Dr. Jon Dabach

Dr. Jon Dabach Jon Dabach, PhD | Couples Counselor
Relationship Coach
3000+ marriages saved
Become the spouse you want to be

04/22/2026

If you’ve ever felt confused, hurt, or stuck in a relationship pattern you can’t seem to fix, you’re not crazy and you’re definitely not the only one. Most relationship problems aren’t caused by one big mistake. They come from patterns that repeat over and over again until both people feel exhausted, misunderstood, and alone.

My goal is to help people understand the psychology behind these dynamics so they can stop blaming themselves and start making healthier decisions in love. When you understand what’s really happening underneath the conflict, everything starts to look different.

If you’re struggling in your relationship, I work with individuals and couples in every state and around the world through private sessions. I do not accept insurance. You can call my office or book an appointment using the links in my bio.

04/20/2026

12 green flags you’re with the right one.

If you only check half, that’s still okay. But if someone checks most of these, don’t take it for granted. Protect it.

Twelve. Your body relaxes when they walk in the room.

Eleven. You bring up hard things without fear of it becoming a fight.

Ten. When they mess up, they own it. No blaming. No games.

Nine. You feel heard. Truly understood.

Eight. You laugh together a lot. Even at the small stuff.

Seven. They want you to grow into your best self.

Six. You disagree and still feel safe. No eggshells.

Five. They’re kind about you when you’re not in the room.

Four. You share core values. Chemistry fades. Values last.

Three. They show up consistently. Even on a random Tuesday.

Two. After a fight you repair. You don’t let resentment build.

One. You can be fully yourself. The real unfiltered version. And they love that.

Post your score. And if you’ve got someone who checks most of these, hold on tight.

Comment “RISK” and I’ll send you a free relationship assessment to see where your connection really stands.

[relationship advice, emotional connection, intimacy in marriage, communication in relationships, marriage coach, relationship healing, rekindling desire, building emotional connection]


04/19/2026

Start by showing up first.

She’s right about raising your standards. I just wish she said it in reverse order. Because the first move isn’t walking away from people. It’s modeling the behavior you want from your circle.

If you feel confused. If people aren’t showing up for you the way you want them to. Start by showing up for them. Fully. Consistently. Without keeping score.

Then watch closely.

If they don’t reciprocate. If they don’t appreciate it. If they can’t express how they feel about you in a way that makes you feel welcomed. Then you have your answer.

Don’t waste your time with them anymore.

That’s the real message. Give people the chance to meet you at your standard. And when they don’t, stop pretending they will.

Comment “RISK” and I’ll send you a free relationship assessment to see where your connections really stand.

[relationship advice, emotional connection, intimacy in marriage, communication in relationships, marriage coach, relationship healing, rekindling desire, building emotional connection]




04/18/2026

They don’t want to be alone.👆🏻

Some people learned early that feelings weren’t safe.
Their parents either ignored the hard stuff or emotions caused total chaos at home.
So the brain figured it out.

Handle everything yourself.

They built a whole life around not needing anyone.
And honestly? It worked.
Until they fell in love.

Now when things get close they shut down.
They stonewall.
They disappear.

Their body still thinks closeness is dangerous.

But I’ve seen these people learn one thing that changes everything.
I can need someone without losing myself.
It takes patience.
It takes a lot of care.
But avoidant attachment can become secure attachment.
I’ve watched it happen over and over.

Comment RISK to take a free relationship assessment and find out your attachment style.

[relationship advice, emotional connection, intimacy in marriage, marriage coach, rekindling desire, relationship healing, communication in relationships]


04/17/2026

Seven moments predict divorce. Most couples miss all seven.

None of these feel like a big deal when they start. They sneak in slowly. Until one day you think this is just what marriage feels like.

One. Emotional withdrawal. One partner quietly shuts down.

Two. Failed repair attempts. Apologies and humor stop landing. Nothing breaks the tension anymore.

Three. Chronic negativity. Everything they do gets filtered through a negative lens.

Four. Loss of curiosity. You stop asking about each other’s world. You stop wondering what they’re thinking.

Five. Parallel living. Same house. Separate lives.

Six. Touch disappears. The small stuff. Hand on the back. Kiss goodbye. All gone.

Seven. Silent treatment. Unspoken anger becomes the air you breathe.

The wildest part. By the time you notice even one of these, you’ve usually been living with it for months.

How many are showing up in your relationship right now?

Comment “RISK” and I’ll send you a 5 minute assessment that tells you exactly how likely separation is.

[relationship advice, emotional connection, intimacy in marriage, communication in relationships, marriage coach, relationship healing, rekindling desire, building emotional connection]


04/16/2026

They’re part of who you are.

When someone is so woven into your identity that even a stranger could paint your picture and they’d be standing right there in it. That’s not codependency. That’s a bond most people spend their whole lives hoping for.

Knowing your person that deeply. Carrying them with you not because you have to but because they’ve become part of how you see the world. That’s a gift most people don’t stop long enough to appreciate.

Don’t take that for granted. Not everyone gets someone who becomes part of their story like that. And if you have it, cherish it loudly.

Comment “RISK” and I’ll send you a free relationship assessment to see where your connection really stands.

[relationship advice, emotional connection, intimacy in marriage, communication in relationships, marriage coach, relationship healing, rekindling desire, building emotional connection]




04/15/2026

You won the argument. Now what.

You got the last word. Raised your voice. Refused to back down until they admitted you were right. You won. But what did you actually win. Distance. Silence. That weird tension where you’re in the same room and nobody knows how to act.

Every time you go for the win, your partner’s brain registers one message. You care more about being right than you care about them. And once that lands enough times, something shifts. They stop coming to you. Stop being open. Stop believing their feelings are safe with you.

Nobody has ever felt closer to someone who needed to defeat them in a conversation.

And if you’re thinking “if I don’t stand my ground I’ll get walked all over.” You already have a voice. Chasing the win is what eroded the trust.

Next time you feel that urge, pause. Ask yourself what you actually want. Because what you want is to feel heard. And you will never get there by making the other person feel like they lost.

Comment “RISK” and I’ll send you a free relationship assessment to see where your connection really stands.

[relationship advice, emotional connection, intimacy in marriage, communication in relationships, marriage coach, relationship healing, rekindling desire, building emotional connection]


04/13/2026

Notice her before she asks.

Six ways to build a connection where she stops comparing you to anyone. Because there’s no comparison left.

Six. Don’t wait for her to say she’s overwhelmed. If you can see it, say it. “I can tell today was a lot.” That alone makes her feel less alone.

Five. Put your phone all the way down when she’s talking. Not halfway. Not while scrolling. To you it’s nothing. To her it feels like she doesn’t matter.

Four. Be consistent with affection. Don’t only touch her when you want s*x. Kiss her before work. Hug her in the kitchen. Reach for her hand in the car. Let it show up randomly. Not just late at night.

Three. Speak about her with respect when she’s not around. No jokes at her expense. She may not hear it. But she will feel it.

Two. Don’t dismiss what feels big to her. It might seem small to you. Doesn’t matter. If it’s hitting her nervous system it’s real. Say “you’re overreacting” enough times and she’ll stop coming to you entirely.

One. Reassure her without being asked. Tell her you love her. Tell her you’re not going anywhere. Because by the time she asks, that question has been building for a while. Don’t make her drag it out of you. Give it freely.

Comment “RISK” and I’ll send you a free relationship assessment to see where your connection really stands.

[relationship advice, emotional connection, intimacy in marriage, communication in relationships, marriage coach, relationship healing, rekindling desire, building emotional connection]


04/11/2026

She didn’t fall out of love. She lost her sense of safety.

Research keeps showing the same pattern. A woman loses her feeling of safety long before she ever loses her feelings. And here’s what that looks like.

Every time she came to you with something on her heart and you brushed it off. Got defensive. Changed the subject. One time is fine. Nobody’s perfect. But when it happens over and over, her brain learns that coming to you costs more than staying quiet.

So she stops. Stops bringing things up. Stops fighting for it. And most guys hear that silence and think things are better now.

They’re not. When a woman goes quiet in a relationship she’s already grieving the connection while she’s still sitting right next to you. That kind of loneliness hits harder than being alone.

She wanted you. She remembers the version of you that showed up at the beginning. And she kept waiting for him to come back.

If she stopped arguing. Stopped asking. Stopped reaching for you. She’s running out of reasons to keep trying.

Start paying attention. When she pulls away at dinner. Stops telling you about her day. Rolls over at night without a word. Those tiny moments are where you either rebuild this thing or lose her for good.

Comment “RISK” and I’ll send you a free relationship assessment to see where your connection really stands before it’s too late.

[relationship advice, emotional connection, intimacy in marriage, communication in relationships, marriage coach, relationship healing, rekindling desire, building emotional connection]


04/10/2026

Shame around attraction ruins marriages.

Liking who you like doesn’t need a diagnosis. And some of the biggest damage I’ve seen in relationships starts right here. With people being told what they’re supposed to find attractive.

One. I’ve sat with couples where the guy married who he thought he was supposed to be with. Because his friends, family, or social media told him what attractive looks like. Ten years in. No passion. No spark. Two people going through the motions.

Two. When you shame someone’s attraction you’re telling them to settle for someone they don’t actually want. That’s how two people end up miserable in the same house.

Three. The happiest couples I’ve worked with. The guy chose her because he genuinely wanted her. Period. And she never had to wonder about it. Not once.

Every woman deserves someone who brags about her loudly. And he shouldn’t need anyone’s permission to do it.

Comment “RISK” and I’ll send you a free relationship assessment to see where your connection really stands.

[relationship advice, emotional connection, intimacy in marriage, communication in relationships, marriage coach, relationship healing, rekindling desire, building emotional connection]
luna.lasagna


04/09/2026

Know these by month six.

After working with over 3,000 couples I can tell you these are the things people wish they noticed during the honeymoon phase. If you’re past six months, these still apply. You can start paying attention right now.

One. How you feel about yourself around them. Do you feel lighter. More confident. More like the version of you that you actually like. That feeling tells you more about your future than almost anything else.

Two. Whether they’re curious about your inner world. Do they ask what scares you. What you dream about. How you think. That curiosity is one of the biggest predictors of long term connection.

Three. How they treat you when they’re stressed, tired, or overwhelmed. You’re going to see that version of them a lot over the years. And that version still needs to treat you with kindness.

Four. How they respond when you set a boundary. Do they respect it. Guilt trip you. Or quietly push past it anyway.

Five. Whether they show up on a random Tuesday when nothing is exciting and no one is watching. Consistency builds trust. And you can see that pattern clearly by month six.

Six. How they handle disagreements. Because how someone fights with you at six months is a preview of how they’ll fight with you at six years.

Comment “RISK” and I’ll send you a free relationship assessment to see where your connection really stands.

[relationship advice, emotional connection, intimacy in marriage, communication in relationships, marriage coach, relationship healing, rekindling desire, building emotional connection]


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23901 Calabasas Road, Ste 1078
Calabasas, CA
91302

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