Cici Christian Counseling

07/23/2025

We will be offering this class online as well. Please sign up with the link below.

Our next GriefShare class begins on August 5th. For more details or to register, visit this link: https://forms.gle/3PtKpLkuC5j5nKJt5

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07/04/2025

https://www.beliefnet.com/love-family/relationships/marriage/is-ephesians-426-the-perfect-advice-for-marriage.aspx

If you decide to make up before bed or discuss things first thing in the morning, what matters most is that you don’t let angry moments or conflict steal the joy and connection from your union.

06/24/2025

Our next GriefShare class begins on August 5th. For more details or to register, visit this link: https://forms.gle/3PtKpLkuC5j5nKJt5

Please share!

06/16/2025

Perfect read this summer.

Helping kids with their emotions can seem like a daunting task for many parents. These 5 simple ways can make it seem easier.

06/04/2025

Please join us for our “Loss of a Spouse” Event on July 29th at 5:30 central time. We will be hosting online or in-person Please use the link below to sign up.

Our next Loss of a Spouse seminar is less than two months away. For more details or to register, please visit this link: https://forms.gle/JWn9S5eriW2v1pPc9

05/26/2025

Prayers to Enhance Unity in Your Marriage
Jenny Nanninga

It can be difficult to foster a connection with your spouse. Jobs and responsibilities continually pull you in different directions, so how can you pursue unity in your marriage?
After my first daughter was born, I stayed home with her while my husband left for work. I often felt lonely, so one day, on a whim, I pulled a leather journal off my husband’s nightstand and wrote out a prayer for him.
Praying for my husband took the focus off myself and made me feel closer to him.

One purpose of prayer is to unite us to Christ, but if applied to our marriages, it can also increase our unity with our spouse. “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work” (2 Timothy 3:16-17, NIV), and this means that scripture can give us wisdom and guidance for our marriages.
The power of praying scripture over our marriages is something all couples should tap into.
Here are six prayers couples can use to anchor their hearts in wisdom as they allow scripture to lead them in strengthening their relationship.

Prayer of Gratitude
Thanking God for your many blessings, either as a couple or separately, can enhance your outlook on life. Gratitude always puts a positive spin on circumstances. Start by thanking God for your spouse, then thank Him for specific aspects of your spouse, and move towards thanking God for certain aspects of your marriage.
Lord, thank You for the gift of marriage (list at least one specific blessing). Thank You for my spouse and the ways that You have designed them and gifted them (list one specific attribute). Thank You for the way that we ____________ so well.

Prayer of Submission
Express your willingness to live according to God’s plan and commands for your life in general and in your marriage roles. When we are willing to live according to God’s plan, our days are smoother, which isn’t there when we fight against His design.

By praying for a spirit of submission with your spouse, you will be creating a posture of humility in your marriage, as 1 Peter 4:6 (NIV) commands. And that opens doors for communication and communion.
God, I acknowledge that You are Lord over all, including my marriage. I give my marriage to You. I am willing to lay down my preferences and allow Your will to be done in my marriage. Show me how I should treat my spouse.

Prayer of Unity
Since God is the Creator of marriage, He cares deeply about it. He invented the concept of two becoming one and will help you in this process. Make it a point to pray for the unity of your marriage.
Philippians 2:2 (NIV) says, “Then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.”

Father, I know that You desire unity in marriage. I pray You would join my heart, mind and soul first to You and then to my spouse. Create a peaceful and connected relationship between us.

Prayer of Love
God’s Word has a lot to say about love. Pray 1 Corinthians 13 over your marriage. If you pray together, take turns listing the attributes of love as you pray.
Lord, You are the essence of love and the Creator of love. You can teach me to love. You loved us while we were still sinners. Help me to love my spouse despite their flaws and failings. Give me your type of love for my spouse.

Prayer of Purpose
Throughout the Bible, families are used for many different purposes, from building walls, bearing children who will make an impact, training future disciples, and even hosting church meetings.
God has a purpose for couples. Pray for God’s purposes so that your marriage can be revealed and reached. Praying for this is a reminder that you and your spouse are a team who can impact the kingdom together.
Ephesians 2:10 (NIV) tells us, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
God, You don’t do anything accidentally. You had a plan for my marriage before I did. Show me what purpose You have for my spouse and me, and help us to work together to accomplish Your kingdom’s purposes.

Prayer of Hope
No marriage is perfect, and trials will come and go, but God is a God of redemption. That means there is always hope. Pray for your future with hope. Express your trust in the Lord and your belief that your connection in marriage will improve.
This positive outlook is bound to strengthen your connection.
According to Hebrews 6:19-20 (NIV), “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where our forerunner, Jesus, has entered on our behalf.”
Jesus, even when I doubt and worry, I believe that You are working all things for good. My hope is in You. Please bless my marriage, grow my marriage, and redeem my marriage. I will look forward to the fruit that a marriage rooted in You can produce.

Prayer Changes Everything
The benefits of these prayers are exponential. They help you develop a tighter bond with your spouse and a stronger connection with the Lord.
Beyond that, they also impact your life through the power of the prayers themselves. Write down prayers on note cards, choose a specific time for prayer, or meditate on these prayers throughout your days.
As you intentionally posture your heart toward the Lord and toward your spouse, I know you will see growth day by day.
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05/05/2025

Are you struggling? There is someone greater!

Someone Greater

There’s a battle happening all around us—a battle for your heart, your mind, and your soul. A battle that’s not only physical, but also spiritual. A battle with literal enemies who impact the seen and unseen world.

John wrote:

“But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world.”
‭‭1 John‬ ‭4‬:‭4‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Yes, we are in a real battle.
Yes, we have a real enemy.
Yes, the kingdom of darkness is constantly fighting against the kingdom of light.

But for those who are trusting in the finished work of Christ, greater is the One living inside of us than the one who is living in this world.

We have a real Savior.
This story isn’t close to over.
The kingdom of darkness will never prevail against the kingdom of light.

Our enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy. To pervert, manipulate, and confuse, distract, divide, and disable.

But God is greater than the doubts that clutter your mind, the enemies that frustrate your plans, the heart-wrenching and even soul-crushing situation that’s currently consuming your thoughts.

You can fight from a place of victory because the battle has already been won.

Jesus has already conquered death. And now, while we wait for others to come to salvation and for God to bring all things to completion under Christ’s authority, we can fight with a confident hope.

There’s a battle happening all around us—a battle for your heart, for your mind, for your soul. But greater is the One living inside of you than the one who is living in this world.
Arthur Unknown

03/24/2025

Hello Friends, summer hours are now available. Please DM if you would like to set up a free consultation.

Compassionate mental health professional, fostering wellbeing through Christ centered counseling.

12/30/2024

Parenting is tough, but sometimes it’s the simple things we can add or change in our daily routine that can make struggles more bearable. Although this article says “teens” this can be used at all ages.

“5 Reasons for Teens to Practice Gratitude”.
By Kelly Heath

When my children were young, we created a Thankful Tree tradition. Every November, we trekked into the woods behind our house, looking for the perfect fallen branch to serve as our tree. We secured it in a flowerpot and placed it in the middle of our kitchen counter. Then, we cut out leaf patterns from construction paper and placed them in a bowl next to the tree. After dinner everyone selected a paper leaf, wrote down something they were thankful for, and taped it onto the tree. By the end of the month, the branches and our hearts were overflowing with our many blessings.

As our children become teenagers, traditions like this might seem childish. Plus, our teens are busy, and we are, too. Is it really that necessary? Yes! Practicing gratitude is even more important during the teen years, when kids naturally become more self-centered during adolescence. They worry whether or not they will pass the test, make the team, be included in that friend group, be chosen for that part, or get accepted into that college. When everything in your teen’s life seems monumental, it is easy for them to lose proper perspective and let their feelings determine their faith.
Here are 5 reasons we should help our teens practice gratitude:

Gratitude turns our focus away from ourselves.
We live in a self-centered world. We come into the world focused on our own needs, and our social media culture has multiplied that tendency by a bazillion. Being intentional about gratitude requires that we take our eyes off ourselves and turn them to the Giver of all good gifts (James 1:17). Actively looking for things to be thankful for reminds our teens that they are not actually the center of the universe.

Gratitude helps us focus on the positive instead of the negative.
The teen years feel a bit like a roller coaster with lots of ups and downs. Unfortunately, those negative thoughts and feelings have a way of not only lingering but also growing. Before you know it, they can wrap their dark tendrils around your teen’s heart and squeeze the life right out of them.
Where we direct our focus has a huge impact on our overall attitude. Paul encourages us not to be anxious, but to think on “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable… excellent or praiseworthy.” (Philippians 4:8) Gratitude enables us to embrace a positive perspective on life.
Gratitude teaches us to learn from difficult situations instead of complaining.
Teenagers are infamous for grumbling and complaining when life is difficult or doesn’t go their way. However, time has a way of bringing perspective. Circumstances that are painful in the moment can eventually lead to great self-discovery and a strengthened faith (see Genesis 50:19-21). If we teach our teens to look back and recognize where God was working in the midst of their difficult experiences, they are then better able to recognize those types of blessings and lessons in the moment. Choosing gratitude will help them embrace whatever the Lord desires to teach them through their circumstances. And that benefits everyone a lot more than just complaining.

Gratitude grows a mature faith.
Being thankful requires recognizing the gifts we have received. Being the receiver of those gifts requires acknowledging that there is a Giver. Most of what we are grateful for we have not earned in any way. We simply receive it. When our teens focus on the many ways God has provided for them, they learn to trust in His future provision. They learn to trust His ways and His timing, even when His ways and timing don’t align with theirs (see Isaiah 55:8-9). Focusing on gratitude becomes an expression of maturing faith.
Gratitude is contagious.
Have you ever been around someone who has a grateful spirit? It’s contagious, isn’t it? People who intentionally choose an attitude of gratitude have learned to not take the little things for granted. The more we are around someone like that, the more we begin to treasure and appreciate the little moments as well. And the less we take things for granted, the kinder we tend to be to those around us. Gratitude spreads to everyone around us (see 1 Thessalonians 3:12).
As a parent, I want to be the kind of person that others, including my teens, want to be around. I want my faith, joy, and gratitude to be contagious. And I want to help them learn to be that way, too, so they can have a greater impact for God’s Kingdom. How about you?

Be Proactive
While your teen may have outgrown traditions like the Thankful Tree, it is more important than ever to continue helping them choose gratitude. You can prayerfully seize opportunities to help your teen be less self-centered, focus on the positive, learn from difficult situations, grow a mature faith, and live a life of gratitude that is contagious to those around them.
“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)
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12/20/2024

Marriage is hard! Communication isn’t always easy. Need help, book your appointment today for the upcoming new year.

10 Things Your Husband Hates

My husband and I spent many years in a miserable state. I’m ashamed to tell you that this list is a result of some of the ways I was guilty. Several, actually. I’d love for you to learn from the mistakes that I made over the years.

1. He hates when you throw him under the bus in public.
When you point out his faults, criticize, or correct him, you make him feel like an idiot in front of others—and that’s demeaning. Don’t embarrass him in any way (especially in front of your children). Would you want him to do that to you?

2. He hates when you remind him of his past failures.
It’s something that was settled long ago (or maybe just last week), and you just can’t seem to let it go. We’ve all failed. Let go of things that have already been worked through and settled. If there are unresolved issues that were never dealt with biblically, don’t bring them up as a bully club, but take steps to graciously resolve them and move on!

3. He hates when you unload on him as soon as he walks in the door.
One thing I can’t stress to wives enough—HUG your man when he comes in from work! Greet him with a kiss and some love. Give him an encouraging word, and hold off on letting him know what a tough time you’ve had. He has had a long day. (I know you have as well, but I’m not talking to him. I’m talking to you.) He’s been hit with challenges that you haven’t faced, and perhaps he fought battles you’ll never know about. Be what makes it all worth coming home to.

4. He hates when you expect him to be just like your girlfriend.
He’s probably not a crafter, a scrapbooker, or a fan of spending five hours at the mall. An afternoon in the nail salon is probably not his idea of fun. He’s not going to communicate with you like your best friend or want to know the complete story you want to tell. Down to the Very. Last. Detail. Appreciate him for being a man, and leave the girl stuff to your girl friends.

5. He hates when you expect him to read your mind.
Just tell him. Don’t play those mind games where you’re thinking: If he really loved me, he’d know that I want him to . . . (fill in the blank). I wouldn’t have to tell him! Your husband will be so grateful if you’ll ditch the mind-reading game and just have some honest and gracious communication.

6. He hates when you treat him like your child.
Men know that they don’t think like we do. They know that it can be challenging to measure up to our expectations or desires. When they forget to close the lid on the toilet, it’s not because they want to irritate us. When they take the long route because they forgot the right exit, it’s not because they want to burn that extra gas. When we talk to our husbands in the same tone we would use with our children, it is disrespectful. And that’s a sin.

7. He hates when you unload the big guns at 11 p.m.
Don’t wait until bedtime to bring up a topic of discussion that has the potential to put the two of you on opposite side of an all out battle until near dawn. If you need to have a conversation that has the potential for major conflict or emotion, do it early in the evening (or maybe save it for a morning when he’s home). Respect his need to get some rest.

8. He hates when you compare him to that “perfect guy” at church.
Your husband may not seem as “spiritual,” may not treat you the same way you see that “perfect guy” treat his wife, he may not sound as knowledgeable, or seem as interested in the sermon. But your husband probably has some worthy qualities that you may be missing because you’re so focused on what he’s “not.” Quit comparing him to other men—what good can come from you doing that? Why not ask God to open your eyes to see things that you’ve not yet appreciated about him?

9. He hates when you give him the silent treatment.
Whenever you use the silent treatment to manipulate him, it harms both of you. The silent treatment is a hostile punishment tool. Don’t make things more difficult by clamming up or stuffing your anger. If you’re hurt or angry, first go to God and ask Him to search your heart to see if the anger is righteous or if there is some offense that needs to be discussed. Talk it out with your husband. Be honest and humble in your communication and remember—he’s not your enemy!

10. He hates when you use s*x as a weapon.
The gift of s*xual intimacy is to be an expression of unselfish love. It’s a physical demonstration of spiritual unity. Don’t withhold yourself to punish your husband, and don’t use your intimacy as a bribing technique. Honor your marriage bed as sacred, and love your husband well.

Have I sounded harsh today? I hope not, I just know how easy it is to slip into a disrespectful attitude that morphs into ugly treatment of those we love most. I’m challenging all of us today to set aside any of these things that are a common, but destructive, tendency in marriage. And they are not God-glorifying.
Do you see yourself anywhere in this list? If you do, I hope you’ll spend some time seeking God. Ask Him to show you specific things you need to ask your husband to forgive you for, and share that with him.
By Kimberly Wagner

12/20/2024

Hello Friends,
I will be hosting these classes online for those who are out of town or unable to meet in-person. You are not alone in your grief! Sign up today and let’s walk this journey together.

Also note, the times listed are central time.
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We will be hosting a new GriefShare class beginning February 4th. For more details or to register, please go to this link: https://forms.gle/j7P75bsr8bVJwAWt8

12/09/2024

The Pursuit of Joy
By: Joe Keller
December 9, 2024

Joy
As believers, we have directly experienced the joy that comes through faith in Christ and the gospel’s transforming work. There is also an accompanying indescribable sense of joy that undergirds every area of life. Even amid suffering, we have hope that transcends this temporal world and elevates our desires to that which is eternal and spiritual. In trying to find language to capture this experience, I would describe joy as the state of delight in God. The pursuit of joy is the pursuit of God. Let’s explore this further together.

Our Joy in the Lord

The object of our joy is the Lord Himself. Our state of delight is found in the character and work of God (Phil. 4:4). This is the foundational understanding and experience of joy. Joy is not found in something, but in someone, and that someone is God Himself (1 Pet.1:8). There are many things that promise delight and pleasure in this world, but none of them can fully satisfy (Eccles. 2:1-11). Only the beauty of the gospel brings true hope and transforming joy. This joy is not connected to any particular experience or emotion, as not to give credit to some secondary cause. God is the object of our joy (Ps. 34:8). The joy in union with Christ has been given not by anything we have done but only through His grace alone. Our faith is not in things or circumstances but in God alone (Rom. 14:17). Think back to when the grace of faith in the gospel changed your life. Do you remember that sense of joy? That joy in the Lord transcends circumstances and can be applied in every area of life. This is why joy is evidence or fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22). It is not discovered through secondary causes, only the spiritual (Ps. 4:7). Joy is the gift that God has given us to be found in Him alone, for His glory alone.

The Joy Stealer

Although it might not seem like it in the moment, sin is a powerful stealer of our joy (Ps. 32:1-3). The deceitfulness of sin is not in its promises of pleasure but in its promise to satisfy. Sin, at its core, is finding pleasure and purpose outside of God and His commands. This is the direct opposite of the joy that comes through believing God and His promises. Sin promotes the half-truths and false promises of this world and points to finding joy outside of God’s decrees. It was the original temptation in the garden and is the same temptation in the public square today. God will not allow the joy that is only to be found in Him to be shared with another (Gal. 6:7-8). There is hope. Repentance and forgiveness are beautiful expressions of the pursuit of joy in God (James 1:9) and are a recognition that sin steals true joy.

Developing Joy

Joy is not a commodity that can be gathered or dispensed. God has provided all joy in Him, and that does not waver or change. However, we can develop our experiences of joy through means that are available to every believer. The foundation of joy first comes through knowing and understanding the giver and author of our joy. God has revealed Himself perfectly and entirely through His Word (Ps. 19:7). The development of joy is to know and understand the Scriptures and how they apply to everyday life. We can also build personal joy by practicing a mindset that is set on the things above and not on earthly things (Col. 3:1-3). As we set regular times of prayer and meditation according to the Scriptures, we are given a heart to see God (Rom. 15:13). When applied to everyday life, this mindset can help us glorify God and enjoy Him in every area of life. This applied belief shapes our joy and is the very practice of the presence of God. Further, joy is not dependent upon circumstances. Even amid deep suffering and despair, there is a hope that God is at work to bring about joy (Rom. 5:1-11). It is the Christian hope that we are learning and growing through all kinds of circumstances to increase our experience of the joy that comes from our union with Christ. Understanding and recognizing His presence develops our experience of joy as we delight more in Him and gives us strength to engage every day with hope (Neh. 8:10).

Fullness of Joy

The fullness of our joy is found in our state of delight in Christ (John 15:11). He has come to bring life and redemption for life eternal, and this is the fullness of joy (John 10:10). This joy is not designed to be experienced as an exclusively individual pursuit, but a corporate one. The people of Christ both experience and share joy. In fact, joy is completed when we share it with others in a reciprocal way (Phil. 2:1-3). An increase of the joy of God’s people proclaims the gospel and unites our hearts in our delight in Him (1 Thess. 2:19-20). This unifying joy is only a picture of what will be revealed on the last day when Christ returns. On that day, the very presence of sin will be removed, and our joy will be fulfilled as we will be united with Christ for all eternity. There will be no more tears and despair, only an eternal state of delight in God, for we will be in His presence (Rev. 19:7).

The joy we receive through Christ is the foundational state of delight that shapes our worldview upon which we experience all things. This pursuit of joy will never leave us wanting or leave our side in times of distress. Let us all give ourselves to this pursuit, for there is no end to its delight.