My Next Step: A Counseling Service

10/17/2022

"Make yourself into someone who handles hard well...because if you have a meaningful pursuit in life it will never be easy..."

09/20/2022

Just a quick reminder...
Therapy is for ANYONE and EVERYONE. You don't have to be "falling completely apart" to go see a counselor. In fact, wisdom might suggest seeking out a counselor before the "falling completely apart" happens. Let's continue to talk about our mental health in open and honest ways - that's how stigmas are broken.

09/13/2022

Emotionally intelligent people understand the truth alone will not change others. Change happens when truth and feedback are wrapped in a real, authentic, trusting relationship.
We earn the right through relationship to "speak hard truths" to others. If you're not willing to put the work in on the relationship end you lose the right to say to them, "I'm just being honest..."

08/08/2022

Having difficult conversations with people we love and care about is vital to our relational health. Hard? Yes. Awkward? Absolutely. Sometimes completely terrifying? You bet. But is it possible the hard, awkward, terrifying conversation you are avoiding is the very thing that will foster authenticity, trust, and positive transformation?

07/18/2022

As of this past Saturday, July 16th, you can now dial "988" to reach the National Su***de Prevention Helpline.
The 988 Su***de & Crisis Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in the United States.
Dial 988 - share it with your friends and family - share it with strangers - it will save lives.
https://988lifeline.org/

06/20/2022

It was a game changer for me when I realized that I could be feeling two things at the same time - two COMPLETELY OPPOSITE things. It doesn't mean something's wrong with me. It means I am learning myself and what I need to be mentally healthy in different situations. Allowing myself this space to feel multiple things at once automatically gave permission for the people around me to do the same. Conversation, true relational growth, and understanding happen in these spaces of realization and authenticity.

05/23/2022

Monday's Mental Health Tip:
We have all heard of "fight or flight" but did you know you can also respond to high stress situations with a "freeze or a fawn?" Taking some time to evaluate how you respond to stress can be helpful when breaking down patterns of behavior that keep us stuck.
How do you deal during conflict (even low level conflict) when talking with your spouse? Coworkers? Friends and family? Depending on the situation, I have utilized all of these responses to some extent and admittedly, there is a time and place for all of them. But if my general default EVERY TIME I feel conflict (even good conflict) is to flee the room, or pick a fight, or apologize for things that are not my fault, or to shut down completely then I have some work to do.
Check in with yourself and reflect on which of these responses you turn to the most. Simply being aware of this trait in yourself gives us the first tool needed to start responding differently and thus making productive changes in ourselves and in our relationships.

05/16/2022

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. If you have a young person in your life, as a parent, family member, friend...learn how to speak with them about mental health. Let's start normalizing conversations around this topic for them.
They need it and so do we.

Find parent and youth mental health resources for parents looking for guidance on how to help protect their child's mental health.

05/09/2022

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. It is also a season of big transitions for many people. End of school and classes, graduations, new jobs, new dreams, new starts, big moves...All exciting but also scary, stressful, and unpredictable. This is just your friendly reminder (for myself as well) - check your engine - are you stressed, frantic, and running on empty? That's okay - find a taco buddy and take some time to fall apart together. Love on each other, have a good laugh, a good cry, and a good taco - then put those pieces back together and go again. Rest and repeat as needed. We all need to find our taco buddy...

Sometimes, you just need to smile. Smile away. You are - wherever you are at at this moment - loved. And maybe today, it's tacos for lunch.

05/02/2022

Monday's Mental Health Tip: Yes, young people need this. So do middle aged people. So do old people. So do all the people in between. Humans need humans.
I need these people in my life AND I need to be this for other people. Find your safe space and your inner circle. Here is where freedom is found to try and fail and try again.
And as with all other things...this is how we grow. Find people who will tend to your growth - physically, mentally, and emotionally.

04/04/2022

I have come to believe winning the battles of life happens in the unseen spaces inside ourselves. In our minds and in our hearts. Our thoughts are invaluable; what we think about ourselves, other people, and the environment around us has the power both to create and to destroy. That means I must be intentional about cleaning out these spaces in myself. I must commit to cleaning up my head and my heart...and keeping them clean.
But just like any other room in the house this is more than a one time job. We live here. Dirt gets tracked in, dishes are reused, and items get broken in the day to day. Commit to the upkeep of your internal home. We live here in our hearts and in our minds. It's messy and ongoing and a lot of trial and error. But let's keep after it - one dirty sock at a time.

03/21/2022

Head and Heart Congruence - The hurt in your heart needs to be heard and validated before what you feel catches up with the logic in your head. I get frustrated with myself for not feeling what I should be feeling immediately and I start giving myself instructions.
I call this "should-ing on yourself." It comes in the form of statements like, "You're an adult...you should be over this by now. This is not that big of a deal...you shouldn't feel grief. Other people have it way worse than what you are dealing with...you should be thankful. They didn't mean what they said...you shouldn't feel upset and angry."
While overall these statements might be true, we cannot move into a different way of thinking until the feeling has been acknowledged and worked through. That takes time. But healing is found there.

02/28/2022

It is a sign of emotional maturity to set boundaries for yourself and accept them from those around you. Boundary setting does not have to be a negative. Let's reframe. It is a way to love well - both yourself and others.

Love this way of seeing boundaries!

Image by

02/07/2022

Some days I have to say out loud, "Shame...I will not join you in putting my own self down today. I would not speak to someone else this way - I will not speak to myself this way."
At times we are our own worst bullies. I am choosing not to bully myself anymore. Some days I win and some days I loose...but just the awareness that shame is a liar that I don't have to join in with is enough to keep making small steps forward.

01/24/2022

Some food for thought as we tackle the week...Just because we are "functioning" does not mean that our mental health doesn't need a little care. Check on yourselves and your loved ones this winter. I am coming to believe more and more that if our "functioning" comes in conflict with our mental health on a consistent, daily basis then we need to re-evaluate. "Mental Health Over Productivity" is my heart's cry in 2022. Who's with me?

01/18/2022

So, it turns out I've been doing self-care wrong. I always went about self-care with the intention of patching myself up to get back out into the race and continue to work and produce for others. But I am slowly beginning to realize the point of self-care isn't to cover our wounds with band-aids and send ourselves back out into the fray. No - the point of self-care is to actually...CARE...FOR...SELF. And this means taking time for you because you are human and because you are worth it. Not because you will be more productive in other outside areas of your life - that's just the icing on the cake.

12/20/2021

It was a game changer for me when I realized that it was OKAY to feel two things at once. It doesn't make me crazy or weird...it makes me human.

It is possible to feel both joy and grief at the same time. It is possible to be both excited for a Holiday Season to celebrate with family and to dread a Holiday Season because you are grieving the loss of a special loved one.

Grief and stress around this season is okay...allow yourself to feel what you feel - talk about your missing loved ones or not - stay busy or don't - follow traditions or do something new. But no matter what give yourself some grace to feel all the feelings - and give others space to do the same. There is no wrong way to grieve.

12/13/2021

Overcoming past mistakes or hurts can be daunting, exhausting, and tiresome. Sometimes the bravest thing we can do is keep going especially when we don't feel we are making progress like we want. I've become convinced the majority of the fight is just the stubborn audacity to try again...go again...get up again. We can make beautiful things out of broken pasts. Keep reaching up - we got this.