05/27/2026

So proud of my brother and his team at DeliverFund. Did you know an estimated 60% of all persons who are trafficked in the US have a history in the foster care system?

05/18/2026

Most of the focus in parenting conversations is on the child’s behavior, but what actually drives change in your home is what happens inside of you when their challenging behaviors show up.

A lot of parents are carrying a significant amount of anger. Not just in the big moments, but in the accumulation of repeated stress, things not working, and the ongoing pressure of trying to hold everything together. That anger makes sense, but it doesn’t stay contained. It starts to shape how you respond.

What usually happens next is that parents move toward more control. They become more directive, more corrective, and more urgent in how they try to manage what’s happening. The intention is to stop the behavior and create stability, but the impact is often—unfortunately—the opposite. The child experiences that increase in control as pressure, and pressure escalates their nervous system rather than settling it.

This is where many families get stuck. The parent’s anger leads to more control, the child reacts to that control, and both become more dysregulated over time. From the outside it looks like a behavior problem, but underneath it is a pattern of reactivity on both sides.

What creates change is not simply using a different parenting strategy with your child. It is learning how to recognize and work with your own anger (and, importantly, any and all other emotions that you notice) so it does not drive your response.

It's a process but one well worth your effort.

05/14/2026

A lot of parents tell me they feel like they’re barely holding it together: “I might feel like I’m having a panic attack, but no one would even know.” That internal experience matters more than most approaches account for. It's worsened by the fact that you may be left feeling more isolated because of that panic.
One of the most effective things we work on is increasing your ability to come back to a calm state after stressful event with your child. Not instantly, but faster. That might look like stepping away for a few minutes, using something regulating (movement, quiet, even petting your dog—co-regulation is powerful), and then re-engaging. Over time, your recovery window shortens, and that has the power to change dynamics in your home for the better.

05/10/2026

Mother’s Day can be a really tender day for a lot of the parents I talk to. Personally, it marked one of the darkest days of my life as we wrestled through a deeply painful parenting experience.
There’s love for your child, of course. That’s never in question. But there can also be exhaustion, frustration, and sometimes even a quiet sense of grief for what you thought parenting would look like.
I’ve had so many conversations with parents who say some version of, “I know I love my child… but I don’t feel like myself anymore.”
If that’s been true for you at any point, you’re in good company.
What I see over and over again is not a lack of love or commitment (if anything, I see a commitment that is relentless and can contribute to exhaustion). Instead, it’s the impact of living in a constant state of stress. When your body is always bracing, always trying to manage the next thing, it starts to change how you show up—whether you want it to or not.
This work isn’t about trying harder or learning another new parenting technique. It’s about helping your nervous system come out of that chronic state so you can actually access the version of yourself you want to be with your child... and in all the other important parts of your life.
Because when you feel more steady, more regulated and more like yourself, your responses shift in a way that no script or technique can create on its own.
If you are a mom, my prayer for you is that today you would feel seen, understood and—more than anything—appreciated for all you're doing and all you're carrying.

05/04/2026

Most of the parents I work with are not lacking effort. They’ve done therapy, read the books, and learned what they’re supposed to say in the moment. But when something actually happens, it falls apart. One parent said it clearly: “We know how to say or do the right thing, but inside, we might not be feeling that.” That’s the gap traditional approaches don’t address. If your nervous system is overwhelmed, you don’t have access to those tools—you’ll either react or shut down.
What I help parents do instead is build awareness of what state they’re in before they try to change anything. If you can start to notice, “I’m getting activated” or “I’m starting to shut down,” you interrupt the pattern earlier. That’s where change begins—not with a better script, but with a different internal state.

05/02/2026

Many parents who reach out to me feel stuck in a pattern of stress, guilt, and self doubt.
They are trying very hard to do the right things for their child, but internally they feel like they are failing because of their own reactions. They may feel anxious, frustrated, or angry and then they judge themselves for having those emotions in the first place.
One parent recently shared this with me:
"This has been life changing for me... In the past I have felt guilty for having ‘negative’ emotions like anxiety or anger. Reframing that toward acceptance and realizing those emotions are trying to help me is life changing."
This is an important shift for many parents.
When parents stop treating their emotions as something shameful and begin understanding them as signals from the nervous system, they start responding to themselves differently. Instead of feeling like they are failing, they begin to recognize that their mind and body have been trying to protect them during a very stressful season of life.
That change in perspective is often the beginning of real healing.

04/17/2026

"There’s so much chaos, and I can’t fix it, but I also can’t escape it."

Maybe you can relate to a parent who said this recently, because this is the place where many parents feel trapped. They know they are reacting in ways they do not want to, but in the moment, their body is already activated. Once that happens, access to patience, clarity, and connection becomes limited. This is not about willpower or discipline. It is about how your nervous system is automatically responding to ongoing stress, and until that shifts, you will continue to feel like you are trying harder without getting different results.

The key is to work with your nervous system. This isn't selfish, but actually can be the best thing for your whole family.

04/10/2026

There is a pattern I see in almost every family I work with. The more a parent tightens structure and consequences, the more the child adapts around it. More rules often lead to more sneaking. More consequences lead to more hiding. One parent shared that her daughter seemed to put more energy into getting around the boundaries than it would take to simply follow them.
This is not a failure of consistency or discipline. It is what happens when a child is not operating from a place of safety and trust—something that may not be possible for their hearts and minds to yet experience. The problem is that most parenting strategies are built on the assumption that the child can respond to structure in a typical way. When that is not the case, parents increase their effort, and over time their own capacity begins to break down.
Does any of this resonate with you? If so, you're not alone.

04/09/2026

Recently I said to a parent, "I wish I could help you change your child, but I can’t. We get to support our kids, but we can’t fix their reality, we can't undo the pain of their histories.”
This is the point where many parents feel stuck. If more effort does not create change, it can feel like there are no options left. What I want you to understand is that this does not mean you have been doing it wrong. It means you have been trying to solve something that effort alone cannot resolve. When children are operating from a place of fear or protection, increasing control, structure, rules or parameters does not create internal safety for them. And when you are operating from constant stress, your ability to respond can effectively be reduced.
That's why learning how to regulate yourself, to experience peace and calm inside your own mind and body again (maybe for the first time in years) is so important. It's something you do actually have some control in.

Tondre Therapeutics

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