTIL we're in the light! It's only a reflection of - US! And what if we had that same fascination with it rather than fear and judgment? SEEK your shadow and you'll find yourSelf!

06/07/2023

Letting Go™ 6-week Series is BACK and Registration is OPEN! Registration link in bio.

I stumbled on the concept of Codependency in the mid 90's when someone put the book Codependent No More (by Melody Beattie) in my hand. I wish I could remember who that person was, because they changed my life! From the first page, I couldn't put it down. It was ME - I was reading about MY life! I'd been on my teaching/guiding path for a few years and THIS - this was not THAT and it blew the doors wide open! I dug in and dug deep - practiced new things, grieved old things, grew, dug some more, let more go, found more ME. The shift I felt was palpable and I remember thinking "everybody needs to know about this!" And that was it - I commenced to creating my very first course: Letting Go™​

I knew even then that this was NOT just for people in relationship with addicts and alcholics - this was ALL of us. I had students in my circles who had never been in relationship to either, yet shared the same Codependent qualities as those who had. I've taught this work for almost 3 decades now and in the last 3 years, THIS is what has crystalized in my experience: Codependency is rooted in shame.

Yes, SHAME. If we trace our Codependent patterns all the way back to their original source, I promise you - we'll find shame. Shame disguises itself in a lot of ways - Abandonment Trauma, Insecure Attachment, Trauma Bonding - all rooted in shame and all share Codependent qualities. Getting in and STAYING in toxic relationships - shame. Anger, control, caretaking, people pleasing - all shame. Deficiency (negative) beliefs about ourselves - shame. Shadow Self - shame.

I could go on, but the bottom line is this: Heal the SHAME - heal the Codependency! The Letting Go™ work has never been about letting go of others, but rather, of our own unhealthy attachments and beliefs about ourselves - and it's taken on a whole new, deeper resonance than ever before: Letting Go™ of the shame that keeps us hiding WHO WE ARE. It's powerful. It's palpable. It's POSSIBLE! It's happening.

Registration link in bio. See you there!

06/07/2023

Letting Go™ 6-week Series is BACK and Registration is OPEN! Register here: https://thecenterforwellbeing.com/events/

I stumbled on the concept of Codependency in the mid 90's when someone put the book Codependent No More (by Melody Beattie) in my hand. I wish I could remember who that person was, because they changed my life! From the first page, I couldn't put it down. It was ME - I was reading about MY life! I'd been on my teaching/guiding path for a few years and THIS - this was not THAT and it blew the doors wide open! I dug in and dug deep - practiced new things, grieved old things, grew, dug some more, let more go, found more ME. The shift I felt was palpable and I remember thinking "everybody needs to know about this!" And that was it - I commenced to creating my very first course: Letting Go™​

I knew even then that this was NOT just for people in relationship with addicts and alcholics - this was ALL of us. I had students in my circles who had never been in relationship to either, yet shared the same Codependent qualities as those who had. I've taught this work for almost 3 decades now and in the last 3 years, THIS is what has crystalized in my experience: Codependency is rooted in shame.

Yes, SHAME. If we trace our Codependent patterns all the way back to their original source, I promise you - we'll find shame. Shame disguises itself in a lot of ways - Abandonment Trauma, Insecure Attachment, Trauma Bonding - all rooted in shame and all share Codependent qualities. Getting in and STAYING in toxic relationships - shame. Anger, control, caretaking, people pleasing - all shame. Deficiency (negative) beliefs about ourselves - shame. Shadow Self - shame.

I could go on, but the bottom line is this: Heal the SHAME - heal the Codependency! The Letting Go™ work has never been about letting go of others, but rather, of our own unhealthy attachments and beliefs about ourselves - and it's taken on a whole new, deeper resonance than ever before: Letting Go™ of the shame that keeps us hiding WHO WE ARE. It's powerful. It's palpable. It's POSSIBLE! It's happening.

REGISTER https://thecenterforwellbeing.com/events/ to join us for the upcoming Letting Go™ 6-week Series - Mondays, June 19-July 24th @ 6:30-8pm LIVE on Zoom.

Can't wait to see you!

05/23/2023

05/22/2023

First post-pandemic Release & Renew Retreat 2023 in the books! These amazing women brought it all - brave, beautiful, BAD-ASS - every one of them! ❤ &renew

05/19/2023

"If you wouldn't trade your life with the person who is criticizing you, why on earth do you care what they think?" -Mel Robbins

05/19/2023

05/01/2023

Today's THE DAY to get in on the Early Bird goodness!! And - there's only 2 seats left! Is one of them YOURS? Click below to grab it! 👇

04/27/2023

It’s easy to blame the “monkey mind” for our perpetual anxiety, but its far more productive to drop down into the body and clear the “monkey heart” that sources it. Patriarchal spiritualities prefer it if you avoid your feelings altogether and fixate on the mind. But it just doesn't work, because the originating traumas are held within the body.

04/25/2023

EARLY REGISTRATION GOODNESS THRU MAY 1, 2023! See details below 👇

In safe, sacred space you will dive deep into WHO YOU ARE as you move thru the Soul Integration™ experience...

* Identify Soul-sabotaging. beliefs that are blocking your Truth from shining through;
* Emerge from unforgiveness, judgment and shame;
* Explore and learn to create and honor healthy boundaries;
* Recognize and TRUST your own knowing; and
* Realign with your Truest, most Divine SELF as you renew Self- Worth and Self-Acceptance from deep within!
* and so much more!

TUITION: $797
EARLY BIRD: $697 (deposit by May 1)
EB Pay in FULL: $597 (pd in FULL by May 1)

REGISTER HERE: https://thecenterforwellbeing.com/events/

Note: This is a NON-RESIDENTIAL experience, however, we can accommodate some out-of-town participants on a first-come-first-serve basis, so register EARLY!

For more information, contact:
Kate A. Bares
[email protected]
512-249-5683
https://www.thecenterforwellbeing.com

04/24/2023

I'm often in awe of how every day life experiences create shifts in my consciousness, if I'm mindful and open to what they have to offer...

Our garbage disposal has been making an awful noise for about a week, although it's continued to work. I'd felt around in it, but didn't locate anything, so thought maybe it was just on it's last leg and would need to be replaced. I turned it on this morning and it screamed at me as usual, so I decided to investigate further - dig deeper - to see if I could find the problem. I turned the carriage a little at a time and felt around the edges - gross, I know - and I felt something that didn't feel like the other sides. Whatever it was wouldn't budge and I wasn't sure if it was foreign or part of the mechanicsm, so I got a screwdriver to try to pry it loose. I kept turning the carriage bit by bit as I tried to nudge the object with the screwdriver and it gave just a tiny bit. I kept trying but it was stuck like chuck. I was about to give up and just replace the whole thing when my MacGyver tenacity kicked in - I'd gotten it this far, I be damned if I quit! I kept at it and eventually wiggled it free - it was the metal foot to my steamer! I'd been looking for that. 😊 I tested the disposal and it hummed like a top. YES!

I know - it's just a garbage disposal. But it was witnessing mySelf in the process that was significant - and the moral of this long-ass story:

Sometimes, things get lodged within me that aren't part of my mechanicism. I know they're there because they make a lot of noise - fear, anger, judgment, sadness, grief, anxiety, stress, or the feeling that something's just not right - although I may continue to "function" just fine. If I'm just not willing to put the energy into digging it out, or maybe I've explored it and didn't find anything at first glance, I might choose to just live (miserably) with the pain, OR, maybe I'll start considering "replacing" whatever I perceive is causing all the noise, like a relationship or a job. Or maybe I'll try to muffle the noise with bigger, louder noise, like chaos or control, drama, even addictions, which obviously only work temporarily and create bigger, louder problems.
BUT, when I'm willing to "dig deeper" with new eyes and an open heart AND I put the effort, intention and determination into excavating the root cause, I always, ALWAYS find the culprit - some unconscious false belief or unhealed wound that was so lodged within me, it (and all the racket it made) felt like part of my being. If I've already "felt around" and the noise continues, I may need help with it - someone who can be like the screwdriver and help me pry it loose. It may be so lodged it feels hard-wired and immovable, but with guidance, tenacity and patience, I CAN eventually dig it out. Once it's gone and I've done the work to unravel all the other vices I was using to buffer the noise, life and I can begin to hum with balance again.

All this before 10am! 🙂 ❤

04/19/2023

"But when you are in this spiritual battle, it's not always that easy to see the truth."

Narcissists are playing out malignant and toxic projections. It's the disowned, unhealed parts of themselves that is eating them alive

The narcissist’s outer-seeking ego screams this: “I need you to comply. I need you to take my pain away. I need you to do exactly what my unrealistic, overentitled expectations require from you. I need you to obey. I need you to be subservient. I need you to go over and above the call of duty to confirm my significance.”

The awful put-downs, constant criticisms and heinous accusations never have anything to do with you. The narcissist is merely projecting their own damaged inner parts.

But when you are in this spiritual battle, it's not always that easy to see the truth.

If you are spending time with a parasitical vampire who is completely void of conscience, you will naturally start behaving in ways that you thought you never would.

You may have been dismayed at your own behaviour and at times questioned yourself, “Did I really do that?”

It’s normal to feel like maybe it’s you that has the problems because inevitably after hanging out with sick people you get very sick.

Mel 🦋

04/19/2023

SHINE ON!

Attempting to overcome or correct others' perceptions or judgment of us is energetically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting, not to mention, a waste of precious time and heartSoul space. What we so persistently fail to remember is that others' view of us is THEIR VIEW, based on THEIR life experience and perceptions of who THEY are, and therefore, who they expect us to be in response to them.

Don't get bogged down trying to prove their judgment wrong! Simply disengage. Take a deep breath, zip your lip, and step away. Stop trying to prove what's “right” and let them work it out. It's not yours to fix. Your job is to do what's right in your heart; to check in with your own integrity and check in with God. You can only be your own Self monitor. If you've chosen incorrectly, choose again! Then forgive yourSelf and allow them the space to choose for themselves, too.

I believe this to be true of ANY relationship, be it lover, friend, parent or child. It's not intended as an aloof withdrawal, but a true willingness to allow others the space to work through their own process. When there's unresolved or ongoing conflict, we may have to just "love them from here" and let go of our attachment to how the relationship manifests, if at all. Sometimes it heals, sometimes it doesn't, but waiting for it to change is like holding the door open until they decide to come in. YOU'RE stuck there too!I I say, prop the door open with a stick and go on with life! They'll come when they're ready...or not.

Regardless of what you believe in, believe in this: You are Soul and you are Human, all at once. You will never be one without the other as long as you are breathing in the body you inhabit. Honor both, embrace both, celebrate BOTH! Forgive yourSelf, as you are forgiven, Love and Honor your Self, as you are loved and honored. BE the Soul you are, as you are being human. Nothing you can do in this body can UN-do the Light you are!

Human's judge. We ALL judge. You can't outrun it, so just stand still and keep your Soul face to the light! That's where your Truth is. That's where God is.

You are loved, dear one. SHINE ON! ~kab

04/05/2023

Don't Stay STUCK in the SUCK!

Feeling stuck SUCKS. It sucks our energy, our joy and our very life force! Trying to figure it out doesn't help. Just "letting it go" doesn't work. Waiting for it to change doesn't happen - and they can even end up making it worse!

BUT THERE IS A WAY!! Click below to join me for my FREE upcoming FEAR to FREEDOM 30-DAY CHALLENGE and I'll show you how! 👇

04/04/2023

Seriously one of the best, most inspiring books I've ever read/ listened to. And his voice! 🥰

Check out this great listen on Audible.com. New York Times best seller Joining the ranks of The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, You Are a Badass, and F*ck Feelings is this refreshing, BS-free self-empowerment guide that offers an honest, no-nonsense, .....

04/04/2023

I'm grateful for the opportunities that stretch me past my comfort and into something even better! Those painful moments of insecurity and doubt that make me dig deeper - those are the most profound. ~kab

03/31/2023

Are you tired of working too hard and playing too small? Do your relationships fill you with JOY or just fill a void? Does your work empower or exhaust you? Do you need to make changes but don’t know where to start? You’re not alone! Many of us hold onto unhealthy habits, relationships, careers and emotions simply because we don’t know how to let go. The first step is the step toward REALITY! If you were to observe the object of your attachment without the filter of "What does this mean about me?" what would you see? Try it! Strip it down past your ego until you see it for what it REALLY is, bare bones. Do you still want it, need it, judge it or feel hurt by it? Keep going until it has no meaning about you - until you feel neutral, not resigned. When you can see REALITY with neutrality, you're free! ~kab

03/29/2023

Good things are coming - new content, new courses, new connections! If you're READY for a REBOOT, roll up your sleeves, click below to subscribe 👇and stay tuned - we're comin' for you!

03/28/2023

It's not letting go that's hard - it's holding on. What idea, belief, person, paradigm, outcome, illusion, fear, or desire are you holding onto that's causing you pain? ~kab

03/24/2023

💯🎯

Trauma bonds compel you to forego your boundaries and standards as they are eroded over time. Learn more at selfcarehaven.org ❤️ You become desensitized to cruelty and come to accept what was previously unacceptable in relationships with narcissists and psychopaths.

03/19/2023

I stumbled on the concept of Codependency in the mid 90's when someone put the book Codependent No More (by Melody Beattie) in my hand. I wish I could remember who that person was, because they changed my life! From the first page, I couldn't put it down. It was ME - I was reading about MY life! I'd been on my teaching/guiding path for a few years and THIS - this was not THAT. Not anything I'd come in contact with before and it blew the doors open. I dug in and dug deep - practiced new things, grieved old things, grew, dug some more, let more go, found more ME. The shift I felt was palpable and I remember thinking "everybody needs to know about this!" And that was it - I commenced to creating my very first course: LETTING GO.

I knew even then that this was NOT only for people in relationship to addicts and alcholics - this was ALL of us. I had students in my circles who had never been in relationship to either, yet shared the same Codependent qualities as those who had. I've taught this work for almost 3 decades now and in the last 3 years, THIS is what has crystalized in my experience:
Codependency is rooted in shame. Yes, SHAME. If we trace our Codependent patterns all the way back to their original source, I promise you - we'll find shame. Shame disguises itself in a lot of ways - Abandonment Trauma, Insecure Attachment, Trauma Bonding - all rooted in shame and all share Codependent qualities. Getting in and STAYING in toxic relationships - shame. Anger, control, caretaking, people pleasing - all shame. Deficiency (negative) beliefs about ourselves - shame. Shadow Self - shame. I could go on, but the bottom line is: Heal the SHAME - heal the Codependency!

The LETTING GO work has never been about letting go of others, but rather, of our own unhealthy attachments and beliefs and it's taken on a whole new, deeper resonance than ever before: LETTING GO of the shame that keeps us hiding WHO WE ARE. It's powerful. It's palpable. It's POSSIBLE! It's happening.

LETTING GO is coming back! (just like those bell bottoms, only better) Course dates coming soon! ❤ ~kab