Donor Egg Doula Community

06/26/2023

One thing some doing donor embryo/eggs/sperm struggle with is finally getting what they wanted; pregnant. After years of struggle, disappointment and for many, loss, we just are stuck in a doom-survival loop. Trusting our bodies can be hard.

06/20/2023

We celebrated our OE (own egg) son’s 7th Birthday and our DE (donor egg) birthdays together on Sunday. We love them both so much! One thing we worried about was if we would feel differently about our donor conceived child, we don’t! We are so grateful for him, sometimes it takes a village to bring a child into the world.

05/22/2023

A favorite of mine, The Guest House. When I found out I needed to probably do donor eggs to have another child it was so alien to me. It took a couple more years, thousands in treatments, meds and a failed IVF to get to where I KNEW it was the only way I’d have my 2nd child. For everyone it’s different. I felt like I had to invite in grief to then have joy come. I was right.

THE GUEST HOUSE

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

05/14/2023

Happy Mothers Day! This day is hard for many, thinking of you! ♥️

04/28/2023

1:1 support for your/your family’s needs, goal setting, education, grief support, pregnancy after miscarriage, pregnancy support, preparing for transfer, 2WW, failed transfer, questions about donor conception. I am not a counselor but a certified bereavement doula and here to help you be the healthiest, educated and empowered version of you through whatever your journey is.

04/28/2023

Above is our own egg son and below is our donor egg son. With a donor who doesn’t look like me, I wasn’t sure what to expect. We just knew we would love him♥️ Epigenetics matter!

04/28/2023

I was in a group with my fertility clinic for expecting Moms. As the only donor egg Mom I felt out of place and when I brought up how hard I cried after signing my son up for a sport I loved as a child, someone made a comment that my donor egg son would have my genetics. They argued with me about it and I felt worse off. It confirmed what I had felt all along, I was in a different orbit than these women.

I had different questions, like would my son love me the same as my older own egg son? Would he look like a stranger, would I recognize him, would we connect? What if he just doesn’t like me? Will I feel bad if someone says he looks like me? Like a fraud? Will I tell everyone we had a donor? Will I tell no one, not even him? What if he wants to find his donor egg Mom? What if he likes her better? What if he’s angry at me for being made in a lab and cryogenically frozen? How will we pay all the bills? Will we know his other siblings? Will he feel different? How can I help him to be happy and know how loved he is everyday?

There were so many other questions that just seemed to not be asked by the women in that group and I decided to leave it, wishing them the best. I was in Facebook groups, reading post after post, I prayed with my pastor, I meditated and I felt so much joy and gratitude. Yet, I felt a little lonely. Even with a doula, a therapist early in pregnancy. None of them really got it, except for others in my shoes. With them I felt so much connection and I was able to see my way through. I want everyone to feel that here on their journey.

04/28/2023

Connecting with your body after loss can be hard. It can feel like a scary place. Becoming pregnant after loss it is hard to not be consumed by worry. Processing those feelings 1:1 or with a group can help to ease those fears, find healthy outlets, set measurable goals and be seen and heard by another who has been in a similar spot. You are not too much, your grief is not too much, and your joy can be more than you imagine. You can connect to your body, your baby, your partner and yourself.

04/28/2023

04/28/2023

1-3pm CST 6 weekly 2 hr Zoom sessions to discuss donor egg pregnancy. Special speakers from donors to donor conceived people. Some are worried about bonding with their baby and pregnancy after loss can make it even more difficult to not be anxious. Ultimately, this group is to support families on their journey with a baby. Partners welcome!