10/26/2024
Jon,
First and foremost, I love and miss you with all my heart every day.
Today I woke up with a heavy heart. I felt guilty because I hadn't planned something special for your 10 year anniversary. But let's be honest, what mom really wants to celebrate the day she lost one of her beloved sons! π I yelled, I cried & then I made a simple plan. To stay busy & not dwell on what happened that day, 10 years ago. Instead, to remember you!! Who you were; funny, loving, caring, kind, accepting. What you liked; baseball, pizza, making people laugh, kids. And kids loved you!
I wish Knox had gotten to know you & you him. We went to his baseball game this morning. Let me tell you, that boy's a natural. You'd be impressed, and so full of pride, watching him play.
After Knox's baseball game, we went & watched Brandt walk the sideline of his football game. Long story there, lol.
Then, in memory of you, we went for pizza! Barro's white pizza, yummy. Later tonight, Jim & I will be releasing a balloon for you, so watch for it. π
I have to admit, son, when I lost you, I thought I'd never survive a year, 5 years... much less 10 years... with the pain. But our God really is an Awesome God. He surrounded me with family & friends that loved me to hold me up, care for me, pray for me, cry with me, and, sometimes, just quietly let me mourn your absence.
He sent a special friend, Renee, who shared a similar loss. Her son, Chase, had been gone about 5 yrs at the time. She shared her story & it gave me hope to see that she was okay. To see that she could talk about Chase without crying. That she could find happiness & be content in her memories of him.
Through God's love and with time, I learned to suppress the pain, making it possible to live with it. Now, I, too, can talk about you & Adam without crying. I can find happiness & contentment in my memories of you both. I still miss you both & sometimes cry over the "what could've beens," but try to focus on the day we're all together again.
None of us here really knows how this afterlife thing works so, if you & Adam are hangin' out together & GG's somewhere close by, please hug each other for me & I'll see y'all in the blink of an eye. β€οΈ Still lovin' all of you to the moon & back!!
~Mom