Befriending Grief with Beth Erlander your Grief Friend

Befriending Grief with Beth Erlander your Grief Friend

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𝐒𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐢𝐧 𝐒𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 3!

Creating and hosting this show continues to be one of the most incredible honors of my lifetime. It is a “pinch me” moment every time I get to record, produce, share, and receive such lovely feedback both from the guests and listeners like you!

We’re only 6 episodes into this season and I’ve already learned so much and have so many more incredible guests in store.

You’ve already heard from:

▶️ Kristin Neff on the importance of compassion and grief

▶️ Mindy Corporon inviting us to heal a shattered soul

▶️ John A. Powellof the Othering & Belonging Institute about othering and belonging in grief

▶️Best-selling author Melissa Gould Author on being widowish

▶️ Allan Cole on the nature of progressive wisdom with Parkinson's Disease

▶️ Barbara Jones invited us to reimagine cancer care

This month you will hear from:

🌟 Ilyse Kennedy of Moving Parts Psychotherapy about the relationship between trauma and grief

🌟 Befriending Grief with Beth Erlander your Grief Friend will invite us to see how rituals transform grief

I’m excited to share that I have already recorded or will be recording soon with some of these incredible humans:

❤️ Ashlee Cunsolo explores climate and ecological grief

❤️ Naheed Dosani asks us to examine whose grief we value

❤️ Mourning Surf invites us to ride the waves of grief

❤️ Rachel Rusch asks us to reexamine our narratives

❤️ Marisa Renee Lee reminds us grief is love

Oh, and so many more.

Seriously y’all, I can’t believe I have the honor of holding these conversations then sharing them with you!


➡️Subscribe now to Grief is a Sneaky Bitch on Apple Podcasts or wherever you stream your favorite shows so you don’t miss the next episode when it drops.

🙏🏼While you’re there, if you love the show, please do me a favor and leave a rating and write a review.

With deep gratitude,

Your host and fellow griever
Lisa

🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼Thanks to my GSB sponsors for supporting the show! Eterneva Mir Senior Care Management & Care Consultants Justice Leaders Collaborative
We bang our heads against this very high wall of hatred and fear that divides these two nations. And we put cracks in it - cracks of hope - until we will put it down. Because there is no other alternative. The alternative is too painful. And we have an enormous ally on our side, which is the power of pain. You should know that the power of pain is tremendous. It is very much like nuclear energy. And like this enormous energy, you can use it to bring darkness, destruction, pain, and death to people. And you can use this energy to bring light, warmth, and hope.

Rami Elhanan
Member of the Parents Circle
Israelites and Palestinians who have lost children to the violence between their nations.
Nature grieves😭
🙏

Guiding you through grief with embodied practices using art therapy, creative grief therapy, use of the natural world and rituals.

Services only with Zoom right now. I'll guide you through grief, loss and trauma back to an experience of joy.

Operating as usual

05/27/2022

Yesterday was a big rebuild day...that beautiful mandala made by a stranger was completely destroyed...it reminded me of all those impacted by the shooting in Texas and how their lives will never be the same. Grief changes you forever. So, I commit to rebuilding and doing what I can with my holy rage to make a difference in this broken world.

05/24/2022

Update on the stone circle area. Check this out!!! Someone created this and I came upon it yesterday. I was overcome with joy and gratitude for this beautiful mandala made from nature in nature. Thank you to the one or ones who created it! May this also bring you joy and momentum to keep going.

Timeline photos 05/23/2022

Here are some suggestions for responding to the grief, trauma, and fear of these times with creativity:

Create an altar to your personal grief.

Or create an altar to the collective grief.

Perhaps you create an altar that encompasses both.

Gather things that are beautiful to you—start with a piece of cloth with a color that has a certain meaning for you. I’m going to use green for peace.

Then go gather some items that also have beauty and meaning to you—you could gather items from nature-stones, crystals, branches, and twigs. Or they could be things that you already have in your home.

Find images that are inspiring AND find images that are horrifying. There are so many images that we are bombarded with these days on social media and the news—let’s use them.

Find an image that really speaks to your grief and honor it by placing it in a beautiful frame or glue it to a piece of paper that’s a healing color to you.

Or you could collage it with an image that is its opposite. For example, I found an image of a bomb exploding, and I want to rip it up and combine it with pieces of a hopeful image such as the green growth of the spring plants.

Let that image become the centerpiece of your altar.

Your altar can be both full of hope and the harshness of what’s happening. It can be both dark and light.

You could do this alone or with your family or community.

And if possible involve the children. Each time we share and process creative ways to be with our grief with them, we are teaching the children a beautiful lesson about how to be with grief.

If you create an altar, please send me a photo—I would love to see what you create.

I would like to find a way to post and share these because I believe that sharing it with each other helps spread the message further and deeper.

Afterall, art is what keeps us human and it connects us all.



I created a DIY Online Grief Relief program for those of you who were dealing with sudden unexpected loss and intense grief.

This program is for all of us but it’s especially for those of you who are dealing with “normal” loss on top of the pandemic situation. You are really having a double dose of grief.

https://betherlander.com/online-grief-relief-program-2/

Timeline photos 05/16/2022

Here are some suggestions for responding to the grief, trauma, and fear of these times with creativity:

Create an altar to your personal grief.

Or create an altar to the collective grief.

Perhaps you create an altar that encompasses both.

Gather things that are beautiful to you—start with a piece of cloth with a color that has a certain meaning for you. I’m going to use green for peace.

Then go gather some items that also have beauty and meaning to you—you could gather items from nature-stones, crystals, branches, and twigs. Or they could be things that you already have in your home.

Find images that are inspiring AND find images that are horrifying. There are so many images that we are bombarded with these days on social media and the news—let’s use them.

Find an image that really speaks to your grief and honor it by placing it in a beautiful frame or glue it to a piece of paper that’s a healing color to you.

Or you could collage it with an image that is its opposite. For example, I found an image of a bomb exploding, and I want to rip it up and combine it with pieces of a hopeful image such as the green growth of the spring plants.

Let that image become the centerpiece of your altar.

Your altar can be both full of hope and the harshness of what’s happening. It can be both dark and light.

You could do this alone or with your family or community.

And if possible involve the children. Each time we share and process creative ways to be with our grief with them, we are teaching the children a beautiful lesson about how to be with grief.

If you create an altar, please send me a photo—I would love to see what you create.

I would like to find a way to post and share these because I believe that sharing it with each other helps spread the message further and deeper.

Afterall, art is what keeps us human and it connects us all.



I created a DIY Online Grief Relief program for those of you who were dealing with sudden unexpected loss and intense grief.

This program is for all of us but it’s especially for those of you who are dealing with “normal” loss on top of the pandemic situation. You are really having a double dose of grief.

https://betherlander.com/online-grief-relief-program-2/

Timeline photos 05/09/2022

I’ve been in a weekly online group since July of 2021 called “Soulful Life” with my grief mentor Francis Weller and another grief warrior, Holly Truhlar, along with about 70 other participants.

It’s become a healing balm I look forward to each week, especially now with the war in the Ukraine added onto the layers of the pandemic, systemic racial injustice, late stage capitalism, and the climate crisis, etc…

How do we keep going?

It’s simply too much and I’m finally feeling my capacity.

And I’m curious—how’re you holding up these days?

Each month in the group with Francis and Holly we have a theme.

One of the themes was Living an Artful Life.

We’re diving into how to keep our creativity alive even when we’re in crisis.

Francis told us about a man imprisoned at Auschwitz who recited poetry out loud to the others.

Even the ones who spoke a different language and didn’t understand the words kept asking him to recite more poems.

Just the sound of his voice and the cadence of the words touched their souls and gave them respite and a sense of hope.

It made me think about how great art is often created during dark times.

Art becomes an oasis in the middle of horrible tragedy.

Art is like the bread and butter for the soul; the arts become a form of nourishment.
In this way, art carries us forward in times of crisis.



Art is so much more than expression—it’s a way to stay connected to your soul and it becomes a life line.

Francis went on to ask us—how are you re-creating yourself right now (playing with the word “recreation”)?

And is it possible for you to put your art and creativity first or is there a way to have more of an artful life right now?

Can you respond to the world through artful living?



I want to share with you a tiny tiny offering that has helped me along the way.

This one-hour body-centered meditation will help you smile from the inside out using the breath, proprioceptive input, and self-compassion.

https://betherlander.com/my-tiny-offer-finding-joy-in-the-middle-of-the-rubble/

Photos from Befriending Grief with Beth Erlander your Grief Friend's post 05/04/2022

In my last blog I suggested a ritual to honor Earth’s grief.

I want to share my own experience of giving attention to a desecrated piece of land.

It was easy for me to find and get there because right now there’s a new development going in right near our home.

The developers decided to use the sidewalk and pedestrian path for the big construction trucks and bull dozers.

I have no idea why!

So for the past few weeks I’ve been watching them trample the area that used to be part of an open space meadow.

So I went and sat with that piece of land for a bit to hear what it had to say.

This is what it said:

“Yes, I’m sad, but it’s something I’m used to…the area beneath your house was also destroyed to build your very own abode. I’ve been being slowly changed and desecrated for many years now. And any progress comes with destruction. It’s part of growth, part of life. Yet I appreciate you noticing and coming to be with me.”

And then I wanted to offer it a piece of art.

I thought I was going to create a mandala out of the rocks, broken concrete, some trash nearby, dried plants and grasses.

But instead I got that all it needed were these words—“I’m sorry.”

So I wrote that three times with small pebbles that the construction crew had left behind, and with dried stalks and flowers from my own backyard.

I also added a simple peace sign made from dried grasses from the meadow.

I noticed my own grief from this destruction.

I felt Earth’s grief as I tuned in to all that has been destroyed throughout her life, and how she hasn’t been recognized for all she’s given. I felt immense grief over her lifetime.

And then I noticed a settling in my nervous system.

I felt calmer and more grounded than before.

I felt like a little kid again with mud on my knees from intimately kneeling to make art with rocks and sticks.

I felt joy from the dirt underneath my fingernails from my busy hands working to create something in honor of her.

I felt closer and more connected to her, the mud and myself.

...

Need some easy grief support? I’ve got 9 Tips for Being with Grief plus a monthly newsletter to help you navigate the ongoing wild ride of grieving.

https://mailchi.mp/225106d99598/beingingrief

Welcome Lover!

You are grieving deeply only because you loved and still love. This is a page dedicated to helping you find ways to navigate through the grief process. I am excited to announce that I am now offering grief coaching packages, an online DIY grief relief program, and remote services so that you can get high quality grief support.

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5412 Idylwild Trail, #107
Boulder, CO
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Tuesday 11am - 5pm
Thursday 11am - 6:30pm
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Saturday 12pm - 2pm

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