Before the Sun Sets, LLC

04/05/2024

Did you know that I can now provide individual and couples therapy to folks in both Maine & Florida?

Small businesses like me grow with help from people like you! Please help me grow by sharing this post if you know friends or family in Maine or Florida! 🌱⭐️

& follow along at .with.dominique on Instagram

04/04/2024

Happy Couple Retreats are designed for couples who view their relationship as generally positive and are committed to making their marriage work. These couples have a solid relationship and are craving intentional time to connect with their spouse while making new memories. Happy Couple Retreats are great for couples looking for maybe a small tune-up in one area or to work through the normal challenges that arise during parenting but are also looking to focus on how to take their already happy relationship and make it even better!

These 2-night/3-day retreats are designed for relaxation, connection, pampering, and to increase a sense of intimacy within your relationship. Each retreat is set up to include a 75-minute assessment on the night you arrive with Dominique, followed by a romantic dinner for the two of you, two 60-minute sessions on Saturday with Dominique; (1) held while you enjoy a beautiful VT “picnic-style” breakfast and (1) held mid-afternoon, and then a 60-minute session to close out your weekend before you depart on Sunday. The hope is that couples will be able to focus on their relationship, learn new skills with sessions to apply to their relationships, enjoy time reconnecting, dreaming together, exploring each other, and just being connected.

In between your sessions, Dominique will be your very own Vermont concierge who will create a special plan for you and your spouse so you can tour around Stowe with the confidence that your only task is to connect with each other! Dominique’s knowledge of the Stowe area from growing up in Vermont and her love for all things Vermont will hopefully also be a fun perk to your time away! From hiking, biking, skiing, and spa experiences, to the wonderful local food, craft beer scene, mouthwatering cheeses, all things maples…the options are endless. There is truly something for everyone in Stowe and Dominique would love to help you explore it!

04/04/2024

NEW OFFERING! ⭐️

Register NOW! 🌱

Come to the workshop so you can:
❤️ Strengthen your friendship!
❤️ Learn why nurturing fondness and admiration is vitally important and how it’s possible to rekindle
❤️ Learn how to notice your partner doing things right, instead of highlighting the things they are doing wrong
❤️ Learn how to accommodate each other’s needs without sacrificing your own while finding common ground
❤️ Learn how to find solutions to those “everyday” problems that couples fight over
❤️ Learn how to connect on a deeper level where you and your partner talk about more than just “the same old thing”
❤️ Learn how to create shared meaning while setting goals together to help each person’s dreams come true
❤️ Learn about The Four Horsemen and how to overcome them

04/03/2024

The Postpartum Stress Center

04/03/2024

04/03/2024

As a couples therapist, I will always recommend anything created by Drs. John & Julie Gottman! So don’t walk…RUN and grab this new book!

Don’t like to read? Don’t have time? Buy it on and listen along!

Purchase Fight Right : https://www.gottman.com/product/fight-right/

04/03/2024

Yes, it is a common misconception that postpartum depression only affects mothers.

This misconception not only makes it very challenging for new Dads to speak up when they are experiencing symptoms, but it can also be hard for Dads to even identify what is going on enough to link it to PPD or PPA due to the lack of education provided to the non-birthing parent. Think back, did your partner ever receive information about what they might experience after your baby was born? Sadly, most often the answer is no.

In reality, both mothers and fathers can experience postpartum depression or anxiety.

Studies have shown that up to 1 in 5 new moms and 1 in 10 new dads experience postpartum depression or anxiety.

It’s important to recognize that postpartum mental health issues can affect all parents and seeking help is crucial for their well-being and the well-being of their family.

Let’s raise awareness about postpartum mental health and support all parents in their journey to mental wellness.

04/03/2024

Choosing the right therapist for you is the most important part of therapy and a good way to do this is through an initial consult!

During an initial consult, the therapist learns a bit about you, why you are interested in starting therapy and what goals you are hoping to work on in therapy. The therapist will also share with you their credentials (what license they hold, if they are under supervision, how long they’ve practiced, what states they hold licenses in, etc.) what you can expect from them, how they practice and the nuts and bolts of how their private practice works.

If you are thinking this sounds like an interview, well, it kind of is! For both the client and therapist.

Finding the right fit can truly make a difference and it is important that when you get off the phone with the therapist you plan to work with that you feel a sense of safety, trust and comfort. You should feel heard and validated and you might even feel a bit more hopeful about what progress might lie ahead.

At the end of the call, I always make sure to let clients know if what they are looking for is within my scope and what I focus my clinical work around and then together, we determine if we are a good fit.

If we decide we are a good fit, we then proceed with booking your first appointment though my EMR (I use Simple Practice) and you get started on completing all necessary paperwork for us to start our work together within the patient portal. It is that easy!

What if we determine we aren’t a good fit? Does this hurt your feelings? No! What actually would hurt my feelings is working with someone who doesn’t feel we are a good fit! Your comfort matters!

What I also always tell folks during initial calls is that just like no two therapists are alike, no two people are alike and that is why we are so lucky to have so many talented clinicians to help clients with all different needs.

So if that means deciding to work with me, welcome! I can’t wait for us to get started!

But if that means me helping you find another therapist to work with… also great and I’m grateful to know many so I’m happy to point you in a few directions for you to continue your search! 🔍

04/03/2024

It’s okay if you…

03/29/2024

Drs. John and Julie Gottman talk often about this idea. The Gottman’s have found through years of research and practice in working with couples all over the world, that not only does looking for the good boost each partners overall fondness and admiration for each other, but it also allows both partners to positively reflect on their relationship (positive perspective) vs. moving in a space where one or both partners might start to reflect negatively on their relationship (negative perspective) and in serious cases, start to pull away from their relationship. 😕

One way you can practice increasing fondness and admiration within your relationship is by starting to tell your partner the good you see them doing instead of always reminding them of the bad. 😍

Think about it, do you walk with a little more pep in your step when your partner comments on the good they see you doing? Or they say thank you for something you did to make their life a bit easier? Or they tell you how important you made them feel by doing ____? 🤗

Most of the time, couples have a hard time recalling positive comments, due to falling into a more negative perspective of their relationship or getting into such a routine that they stop noticing and/or appreciating all the things their partner does due to just expecting these things to be done. Both in which causes couples to miss the opportunity to move back in a positive perspective. 🌪️

In addition to the obvious challenges lingering in the negative perspective can cause, it could also start to create your partner to turn away from bids for connection causing unmet needs and increased overall dissatisfaction within your relationship.⚡️

So, the next time your partner does something good, try to comment on it and see what happens. It might just help your relationship more than you think. 💭

To learn more about the positive perspective, check out this article:
https://www.gottman.com/blog/3-ways-to-keep-your-relationship-in-the-positive-perspective/

&& of course, continue to follow along for more content like this! ❤️

03/29/2024

Mama, I give you permission to…

• set boundaries with energy suckers
• increase time with energy givers
• release the mom guilt
• find the middle path (this AND that vs this OR that)
• think about your time differently and how you want to use it
• not get to every task on their to-do list
• nurse to sleep
• co-sleep
• sleep train
• contact nap
• breastfeed as long as you want, regardless of how others react
• change your change mind
• use a sleep coach
• not to breastfeed at all
• make all your own baby food
• feed your kids fast food
• have a home birth
• leave the overflowing laundry
• put your readiness first in allowing visitors and allowing family and friends to hold your baby
• let go of parts of yourself that no longer serve you
• reframe your expectations of self
• admit you don’t like breastfeeding
• have a medicated birth
• not feel the pressure of having s*x after your 6 week postpartum visit, even though you were cleared to
• embrace the rebirth of some of your relationships and grieve the unexpected changes or endings of others
• to hire a doula
• change career paths
• grieve parts of yourselves that have changed and parts of themselves that have been birthed
• request a referral to see a pelvic floor therapist to help you REALLY understand what is going on
• not have a birth plan
• create and embrace a new you, unapologetically
• reassess your values and goals and empower you to define them in whatever ways feels best for you
• choose to raise your children YOUR WAY & not the way others want you to
• to admit you hate being pregnant
• use screen time, if you want to, regardless of others opinions
• prioritize your self and your needs
• grieve your expectations of what motherhood was going to look like
• forgive yourself on the days you show up as a version of yourself you don’t love
• to have a non-medicated birth
• celebrate yourself on the days you shine extra bright and feel like you’ve knocked it out of the park
• be selfish
• explore your new body and find ways to honor and accept the evolution of it

Virtual permission slips are endless. Take what you need. All of us are in similar boats, but different streams. I see you.

03/26/2024

When our loved one is diagnosed with a terminal illness or has a worsening neurological disorder, often the last thing we think about is pulling out our camera. ❤️

Though sometimes, these small moments mean the most when our loved one is gone. ❤️

Whether it is a video or a voice recording, it could be another thing to help bring you comfort as you learn to live your life without your loved one. ❤️

At times, this can also be helpful for your loved one as well if they are worried about being forgotten or if they are also looking for a way to leave something physically behind for a loved one. ❤️

Sometimes a video or recording might feel like too much for our loved one. Respecting our loved one and their boundaries is essential, especially during a time where they often feel like they’ve lost a lot of control. Meet your loved one where they are at and ask them if a picture might feel more comfortable for them or if another day might be a better time for a recording. ❤️

Feeling like you might not be able to listen to it for quite some time? Have it downloaded off your phone and store it somewhere so when/if you become ready, you can access it. ❤️

03/23/2024

As the seasons change, we can easily be reminded of our grief and our loved one not being here.

Seasons remind us of passing time, traditions and memories.

Seasons remind us of transitions, letting go, shoulda been or never was.

Seasons remind us of the ending of one chapter and the start of a next and the many feelings that can arise acknowledging and accepting that our loved one won’t be able to be here, next to us, during it.

Though we know that time goes on, we also know that our grief changes, but it never truly disappears.

When working with clients as their grief counselor, we often brainstorm ways that they can honor and remember their loved one. Above is one of my favorite ways of honoring a loved one that I learned about once in the many grief trainings I’ve completed.

I also think this could be especially beautiful as a way to greet the start of spring, for the upcoming Easter holiday (if celebrated) and/or Mother’s Day, which can often be a hard holiday for many.

Check back for more posts about moving through the waves of grief, caregiver support and burnout.

03/22/2024

In a world where everyone tells Mom’s how they should feel, I make it my job to create a space where you can express all your feelings, without judgement.

A space where feelings don’t need to be labeled good or bad, but instead a place that they can just exist and be explored.

A space where you are challenged, but supported. Cared for, but kept safe. Listened to, but validated. Seen, yet heard.

A space where you can show up with your baby, your new postpartum body that you are still learning and maybe seeing for the first time or the spit up you haven’t quite noticed on the top corner of your shirt.

A space where you can come for support when you feel like you are alone in a kayak on an open river, without a life jacket and you look down to notice there is a hole in your boat and you are about to sink.

A space where sweatpants, snacks and coffee are welcome and the freshly pulled together Mom bun with clean fresh hair and freshly done makeup is never encouraged or required (unless YOU want it).

A space where your decisions around feeding YOUR baby are honored and “breast is best” or “formula is best” are ignored and “fed is best” is embraced.

A space where you can come and express the scary thoughts, the big emotions, the anxious thoughts and the overflowing mental load.

A space you can come as you prepare to enter the fertility clinic for the first time or the space you enter to start planning for postpartum.

A space where you are offered an ala carte menu of tools and interventions that we can use to support YOU.

A space where you can cry, laugh, scream and be silent and all are honored and held.

A space where you can solely focus on you and you don’t have to ask or save space for me.

A space that is yours on the dark days and the bright days.

A space for you on the days you love being a Mom, the days you hate being a Mom and a space for the Mom’s that have realized they don’t really love being a Mom at all.

All versions of yourself are okay here.

Let’s work on patching the boat together.

03/21/2024

When I meet with clients, we tend to talk about ALL things relationships. The good, the bad, the ugly, the sad, the messy, the beautiful, the confusing, the unexpected.

I work with individuals and couples around some topics including:

❤️ Finding love & navigating the dating world
❤️ Building love maps & stronger bonds
❤️ Identifying the Four Horsemen and their antidotes
❤️ Enhancing communication
❤️ Helping couples develop effective strategies when one or both partners are living with a diagnosis of ADHD
❤️ Learning new strategies to work through conflict effectively
❤️ Building fondness and admiration
❤️ Grief & loss
❤️ Understanding your partners emotional needs while gaining a better understanding around attachment
❤️And much more!

As Dr. Sue Johnson, an accomplished researcher, author and pioneer of EFT said in a recent training I attended by her, my goal is to help clients “process” what is going on, not “solve” what is going on. Though, my hope that by helping individuals and couples process what is happening within their relationship, they can work together to intentionally find a solution that works best for them.

As a therapist, I use the Gottman Method and I have been trained in Level 1 & Level 2. I have also completed trainings in emotionally focused therapy (EFT), trainings on supporting couples where one or both partners have ADHD, as well as trainings through Postpartum Support International (PSI) and The Postpartum Stress Center.

03/21/2024

So often when talking to prospective clients, they are most worried about sitting in a session with a therapist that looks like the ones they see on TV. You know, the very stereotypical therapist, in a very sterile room, in a three-piece suit, who almost strictly takes notes and is some times hard to read. Though, I strongly believe that all therapy has a place, for me, this isn’t how I practice.

In therapy, I believe there is a time for silence and a time for reflection, but I also believe there is a time for humor, laughter, and connection.

When clients come to see me, I want them to feel comfortable, seen and heard. And most importantly, that they are in a non-judgmental space where they can be unapologetically themselves as they work through challenges most important to them.

So come as you are. You are enough. In therapy, you can be just you and I will be me…your therapist, who will have a smile for you, who will welcome you to show up as YOU and hey, we might even share a laugh or two as we help you get to where you want to go.

02/21/2024

A little something for the Mama’s!