04/13/2026
Lunch at the cafΓ©. I've found some time to slow down, outside of the house. It's been just over a month since closing the healing gallery. This incubation period has been busy with grandmothering and with procrastinating on the organizing that I was excited to get to. I've made small bits of progress in between bathing little toes, homeschooling and enrichment outings- and marveling at how dirty dishes seem to multiply all on their own.
My early morning dreams are steadily poking me out of my caccoon, revealing the subconscious and the flags from red to green- when stagnation creeps in, so do my guides! Romantic ties to spiritual adventures are giving way, and in their place is a settling in of the ordinary; the humble parts of the mind making another round around the spiral path of life's journey. I'm no longer a middle aged wise woman, but a crone in self discovery- not only in self reflection, but in the sitting back and observing, time of my life. The, what do I want to do when I grow up, part of my life- and the *ohhhh*... is kicking in, merging with the empty vessel. Perhaps the hidden blessing of menopause mind is just that- the empty vessel that we either struggle with or take advantage of the time to sit with the mind that doesn't cling to every list and worry. Contentment, satisfaction, joy in simply being. The alternative seems to be feelings of inadequacy, anxiety and discomfort- when the focus is too much on being bothered by these things, these human things. And yet there comes this comfort in the human things. Perhaps it's time to spend time with my drum, to get back to my asanas, to open the Crown. Writing this I see the stretching of the soul, both reaching consciousness and rooted. Ha.. isn't it funny that we think we are the gurus in our 30's. Maybe the true wisdom lies in embracing all that we do not know. ππ½