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Dr. Varda Hakobyan

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United States
Beverly Hills, CA
Dr. Varda Hakobyan

Hi, I’m a Licensed Clinical Psychologist offering Online sessions across California and In-Office sessions in Los Angeles.

I specialize in anxiety, depression, bipolar, trauma, and more. Using an eclectic approach, I tailor therapy to your unique needs. I offer a safe, non-judgmental space for a trustful therapeutic relationship. With more than 10 years of experience, I integrate Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Psychodynamic Modality, and Depth Psychology for a personalized approach. Let me guide you in understanding and transforming your mind and behavior for emotional healing and growth. Contact me to start your journey today!

12/24/2025

A Jungian Reflection on the New Year

From a Jungian perspective, celebrating the New Year is less about time and more about ritual.

Rituals mark thresholds in the psyche. They help consciousness pause, look back, and re-orient. The New Year functions as a symbolic reset—a moment where the ego loosens its grip and the psyche is given permission to reimagine itself.

Ending one year and beginning another mirrors a deep psychological pattern: death and renewal. What no longer serves is acknowledged, even if not fully released. What is emerging is not yet clear, but it is felt. Jung understood this as the psyche’s natural movement toward balance and wholeness.

Celebration, reflection, resolutions—these are not superficial customs. They are symbolic acts that say: something has ended, and something else is trying to be born.

The New Year invites us to step briefly outside habit and identity, to stand at the edge between the known and the unknown. In that liminal space, meaning can reorganize.

From this view, the New Year is not about becoming someone new—but about becoming more conscious of who we already are becoming.

And that, Jung would say, is the quiet work of individuation.

11/15/2025

EMPOWERING ADULTS THROUGH PSYCHOTHERAPY Available Online & In-Office Sessions in Beverly Hills, California. Book your session at vardastherapy.com

11/15/2025

SELF-COMPASSION: A SOFT PLACE TO LAND

You don’t need to earn your own kindness.
You don’t need to prove you’re worthy of gentleness.
Some days, the bravest thing you’ll do is place a hand on your heart and whisper,
“I’m doing the best I can.”

Self-compassion isn’t weakness —
it’s the quiet strength that helps you rise again,
forgive yourself,
and keep moving forward with a softer, steadier heart.

Be patient with your journey.
Be tender with your mistakes.
And remember:
You deserve the same grace you give to others.
Always.

⸻

11/15/2025

SELF-PITY THROUGH A JUNGIAN LENS: THE SHADOW THAT WANTS TO BE SEEN

Self-pity is one of those emotions we try to hide, even from ourselves.
But from a Jungian perspective, self-pity is not a flaw — it’s a message from the Shadow, the part of us we exile, deny, or refuse to acknowledge.

When we sink into “Why me?” or “I can’t handle this,” it’s often a sign that a hidden, wounded part of the psyche is finally speaking.
Not to weaken us —
but to be integrated.

Self-pity appears when the ego feels overwhelmed and the unconscious pushes forward old pain, unmet needs, and forgotten disappointments.
It’s not an enemy.
It’s an invitation.

💛 Here’s how to work with self-pity Jungian-style:

✨ 1. Listen to the Shadow, don’t fight it
Instead of judging yourself for feeling self-pity, ask:
“What part of me is seeking attention right now?”
This transforms the emotion into insight.

✨ 2. Find the archetype behind the feeling
Self-pity often comes from the Wounded Child, the Victim, or the Abandoned Self.
Naming the archetype helps you step back and understand what your psyche is trying to express.

✨ 3. Dialogue with the feeling
Jung emphasized active imagination.
Imagine sitting with the part of you that feels helpless.
Ask it:
“What do you need? What are you afraid of? What are you protecting me from?”
The answer is rarely weakness — it’s pain, fear, or exhaustion.

✨ 4. Look for the energy trapped inside the emotion
Self-pity often holds blocked vitality.
Behind the helplessness is usually the desire for care, safety, support, or recognition.
When you identify the true need, the energy frees itself.

✨ 5. Turn inward rather than outward
Self-pity tries to pull validation from outside.
Jung reminds us: healing comes from inner alignment.
Ask:
“How can I hold myself differently in this moment?”

✨ 6. Integrate, don’t shame
Shaming the Shadow only strengthens it.
Welcoming it brings wholeness.

Self-pity isn’t a sign of weakness —
it’s a sign the psyche is calling you home.

When we meet this feeling with curiosity instead of contempt, we slowly reclaim the parts of ourselves we abandoned.
And in doing so, we become more whole, more conscious, and more compassionate toward our own human journey.

11/15/2025

SELF-HATRED: THE SILENT BATTLE INSIDE US

Self-hatred doesn’t always show up loudly. Sometimes it’s the quiet voice that tells you you’re “not enough,” the constant guilt, the belief that you don’t deserve good things, or the urge to punish yourself for simply being human.

From a psychological perspective, self-hatred often grows from unprocessed trauma, harsh inner critics, old messages from caregivers, or chronic stress. And the more we believe those internal narratives, the stronger they become.

💛 Here are a few ways to gently start shifting out of self-hatred:

1️⃣ Challenge the inner critic
Notice the negative voice and ask: Is this thought a fact, or an old belief I’ve carried for too long?
Creating distance from that voice reduces its power.

2️⃣ Replace self-judgment with curiosity
Instead of “What’s wrong with me?” try: “Why am I feeling this way? What triggered it?”
Curiosity opens the door to healing; judgment closes it.

3️⃣ Practice small acts of self-kindness
You don’t heal self-hatred with giant leaps, but small consistent moments—resting, feeding yourself well, speaking gently to yourself.

4️⃣ Question unrealistic standards
Much self-hatred comes from perfectionism. Ask yourself whose standards you’re trying to meet and whether they truly serve you.

5️⃣ Talk to someone you trust
Shame grows in isolation. Sharing with a therapist, friend, or support group can break the cycle and offer new perspectives.

6️⃣ Remember: your worth is not earned
It’s inherent. You don’t have to prove anything to deserve care, love, or compassion.

If you’re struggling with self-hatred, let this be a reminder:
🌿 Healing is possible.
🌿 You are not your worst thoughts.
🌿 You deserve to be on your own side.

11/13/2025

✨ Self-Doubt: The Silent Mind Saboteur ✨

Self-doubt can quietly creep in, making us question our worth, our decisions, and even our dreams. It whispers, “What if you’re not enough?” — and before we know it, that voice becomes louder than our confidence.

Psychologically, self-doubt activates our brain’s stress response, flooding the mind with uncertainty and fear of failure. Over time, it can lower self-esteem, increase anxiety, and make us avoid opportunities that could help us grow.

💡 Tips to manage self-doubt:
1. Pause and label the thought. “This is self-doubt — not truth.” Naming it weakens its power.
2. Collect evidence. Write down times you’ve succeeded or overcome challenges — facts over feelings.
3. Reframe failure. Every mistake is data for growth, not proof of inadequacy.
4. Surround yourself with support. Honest, kind people can reflect your strengths back to you when you forget them.

🌱 Remember: confidence isn’t the absence of doubt — it’s the decision to move forward despite it.

08/29/2025

🌱 Personal Boundaries: Rigid, Porous, and Healthy 🌱

Boundaries are the invisible lines that protect our well-being and help us build meaningful relationships. But not all boundaries are created equal.

🔒 Rigid Boundaries
These walls keep everyone out — even those we love. While they can feel safe, they often lead to isolation and disconnection.

🌊 Porous Boundaries
These are the opposite — too loose. They leave us saying “yes” when we want to say “no,” absorbing others’ emotions, and often feeling drained or taken advantage of.

🌿 Healthy Boundaries
This is the sweet spot. Healthy boundaries let us stay open and connected while honoring our needs, values, and limits. They help us say “no” without guilt and “yes” without resentment.

✨ Reminder: Boundaries are not about shutting people out. They are about showing up authentically and creating relationships where respect, safety, and trust can thrive.

07/22/2025

🌋 Understanding Anger: What It Is & How to Manage It 🌿

Anger is a normal and natural emotion. It often signals that something feels unjust, hurtful, or out of control. But while anger itself isn’t “bad,” how we express it can deeply impact our health, relationships, and overall well-being.

⚠️ What is Anger?
Anger is the body’s response to perceived threats or violations. It can show up as irritation, frustration, or full-blown rage. At its core, anger is often a protective emotion, masking deeper feelings like hurt, fear, or shame.

✨ Tips for Managing Anger:

Pause Before Reacting
Take a deep breath. Count to 10. Walk away if needed. Creating space gives your brain time to respond, not just react.

Identify the Root Cause
Ask yourself: What am I really feeling? Is it fear? Disappointment? Unmet needs?

Use "I" Statements
Communicate clearly: “I feel upset when…” instead of “You always…”

Move Your Body
Physical activity helps release built-up tension. Even a short walk can shift your energy.

Practice Grounding Techniques
Focus on your breath, your senses, or the feeling of your feet on the ground to return to the present.

Seek Support
Talking to a friend, therapist, or support group can help you process and understand your anger.

👉 Anger doesn’t have to control you. With awareness and practice, you can channel it into something constructive.

🧠💛 Emotions are messengers. Listen with compassion, and respond with care.

04/10/2025

🌱 Psychotherapy vs. Counseling - What’s the Difference?🌱

Ever wondered what sets psychotherapy apart from counseling? You’re not alone — the two are often used interchangeably, but they offer different paths toward healing.

🧠 Psychotherapy is typically a deeper, long-term process. It explores patterns rooted in past experiences, trauma, or long-standing mental health challenges like depression, anxiety, or PTSD. Think of it as working from the inside out — addressing the root causes and internal dynamics.

💬 Counseling, on the other hand, is often more present-focused and short-term. It helps with specific life issues — such as navigating a breakup, managing stress, or making a tough decision. It’s like a compass that helps guide you through a particular life moment.

Both can be transformative — it just depends on where you are in your journey. 💛

Whether you're seeking deeper understanding or immediate support, the first step is reaching out. You deserve to feel heard, supported, and empowered.

03/10/2025

🌱 Talking to Friends vs. Therapy: Understanding the Difference 🌱

We all love to talk to our friends when we're feeling down, but have you ever wondered how that compares to professional therapy?

🗣 Talking to Friends

Supportive & Comfortable: Conversations with friends can be comforting and provide immediate emotional support. They know us well and offer empathy.

Limited Objectivity: While friends mean well, they often bring their own biases, emotions, and experiences into the conversation. This can sometimes cloud objectivity.

No Structured Approach: Friendships don't have a structured way to work through issues, and while advice is given, it might not always be what’s best for our mental health in the long term.

🛋 Therapy

Professional Guidance: Therapists are trained to listen, understand, and guide you through your emotions without judgment. They provide a safe space to explore your thoughts deeply.

Evidence-Based Techniques: Therapy uses proven methods like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or mindfulness techniques to help you build coping strategies and create lasting change.

Confidential & Unbiased: Unlike friends, therapists offer a professional, confidential environment to express your feelings without worrying about judgment or bias.

While friends are essential for emotional support, therapy helps in understanding and managing emotions with a structured approach, empowering you to move forward with greater clarity. 💬💚

If you’re finding it hard to navigate your emotions, it may be time to consider therapy as a way to help you heal and grow.

03/06/2025

Understanding Insecure Attachments: How They Shape Our Relationships

Our earliest attachments shape how we connect with others throughout life. When those early bonds are inconsistent, neglectful, or overly intrusive, they can lead to insecure attachment styles—patterns that influence our relationships in subtle and profound ways.

✨ Anxious Attachment – A deep fear of abandonment can lead to seeking constant reassurance, overanalyzing relationships, and struggling with trust.

❄️ Avoidant Attachment – Independence becomes a shield; emotional closeness feels suffocating, and vulnerability is met with withdrawal.

⚖️ Disorganized Attachment – A push-pull dynamic where love and fear coexist, leading to unpredictable relationship patterns.

These attachment styles aren’t destiny. Through self-awareness, therapy, and safe relationships, healing is possible. Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward forming deeper, more secure connections.

03/04/2025

🌿 The Psychological Impact of Toxic Relationships 🌿

Toxic relationships can have a profound effect on our mental and emotional well-being. Whether it's a romantic partner, a family member, or a close friend, being in a toxic relationship can slowly erode our sense of self-worth, trust, and overall happiness.

🔍 Here’s how toxic relationships affect the human psyche:

Constant Stress and Anxiety: Toxic dynamics often involve manipulation, criticism, or unpredictability, which keeps you in a constant state of stress and anxiety. Over time, this can lead to burnout, emotional exhaustion, and even physical health issues.

Erosion of Self-Esteem: Repeated exposure to belittling behavior, gaslighting, or emotional neglect can cause you to question your own worth. You may start doubting your abilities, questioning your decisions, or feeling unworthy of love and respect.

Loss of Boundaries: In toxic relationships, boundaries are often ignored or violated. This can lead to a loss of personal boundaries, making it difficult to assert your needs or say "no." Over time, this can lead to feelings of being overwhelmed, lost, or disconnected from yourself.

Cognitive Dissonance: When you’re in a toxic relationship, you may experience cognitive dissonance — the mental discomfort that comes from holding two conflicting beliefs. You may recognize the toxic behavior but feel conflicted because you still care for the person or feel trapped in the relationship.

Increased Vulnerability to Depression: The ongoing emotional strain can trigger feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and a lack of motivation. Over time, this can lead to clinical depression if left unaddressed.

🌱 Healing and Moving Forward

Breaking free from a toxic relationship isn’t easy, but it is essential for your mental and emotional health. It’s important to seek support, whether through therapy, self-care practices, or connecting with loved ones who truly uplift you. Remember, you deserve to be in a relationship that nurtures and supports your well-being.

Take care of your mental health — it’s the foundation of everything else. 🌸

Address

8500 Wilshire Boulevard, Suite 740
Beverly Hills, CA
90211

Opening Hours

Tuesday	10am - 5pm
Wednesday	10am - 5pm
Thursday	10am - 5pm
Friday	10am - 5pm

Website

https://vardastherapy.com/

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