04/29/2026
Real, unaesthetic everyday life. My friend took these photos while I was in the home stretch of my second pregnancy. The biggest, baggiest maternity shirts were almost too short because I blow up like a balloon right at the end. I always envisioned myself being the little pregnant lady with a bump that looked like it was just added on, not realizing the reality would be feeling like one of those cheap, blow-up people flopping around in front of a furniture or car storefront. My toddler was making circles like a cat between my legs and hiding under the dishwasher while I tried to make a dent in a pile of dirty dishes. Life felt very overwhelming then and little did I know I was about to dive head first into one of the toughest seasons of my life. A season that broke me down to my core and made me into the person who I am today. I have never slept well at the end of pregnancy but I got even less sleep the moment I gave birth to a baby who almost was born in a car on the way to the hospital. I lost over twenty pounds in less than a month after birth. It was simply because I had a newborn who I could never sit still with and one who pushed me into such a state of pure survival that I did not have time to eat. I was dismissed, gaslit, misinformed, and minimized time and again by providers. I was consumed with trying to soothe and feed my baby. Eventually we got the answers we needed, but not after experiencing lots of hardships. One of my biggest lessons from that season was to believe that I am worthy of getting the help I believe I need and to find a team of providers who believe me and have the skills to address the problems at hand. That sounds like it should be simple and straightforward, but it wasn’t for me in this situation. Have the courage to call the shots and own the outcome, and to pivot without shame when things are not working out. And if motherhood is feeling too hard and too heavy, that is not a sign to try harder or implement a better system, it is often a warning signal that you are absolutely drowning. You don’t need an attitude check, you aren’t lazy; you need help.
