Weight Loss Surgery

04/19/2023

11/08/2022

Hi all, this is Dan, Mel’s husband. She was involved in a serious head on crash a couple weeks ago and has been unable to post or answer her emails and posts like normal. She’s still in Hospital going into day 18 with 2 surgeries, 4 Broken Ribs lots of internal injuries.
She’s at Bayonet Point in Hudson Florida.

01/01/2018

This has nothing to do with the topic of this page. It’s just a smile...a laugh... 27 seconds of smiles and laughter to share with you and hopefully brighten your day. We all could use a good laugh together, right?

04/03/2017

There are many times, not just in the WLS journey, but in life in general, where we feel alone. We're part of a special group here and each of you are part of this too. As WLS patients, we've all had more similar experiences than most even realize. Whether it's our weight struggles, making the choice to have surgery, learning a whole new way of life during or after surgery. Whatever it is, one of the things we learned was that we aren't alone in our experiences, concerns, joys and more.

Remember all the times you did the yo-yo dieting? It all began with determination that this was going to be the time that worked. Whether it was a regimented program, a common sense plan or even as extreme as crazy things like cabbage soup diet or liquid diets. We THOUGHT we could do it. We might've even succeeded, briefly, but most times we not only regained what we lost, but it came back bringing friends in the way of more pounds than we lost packing back on!

When we began our journey, most that know me know I'm not exactly bashful or shy about talking to people. That inherent openness taught me something really important along the way. As I shared our stories (mine and Dan's), I heard others share stories that could've been our own too. The more we shared, the more others opened up and we saw so many parallels. So you're wondering, what does that have to do with anything? It means as alone as we have felt or feel in whatever phase of the journey...we're not! You aren't! We also learned that the things we were most ashamed of in our story, others had the same feelings too. We weren't unique in this. We, and others, had just been silent too long and felt we had to handle it all alone.

You're NEVER alone here! It doesn't matter if it's a weight gain issue, a food addiction issue, a body dysmorphia issue, a surgery issue, transfer of addictions issue, a confidence issue.... the list goes on and on. You aren't the first, or the last, and you have your own special group right here that understands. There's no shame in any of these things. The only time I see any shame is it would be a shame to stay secluded within your own mind's walls.

Be your own hero and a hero to your peers here ... when you feel it's right for you. We're here to support you now and always. This journey isn't a quick fix but is indeed a permanent solution to a permanent problem. It can indeed be faster and easier than you think if you use all the tools, including the people that share your journey.

If you have a specific issue, don't hesitate to let me know how I (and others here) can join in to help. We want everyone to be long term success stories. You're more than welcome to dm me privately here, if you aren't ready to open up to the group. Or, feel free to open any topic we can help with. We feel the more the merrier that join in and the more successful we'll all be. You that are new to starting the process or new surgery patients help remind us long timers of where we were and you fuel our enthusiasm and help keep us going. It's a two way street and all of us want the same end result. A long, healthy, active life at a healthy weight. You're important to us and so is your success!

-Melissa & Dan

03/17/2017

Whether you're just looking into weight loss surgery or you've started your journey or you just had surgery or maybe you're years and years post-op. Whatever your journey status... we all learn from one another. The way I see it, if one of us fails, we all fail because we should be supporting and encouraging each other. Sharing experiences, etc.

I see the newbies and, even though we're 13 years post-op, we are reminded of our early days ourselves and that enthusiasm and excitement. It takes you back to that anticipation and renews our own journey and helps refuel us too.

What many don't realize is that we each can see something of our own stories and journeys in each other's shared stories and experiences ... no matter how long you've been in this special club of people!

For those that don't know me, also will find, I'm always available to answer questions, offer encouragement, ask experts we work with for help or whatever we can do to help make your journey a long term success story.

Feel free to post or message me. We all are here for one another!

05/14/2016

I was talking with a lady that is getting ready to have WLS. Her biggest worry....will I ever really eat again? Anyone that has contemplated or had WLS has had that exact same thought!!!

Why is it, after living in misery, struggling SO hard with our weight and trying repeatedly to lose weight, do we think of what we might not have instead of the wonderful ways our lives will change? Why does something so fleeting as a meal, a snack or a treat, hold such a high place of priority in our lives?

It's because, for so many years, food has been our friend, our solace, our go to for immediate satisfaction. We've all walked past that piece of pie or cake or cookies and eaten them just because they were there! We didn't need it and weren't even actually hungry, but it called out to us and we answered with a plate and a fork!

Here's the kicker though! After surgery, we still eat well! We actually TASTE our food and really pay attention to what we're eating. So what if it's 3 oz? We enjoy every little taste! Before, we could put it away in big portions and all we really tasted was that first bite. The rest, well it was just having a fork filled, poised and ready to shovel in when we hadn't even finished the bite we had in our mouths.

Don't fear what you "think" you'll miss! Think of the renewed you that will be there. Think of the way you'll enjoy, really enjoy, the choices you make. Think of the control you'll reclaim over your life! The only thing you'll be losing is a LOT of weight.... that other you that you've been carrying around. You'll lose the stressing, frustration, fear and tears. This is YOU, taking back everything you have missed and starting over. Life feels good when you can enjoy it instead of dreading each look in the mirror or each labored step you take.

So, tell me, do you really think you'll "miss" anything worth missing? I think you'll be surprised at how your mindset changes and quickly.

-Melissa & Dan

02/14/2016

I think we all have a favorite story along the way in our weight loss journey. It's funny just how fast the weight falls off in those early weeks/months and you literally can skip sizes. I've had other WLS patients share their stories with me (which I love, so feel free to share!).

I remember one day I was in Wal-Mart, just running in for a few things when Dan sees the look on my face that tells him we need to leave and we need to leave NOW! Why? Well it was one of those weight loss aha moments because my underwear was literally falling off! If I had been wearing a skirt, I would've walked right out of them! Now how embarrassing would that have been? Instead, I could feel them working down into my capris and I just knew the whole world could see this ... even though they couldn't. It felt horrible, but it was hilarious, once I was in the safety of the car.

Everything changes. Shoe sizes, ring sizes and clothes sizes faster than you can keep up. It's the total opposite of all those years of battling and struggling, yo-yoing and feeling deprived, depressed and defeated. Finally, it's all about what works long term and fast results on the front end. Ahhhhh. I love going back and reliving my/our journey. I love sharing in your journey. Why? Because it reminds me where we were and what we all went through. I love keeping that enthusiasm alive and I don't ever for a second want to forget where I was before surgery. I want to appreciate what this great tool has given me!

People ask us, if we had it to do over again, would we do anything different! Would we choose a different procedure? Would we do anything different than we did? The answers.....we would 100% still choose RNY gastric bypass because even now it's still considered the "gold standard" of weight loss surgery procedures. But, doing anything different? If we could've had our same surgeon, we would've wished to have our surgery years sooner! But we have no regrets! None! 12+ years post-op and still holding strong maintaining! Happy, happy, healthy and no issues at all other than we had to buy a LOT of new clothes and shoes! 😊❤️

01/17/2016

Our journey has become a 12+ year success story filled with tens of thousands of WLS friends made along the way. We are passionate about you being a long term success too and joining our circle of friends here. We love sharing, we love the connections and seeing the common threads in everyone's story and us all learning from one another, supporting each other at every stage, before, after and long, long down the road. If one fails, we all fail so let's help make sure our WLS community has the answers and support it needs.
We're here and on FB and accessible for questions, to hear your successes, stresses, or whatever is on your mind. We hope you'll join in because there's never such a thing as too much support and positive reinforcement! We're glad you're here!

12/28/2015

In your WLS journey, what do you find to be your biggest problem? Or do you have a problem? Is it getting in enough protein? Water? Staying up on your vitamins? Is it remembering to eat at the right intervals?

To maintain your weight loss, long term, you need to develop specific habits during the first 12-24 months (the honeymoon phase). If you didn't develop those good habits, we can help you learn them now and what to do to retrain yourself.

Do you realize that the WLS patients that fail, that regain weight, is because they get back into old habits? BUT that tool ... the surgery ... is still there! Everyday you have the ability to start back over! Most start panicking if they gain 10 or 15 lbs and then quit watching the scale or what they're doing or choices they're making. If you look at it, in those early days, most lose SO much, they can lose 10-15 lbs too much and the body will adjust and put you where it is happy. Does that mean you're failing because you gained those few pounds back? NO! How much have you still lost? Are you still a huge loser in the weight loss realm? You bet!

Sometimes, a lot of times, we can be our worst enemy. We forget to be proud of what we've accomplished. We forget that 10 lbs is only 10 lbs out of 100 or 200 lbs! We beat ourselves up and there goes that vicious cycle yet again. Why do we have to always be so hard, so negative, so critical of ourselves? Even when we were big, we weren't failures! Whether you are just beginning the journey or you're a new WLS patient or you're a long term patient like us, we all have to step back and look at our stories. I've spent years now talking to patients all around the world and its a funny thing, all of our stories always have a common thread somewhere.

If we all have common threads in our stories, that means we ALL can have common threads in our successes too. Sharing with each other has always been a big factor. I know it's harder for some to speak up or to begun telling their stories. You're not alone though. I get emails from thousands of you all around the world. I talk to you one-on-one. Imagine what we can do for one another, as a community, if we open up and share.

I'll always be right here, whether answering one-on-one, or joining in with all of you. I want to see each of you succeed long term. If I don't have the answer(s) you need, I know the people who do have the answers. So think about what YOU need because odds are, someone else needs it too. Where does your journey begin? Or how can we help you make it better? Or is it an amazing journey already? Let us be proud with you!

Dan & I had RNY gastric bypass, same day, over 12 years ago and lost 300 lbs between us. We've had ups and downs where medicine made us gain for a short time (steroids) but it came back off. Life happens. There's ways to still succeed no matter what life gives you.

12/26/2015

12/26/2015

Coming up on the end of the year and the start of the new year. Most of us have just spent a huge amount of time focused on Christmas, Hanukkah or your personal religious holiday. My point isn't about the holiday but about the amount of time we put into preparations, gifts, food, family, travel, etc. Why is it we'll do all that but we won't put that same effort into what we need for ourselves? Aren't we important? What IF, just for once, we stopped and thought about us and our health and put just a small amount of that same drive, same enthusiasm, same energy into a goal or something positive just for us, no one else?

It's not about being selfish. It's about finally stopping the things we've procrastinated on or its about rewarding ourself for our successes. Now that the holidays are behind you, the new year is ahead. Time to focus on you! What have YOU wanted or wished for you in your WLS journey? Or have you maintained your loss and your doing well? Are you a success story? How long? Is it going well all the time or are you finding any areas of struggle?

We're a community, a WLS family. The way I see it, if one of us fails, we all fail. We need to be here to support, encourage and be proud of and for one another. There is always something we can do to help one another.

No matter where you are in your journey, you always need that connection. I want to know you are doing for yourself and I want to know how I can help you. I want you to feel comfortable asking anything, sharing a thing and encouraging others too.

Beginning right now.... don't wait... don't pass go ...... don't collect $200 .... don't delay....... Make today the day you start your focus on your journey and what you want or what you need or what you've accomplished. It doesn't take much time each day. Find the tool you like best. A journal to write in. A phone to make notes in. This page to connect with others as well. Whatever works for you. That's what it's all about. Stop putting everyone and everything ahead of you. Too many people need you. Most of all, you need to feel good about you. Let's get started together.

08/29/2015

For anyone thinking of weight loss surgery (WLS), having WLS or that has had it, journaling is a key factor in your journey. I can see the eye rolls and hear the moans and groans already, but bear with me and you might see this differently shortly.

When you're thinking about having surgery or starting your process, one of the things you'll find in the process is there are a lot of questions, appointments, info gathering and questions you'll have. With all of us having a variety of electronic devices, we have easy access to jot a few notes at any given time. Some choose to keep notes on calendar pages do they know exact dates, others just do file notes and date. Whatever you choose, they can be as simple or elaborate as you choose but you will find them not only helpful but a great reference and a great look back in your journey too.

Keep track of your weight and measurements on a regular basis. Insert photos too. I know, I know, no one likes the scale or photos of themselves, but you'll be glad you have this record!

Keep track of everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING, you eat or drink. That includes every vitamin you take and every medication too. If you take your blood pressure, record it too. You're going to be surprised along this journey how these things are going to change. Even your shoe size is going to change!

Write down all of your appointments and any questions ahead of time for appointments. We all know we get in there and get sidetracked and walk out and go, "I forgot to ask about .....". This way you'll be prepared. While you're in there, put your phone on record so when you leave you can either notate what was important into your journal or just keep your audio files. That way there's no mistaking or forgetting what was said.

After surgery, we were in such a habit of journaling and it was almost like looking back at someone else as I would read back through my journey. I was so glad I had it. Seeing it before my eyes still seems mind boggling to me that the weight fell off so fast. It also helped me to pinpoint foods that worked or didn't work for me or when foods would change for me. I could literally look at my calendar, where my journal notes are, and see what I had and tell where my energy dipped or soared and tell you which foods were responsible. That's powerful! It didn't take me weeks or months or letting food get out of control or it controlling me. I could see it, fix it, move on. Sometimes it might me a medication. Whatever it is, I have a roadmap right in front of me and it literally takes seconds to enter the info but is priceless.

We waste more time watching a commercial or sitting at a stoplight than it takes to make the notes on what we had for breakfast or lunch or dinner or a snack. It takes seconds to list our vitamins (cut and paste if they're the same each day). I have a list of constants on a notepad that I cut and paste to keep it simple .... my vitamins, my water bottles (I account for each 18 oz bottle I drink per day), 3 oz chicken, 3 oz beef, 3 oz pork, Greek yogurt, cheese, etc. Make your "go to" list of food faves to help keep simplify.

You'll find your own way of journaling and as you go through your journey you'll refer to this multiple times. As you become a long term success story, it's always a great reminder to go back and remember your journey and that new patient feeling and enthusiasm. Don't ever forget the pride in yourself and your success story!

I've had some patients come to me and they lost fast, fast, fast and then gained back 15, 20 or 25 lbs and panicked. They started getting depressed and talking failure talk. How could this be? They just lost 120, 140, 160 lbs! Ok, so they gained a small amount back. They're still down anywhere from 105-135 right? I think that's still a success, don't you? The tool is still in place. They didn't gain all the weight back and they have the ability to get right back on track. That journal is the first tool to show where it went wrong, IF they were honest with themselves.

We can't be so hard on ourselves and feel we have to be perfect 100% of the time. We're human! But we can learn to use this tool and maximize our benefits and still enjoy great food too. Everything in moderation but you can't do that if you don't hold yourself accountable and if you don't do the things you have to do to stay healthy as WLS patients too.

You can have the best of both worlds but you can't bury your head in the sand unless you want the same results as before surgery. We all know that didn't work for any of us. A few new habits and s great tool (WLS) = long term success!

08/18/2015

Do you taste anything after the first bite? Do you have your fork poised and ready for the next bite and you haven't even finished the bite in your mouth?

Many have become so desensitized to their eating. We talk about amnesia eating a lot. Have you ever had that bowl of popcorn or bag of cookies in front of you and it was full one minute and the next thing you know .... oops, all gone? You remember having one, maybe two, but surely you didn't just eat the whole thing, right?

As children, we're not handed one cookie, we're given one for each hand. We get started on soft drinks or sweet drinks and more. When dining out with parents, kid's menus are so full of poor choices it's no wonder we grow up with bad eating habits. It's engrained in us from the time we get off baby foods and we become cognizant of the ads surrounding us.

Imagine, just imagine, IF ads were as targeted to healthy eating, healthy foods as they are to processed foods, fast food, junk food, candies and more? Wouldn't we grow up with a whole different mindset?

Back to that first bite. We get SO ready for whatever we're hungry for or looking forward to eating. Oh you can just taste it can't you? Mmmmm, that steak cooked perfectly on the grill. Can't you see the grill marks and smell the smoky aroma? You can hear the sizzle. Can't you picture your knife slicing through that buttery tenderness? You see it, cooked to your perfect temperature and it's there.... on your fork .... raising to be eaten. Can you taste it already? Or how about an ice cold, red, ripe watermelon you just cut open? Oh yeah. You know it's so sweet and perfect and you're first bite is going to be right out of the center, the heart of that watermelon. Or maybe it's your favorite seafood .... some crab legs.... all steamy goodness... that isn't right sea brine taste. You can hear it as you snap it and pull out that whole, meaty section of lump crabmeat, all ready for you to enjoy. Or maybe it's some fresh picked corn on the cob and you roasted it... or asparagus or whatever your favorite. You see how our mind aline can control the biggest part of our enjoyment segment of our meal. We shouldn't rush it. We should savor it. We need to savor not only the first bite but every bite after. Why don't we savor the whole meal? Why do we cheat ourselves? Why do we just rush to feel not only full but overfull? Where's the joy in that? MAYBE if we slowed down and paid attention to what we're eating, how it looks, how it tastes, the texture, how we enjoy what we're having ... each bite.... maybe we wouldn't just shovel it in and on. If we take the actual time, instead of rushing, if we chew and taste and appreciate, then not only is it better for our body, it's better for our mind too.

Give it a try. You're going to be surprised what your scale reflects and the difference you feel psychologically.

(Note: Upcoming ... Using your electronics you carry everyday to aid in your weight loss journey)

08/16/2015

So have you ever started a journey and had it come to a screeching halt? I mean you THOUGHT you had everything all planned out and knew where you were headed and then it all changed, not just a little but completely?

Those that knew us way back when our journey began know we were actually preparing to move to Belize to do mission work. Evidently God had other plans for our lives and our mission work!

Dan had a bad, really bad, doctor visit that included the doctor using the words "congestive heart failure" and stopping the exam on the stop and calling a cardiologist. As if that wasn't scary enough, Dan was 49 ... closing in on 50 .... and his Mom had died of congestive heart failure at the young age of 53! Oh yeah, that stopped me in my tracks when I heard that doctor! It was a "don't pass go, don't collect $200" moment, "you're leaving here and going directly to the cardiologist". That began not only the unpacking and cancellation of our mission move but the new journey toward having Roux-en-Y gastric bypass surgery ... both of us ... same day.

We began putting everything in fast forward! Doctors, tests, approval processes, forms, appointments, evaluations. 6 weeks later we were passing each other in the hall on gurneys as he was coming out of surgery and I was going in. We're coming up on the 12 year anniversary (9/30) of that life changing surgery for us! Life saving for Dan! We had surgery when we would've been moving. Funny how God changed those plans and we do firmly believe He had a hand in every step of that. Dan wouldn't be here today if we had gone!

Do we think it was an accident that we got this diagnosis when we did? Absolutely not! We do, 100% believe God had other plans and still wanted us doing mission work, but just in a different way.

So you're thinking, what does weight loss surgery, God and mission work have in common? More than you think.

I/we talk with, text with, email and more with patients and potential patients everywhere we go and all around the world, everyday and you would be surprised how many tell us they too have prayed for answers. Since the very day this began, we began praying for God to lead us, help give us the right answers and lead us to the right information and people so we not only could succeed at this but so we could get the best care and make this work long term. We knew this wasn't some quick fix as so many want to flippantly say it is. Has it been easy for us? We can honestly say it has gone textbook perfect. But we paid attention to the answers we received and the amazing surgeon (Dr Alfredo Fernandez and Martha Rivera-Fernandez). We took the time to learn and then it evolved where we began teaching others. I know God gave us the know how, ability and resources to learn the right ways to do this and we give Him credit for drawing people to us that have wanted to share with us and that to this day ask for our help, support and guidance. We all have similarities in our journeys and we can do specific things that will absolutely make us all long term success stories.

We began with prayer and going to God, we continued with God in our journey and guess what, he's still to this day first and foremost in our lives. Are we long term success stories? You bet! Do we still talk to patients, pre-op, post-op, every stage? You bet! Do we know our surgery was the best we could have because of an amazing surgeon? You bet! Do we still believe God had and has a hand in our success story and the patients we speak with? Absolutely!!! We give thanks every single day for Him changing our plans. We give thanks for Him bringing all of these wonderful people from all over the world into our lives. We love hearing from each of you and we'll answer your questions, talk with you, pray with you, pray for you, guide you, support you, be your friend wherever you are. He has a plan for you too. Trust His plan. We did and the best decision ever was giving it all over to Him to help us decide what was best for us.

How about you? I know you've fought for so many years and yo-yo dieted and lose, gain, lose gain. You aren't alone. You're never alone. I know I've crossed lines here, but it's my belief I'm sharing and I believe, truly believe and I want the same success story for you too.

I'm here to help anyone that wants/needs it, whether it's answering questions, guiding in support or saying prayers, I want to see and hear your long term success story too. I want to see your life blessed as much as ours has been blessed and continues to be blessed. Post .... PM,,, E-Mail... Snail mail ... or see us on the streets or in church.... it's a whole new mission that we love serving. Is it your journey, your success story awaiting ahead? Do you need to get back on track or help someone you love? Everyday is a new chance for success. Everyday is a new day to be blessed. We sure have been!

11/23/2014

With it coming up on holiday time it's really easy to think you can let things slide. You WLS patients know just one bite too much and you'll feel the consequences of that choice. Does it mean you can't enjoy the Thanksgiving dinner ahead? Of course you can enjoy .... but you have to think and plan and be realistic. Remember what got you to the point of needing WLS in the first place. It can sure creep back up and it's not overnight. Does it mean we have to deprive ourselves? No way!

I fully plan on cooking and enjoying a variety of Thanksgiving family favorites but I also know I can't mound them up or graze for days. But, I don't need that either. I'm just as happy with a small taste here and there to satisfy not only my tastebuds but the nostalgia that goes with the holidays. So stop and think about it before the day gets here. Put priority on what your choices will be and add in some walks after those meals or play with the kids or grandkids. Take a bike ride or make time to do something in addition to the feed and nap time. You didn't have surgery and work hard to maintain to let a few weeks derail you.

Enjoy it! Keep that "before" picture handy too. It's the best reminder ever. Remember, that tool, your surgery, is still in place and it's all about how you choose to use that tool that makes the difference in your long term success. I always tell you, it's just like a hammer. You can build something beautiful with it or you can tear down. You control it!