Rachel Hyland, LPC MHSP temp

09/24/2025

Healing doesn’t happen just because our pain disappears.
It happens when we stop repeating the patterns that caused it.

In the face of relational pain, we often fall back on familiar patterns that once felt safe — people-pleasing, avoiding conflict, chasing love where it can’t be found…

The pain we avoid is a signal, not a flaw.
A call to notice. To shift. To choose differently.

Healing is messy. It’s slow.
But every time you break a pattern, even just a little…
That’s healing.

Keep going.

09/18/2025

Therapy story time 🤎

09/14/2025

A fundamental component of connection is to understand and to be understood. When we feel understood, we experience emotional safety.

Feeling misunderstood creates a barrier to connection and becomes a breeding ground for self-doubt and insecurity.

It can trigger a strong drive to correct the narrative through over-explaining, people-pleasing, and even changing our behavior to fit what we think others want from us.

So we bend, adapt, and trade in our authenticity for the sake of maintaining connection.

We silence our voices.

We disconnect from ourselves.

We lose self-trust.

But the truth is: being misunderstood is often unavoidable. And trying to prevent it at all costs can lead to exhaustion, loss of authenticity, and resentment.

Emotional safety begins within—by staying connected to yourself and bringing awareness to your feelings and needs without judgment.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself when you feel misunderstood:

✨ Is being understood more important than being true to yourself?

✨In trying to correct the narrative, are you seeking to be seen/heard—or to control how you’re seen/heard?

✨What might happen if someone misunderstood you, and you let them?

Read that last question again.

There’s courage in letting go of the need to bend yourself into comprehension. Sometimes the most honest thing you can do is stay rooted in who you are—even if that means being misunderstood.

09/01/2025

Learning to tolerate uncomfortable emotions is one of the biggest hurdles in the healing journey. For me, the first step was learning to distinguish an emotion from thought—true story. Then I had to practice sitting with it without changing it, avoiding it, minimizing it, or distracting myself from it. Feeling is a risky, vulnerable thing. Yet, it can be one of the most fruitful things you can do for yourself. Learning to connect deeply with yourself opens the door to deeper connection with others.

Building this capacity takes time and practice. And it's generally a clunky process at first. A gentle beginning is simply naming one feeling or experience you tend to avoid. Notice when it shows up and how you usually disconnect from it (avoiding, minimizing, or distracting). From there, get curious:

⚡️What makes this so hard to be with?
⚡️What might you be trying to protect?

And if it feels possible, try being with it for just for a few seconds at a time. Slowly, little by little, you will expand your tolerance and show your nervous system that it can be safe to stay present with what once felt overwhelming.

08/27/2025

Not all wounds are visible—some live in the way we connect with others.

We don’t just carry memories of past relationships—we carry their impact.

Unmet needs in our early care can leave attachment wounds that echo into adulthood, shaping our relationships with others, ourselves, and even God.

The good news? Wounds can heal. In safe, steady relationships, like in therapy, you can learn to trust again, feel seen, and create new patterns of connection.

✨ You don’t have to carry this alone.

08/23/2025

*NEW BLOG* - The Enduring Olive Tree: Wisdom for Seasons of Hardship
There is something deeply comforting about the resilience of olive trees. They are a quiet reminder that survival is not about avoiding hardship, but about finding ways to grow in the midst of it. Their beauty is not in perfection, but in the way their scars tell the story of endurance.
Click the link below to read more.

There is something deeply comforting about the resilience of olive trees. They are a quiet reminder that survival is not about avoiding hardship, but about finding ways to grow in the midst of it. Their beauty is not in perfection, but in the way their scars tell the story of endurance.

03/06/2025

I recently had the privilege of attending a training on Internal Family Systems (IFS) from a Christian perspective, led by . I walked away with a greater understanding of the healing power of parts work, and to top it off, I received THREE of her incredible books!!

07/29/2024

BACK TO SCHOOL! Those three words can evoke a number of big emotions depending on who you talk to. It’s a time of transition, bidding farewell to the slow, unstructured rhythm of summer and entering into a stringent, daily routine with early bedtimes and even earlier mornings. The end of summer can feel chaotic, exciting, and even melancholy for both students and parents. But what about educators? What does “back to school” elicit for those who make education their livelihood?

Prior to my work as a counselor, I was a teacher for over 20 years. For me, back to school meant returning to a grueling routine that consumed my days and most of my nights. It wasn’t that I didn’t find my career rewarding, because I did. So much of my work as a teacher was satisfying, but starting a new school year brought with it significant anxiety for me. It began with the first sight of school supplies on store shelves in July and continued well into September. I placed expectations on myself to get the ever increasing list of “to-dos” done with a warm, nurturing smile on my face. As the pressure to meet the demands required of me increased, so too did my perfectionism. There was so much to do and so little time to get it done. I often felt overwhelmed, exhausted, powerless, and – dare I say it – resentful at the beginning of each new school year.

Now teachers have the ongoing pressure of closing the social, emotional, and academic learning gaps caused by Covid. And far worse, educators are forced to grapple with the growing number of active shooters in recent years. Teachers are having to take extra precautions within their classrooms to ensure the safety of their students. Scheduled lockdown drills and armed security guards placed at every school have become the norm for students and educators. The uncertainty of what each new school year holds can feel unbearable at times.

If you’re an educator struggling with beginning a new school year and the pressures that await you – you are not alone. Your feelings are valid. The work you do is valued and sorely needed. But to properly care for and educate your students, you must be mindful to care for yourself. As the saying goes, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Someone once described self care as soul-care. Tending to what restores and rejuvenates your soul can serve to refill your empty cup. Here are a few simple tips to incorporate self care into your weekly routine when work life stress and anxiety begin to creep in.

A HEALTHY WORK LIFE BALANCE
A healthy work life balance begins by setting clear boundaries between work and your personal life.
-Leave work at work so that you can allow more time for relaxation and quality time with loved ones at home. -Disable notifications on work email and texting apps to help you stay present with family and friends outside of work.
-If you do happen to read any communication from work, fight the urge to respond during your personal time. Your response can wait until you're back at work.
-Just say “no” to working over the weekend. Your weekends are your time for you to rest and recharge for the week ahead. Your to-do list can wait until Monday.
Setting boundaries communicates to yourself and others that your personal time is meant for YOU!

INTENTIONALLY PLAN YOUR PERSONAL TIME
It is so tempting to binge-watch Netflix or mindlessly scroll through social media after a long, tiring day. But screen time is rarely as rejuvenating as we’d like it to be. Intentionally prioritizing the way you connect with yourself and others during your personal time is key to your overall physical and mental well-being. Free time activities don't have to be a huge time commitment. Here are a few ways you can intentionally plan your personal time.
-Exercise - Thirty minutes of exercise several times a week can significantly improve your mental well-being. Meet a friend for a 30 minute walk or attend a group fitness class after work. Chances are you’ll feel better and sleep better too. Win-win!
-Meditate - Meditation is just a fancy word for sitting quietly and observing your thoughts and feelings without judgment. You can do this in a number of ways. Find a quiet place to sit. Try focusing on slow, even inhalations and exhalations while mentally scanning your body for parts that feel tight or tense. Meditate several times throughout the week to bring greater awareness to mind, body, and emotions.
-Journal - This one pairs well with meditation. Take notice of the thoughts and feelings that come up while meditating. Then process your thoughts and feelings by writing them down. Journaling gives expression to your feelings and can help break the cycle of unhelpful thoughts that plague you throughout your workday.
-Spend time in nature - Being in nature has several mental benefits and can improve your mood and emotional well-being. So go for a hike, eat your lunch outside, or simply sit on your patio after work. Restore your soul outside in the natural world.
-Pursue hobbies you enjoy - The list is endless here! Meeting a friend for dinner, booking an upcoming painting class, or taking dance lessons can give you something to look forward to and will shift your focus away from the stresses of work.

SEEK A PROFESSIONAL COUNSELOR
Sometimes, despite our most valiant efforts, work life stress can take its toll on our mental and emotional health. If the stress and anxiety of a new school year continues to be overwhelming or unmanageable after your new routine has been established, you may want to consider seeking professional help from a counselor. Processing your thoughts and emotions can help you make sense of your problems. You and your counselor can work together to help you gain insight and better cope with the anxiety brought on by the stress of work.

Because, you AND your students need your cup to be full.

02/26/2024

Grief is more than the intense sadness we feel over the loss of a loved one. Grief is a pathway to acceptance of the people and things we’ve lost and can never get back. Grief can look like...

-the death of a loved one
-the death of a dream
-the loss of a relationship
-lost time
-the choices we wish we hadn’t made
-the choices we wish we had made
-the loss of your health
-the loss of the way things used to be
-and so much more

Sometimes we grieve the things we should have received but didn’t or the things that should have happened but never did.

Grief, like many things, is a process. When the loss feels overwhelmingly difficult to comprehend or accept, anger often swoops in to protect us from the devastation. Anger feels powerful and productive. It gives us the illusion of control over our circumstances and provides temporary structure to the nothingness of loss.

Grief comes for us all in some way or form. When it comes, allow yourself to feel the loss, whether it’s sadness, irritability, or anger. Recognize the feelings and label them. Give yourself an outlet to express the emotions through art, journaling, poetry, or other non-verbal forms of expression. And If needed, seek a therapist to help you navigate the complexities of grief.

12/09/2023

Healthy boundaries are essential for healthy connections. They help you connect to yourself so that you can connect better with others.

11/29/2023

We all have parts of ourselves that we want to hide from others. Oftentimes we’ve worn our masks for so long we don’t even recognize we’re hiding behind anything. We just assume our mask is “who we are.”

But what if it’s not who you REALLY are?

What if it's a facade you hide behind to feel acceptable to and validated by others? What would it mean for you to be able to take your mask off and still be accepted by your friends, family, coworkers, acquaintances…as you truly are?

-messy
-silly
-insecure
-lovable
-angry
-sad
-afraid of being seen and rejected
-human

We all wear masks from time to time. The first step in removing your mask is recognizing when you’re wearing it. Then be kind to yourself as you bring awareness to the purpose it serves.

11/18/2023

Self-awareness involves being mindful of your thoughts, feelings, patterns, and physical sensations in the present moment. Begin to notice what is going on with you internally (physically, mentally, and emotionally) with an open and non-judgmental attitude. Becoming curious about the different parts of yourself without fearing, judging, or running away from them is the first step to healing yourself.

Ask yourself the following questions.
1. What am I feeling right now?
2. Where in my body do I feel these emotions?
3. What are my thoughts associated with these feelings?
4. Does this feel familiar?
5. Have I seen myself play out this pattern in different ways?
6. What might I need to feel more calm and connected?
7. What do I want?

When you asked yourself these questions, did anything come up that you were afraid to process? That’s okay. Be gentle with yourself. Take all the time you need to process what you are becoming aware of.