Clear Skies Psychiatry, LLC

09/28/2025

Our hearts are with you, Evergreen.
We need to do better. 💔

Message from Family of School Shooting Survivor

On September 10th, two Evergreen High School students were critically injured after they were shot by a gunman on campus. One of those students is 18-year-old Matthew Silverstone. The other teen survivor’s family has chosen to remain confidential for now. However, the Jefferson County Sheriff’s Office is assisting the family in releasing this statement, while continuing to respect their privacy.

"On September 10th, inside Evergreen High School, our 14-year-old son endured the unimaginable: a face-to-face encounter with a violent school shooter filled with anger and hatred. Our child suffered traumatic gunshot injuries and has remained hospitalized and undergone multiple surgeries since the incident.

In those terrifying moments, our son showed a level of bravery, strength, and will to survive that no child should ever be asked to display. He and his friend confronted the assailant, which undoubtedly allowed time for more students to flee and the school to lock down. This life-altering encounter happened before alarms were set off or lockdown announcements made.

Our son was shot at close range. Yet, he was able to run from the school to save his own life. As he and his friend ran through the school to escape, they alerted classmates about a student with a gun. Our son reached the recreation center behind the school and received immediate, critical first aid from an EMT/firefighter who was working there.

After initial surgeries he was finally able to communicate in writing. The first questions he wrote were about the wellbeing of his family, friends, classmates, teachers, and the other innocent victim, Matthew. He also asked how this could happen. His mind and messages were clear: The adults responsible for protecting children must take real, meaningful action so that no child or family endures this kind of horror – in school or anywhere. Character is proven when tested, and our son showed and continues to show his loving, caring heart and principled mind.

As we surround him in the hospital, grapple with medical diagnoses and a long sequence of surgeries, and process immense grief, we are also deeply grateful. To the librarian who pointed him toward safety as he ran for his life through the library emergency exit. To the EMT/firefighter and others who gave him care in those first critical moments. To the first responders and initial hospital staff who triaged his injuries. To the flight team who flew him to the PICU. To the incredible nurses, doctors, surgeons, and care providers who dedicate their lives to helping children and families on their darkest days. To the Jeffco deputies standing guard outside of his hospital room to provide a sense of safety, as well as the victim advocates. And to the Evergreen community - and communities across our state and country - who have surrounded us with love and support in so many ways. It is through your support that he will persevere and return to the community that loves him.

The road ahead for our beloved son and family will be long and complicated – physically, emotionally, and in ways we cannot yet imagine. The same is likely true for all who lived through this tragedy. His and our wish is that real change will come from it, finally.

Support for children, families and communities irrevocably affected by gun violence in schools often fades long before victims heal. Recovery takes time far beyond news cycles. These children need more than momentary sympathy and support; they need lasting commitment. Stand with them and for them for the duration. Our immediate priority is our son's recovery. Moving forward, we are committed to working together to ensure the long-term safety and wellbeing of all our children.

Please continue to hold our son and Matthew in your hearts and give them support and strength as they continue through the long and difficult journey of recovery."

04/11/2025

Adolescence was an incredible piece of art / filmmaking. It also makes a really important, if uncomfortable, statement about kids growing up in these smartphone obsessed times. Parents of tweens and teens- it’s probably a must-watch.

Recently, the Netflix series Adolescence became one of the platform’s most-watched limited series. It tells the fictional story of a 13-year-old boy whose descent into online misogyny and emotional isolation ends in tragedy. I’ve heard from many parents who watched it in one sitting — and others who said, “I can’t bear to watch, but I want to understand what it’s about.”

The series captures with haunting accuracy the quiet erosion of connection, empathy, and safety that can happen because our kids are growing up online — especially when they’re alone with big emotions and unfiltered content.

You don’t have to watch it to understand the real-life issues it raises — issues I hear about from families, teachers, and teens every day.

If you're parenting a tween or teen right now, here are the takeaways that matter most.

Many thanks to Dr. Delaney Ruston and Lisa Tabb from Screenagers Movies for writing this powerful blog! Please check out their website and sign up for their weekly Tech Talk Tuesday blog.

1. Bedrooms Should Be Tech-Free. Full Stop.
‍

In the show, the child’s parents believe he’s safe in his room — but he’s not. He’s alone with the internet, slowly absorbing messages that twist his worldview and sense of self-worth. This is happening in real life, and it often starts with nothing more than a phone under the covers.

We know from sleep science, emotional regulation research, and countless family stories that nighttime is when kids are most vulnerable — and least likely to make thoughtful choices online.

Parenting move:
Start a device-free bedroom policy now, ideally for both day and night. If daytime is not possible, at least do this for night and sleep time. How? I have written a lot on this and spoken about it on podcast episodes

Rather than set up a docking station for charging overnight, I recommend keeping kids’ devices in the parent's bedroom. Docking stations in common rooms, like a kitchen, can be too tempting for young ones to sneak the devices late at night. Create a routine that helps kids wind down with books, conversation, or other calming activities. It’s a small boundary with a big impact.

‍

2. Talk About the Pressures Boys Are Quietly Facing
‍

One trend that’s increasingly shaping how boys see themselves, especially tweens, is the fitness-focused, hyper-masculine content flooding social media. We’re seeing boys who haven’t even hit puberty yet feeling like they should be lifting weights, downing protein shakes, and achieving “alpha” status.

In Screenagers: Elementary School Age Edition, Jonathan Haidt, author of The Anxious Generation, talks about how body dysmorphia is on the rise for boys.

During these tween years, boys are biologically not supposed to be muscular or physically mature. And it’s happening while many of their female peers are developing faster, which can quietly erode boys’ self-esteem even more.

This pressure to be physically strong is often wrapped up with messages about dominance, toughness, and sexual power. Combine this with the rise in early exposure to po*******hy, and boys are being shown unrealistic, and sometimes harmful, models of manhood before they’ve even figured out who they are.

And when they don’t live up to these impossible ideals, that’s when shame creeps in. It turns inward, sometimes leading to anxiety, isolation, and insecurity. Other times, it comes out sideways with things like sarcasm, bullying, and physical aggression.

‍Parenting move:
Talk to your son about what he's seeing online around body image, fitness, and masculinity. Ask him what it feels like to be a boy in today’s world. Help him name and question the pressure to be physically strong or sexually experienced before he’s ready. Normalize being a late bloomer, being soft-hearted, being unsure.

‍

3. Talk About the Pressures Girls Are Quietly Facing
‍

In the show, we learn that a girl sent a topless photo that was circulated in school. She was teased because of her breast size. She felt terrible. She is then asked out by a boy (the lead in the story) and mercilessly starts being mean to him.

She feels hurt and vulnerable and then turns that hurt and pain onto someone else. Girls experience all sorts of social pressures, not just to send nudes but lots of other requests from boys as well as snide remarks from other girls, exclusion from online groups, and the list goes on.

How are parents supposed to know the many layers of social conflict a child may be experiencing?

Parenting move: ‍
Talk to kids about the many ways that social conflict and pain are played out among girls (and boys, of course).

In The Screenagers Podcast from last week, we hear a school principal talk about a girl who was made fun of online and then felt “relevant” when she was able to post something mean about someone else on another student’s anonymous Instagram site — a site that was considered cool among some students.

‍

4. Online Teasing and Shame Are Deeply Painful, And Can Be Invisible
‍

Another part of Adolescence that feels painfully accurate is how online bullying — especially around sexuality and social status — can fuel deep internal damage. Kids may not tell adults what’s happening in group chats, comments, or DMs. But the impact is real: name-calling, exposure of private photos, rumors, and public humiliation that spreads in seconds and lives forever.

And kids might not tell us the secret meaning of emojis. In Adolescence, we learn about the use of emojis that carry hidden (and inappropriate) messages. Some have to do with the idea of being an ‘incel’ (involuntary celibate).

For boys especially, the shame of being rejected or mocked online can become tangled with messages they’ve internalized about needing to be in control, admired, or sexually powerful. The fear of looking “weak” can prevent them from asking for help — just when they need it most.

Parenting move:
‍Reassure your child that they can come to you about anything that happens online — even if it’s embarrassing. I have termed this “Safety First”. I describe this in Screenagers: Elementary School Age Edition as the following:

“Social media is complicated. Even group chats and texting can get complicated. What is clear is that I want my kids to know that they can talk with us and we won't reflexively take away their devices. I call this Safety First.”

Help your child identify other trusted adults they can turn to. Make it clear that needing help is a sign of strength, not failure.

‍

5. Look for Changes, Not Just Red Flags
‍

During adolescence (the development stage), a boy doesn’t become a different person overnight. Any troubling changes would be slower, becoming more irritable, isolated, and reactive over time.

These shifts are easy to overlook or dismiss in real life as “just teen stuff.” That isn’t to say all boys go through these changes, and certainly not to the degree you see in the show. If they do happen, don’t immediately dismiss them as just “teen stuff.” If your gut is worried, pay attention.

Kids who are struggling with bullying, shame, or feeling like outsiders often gravitate toward online voices that offer a false sense of power or belonging. Sometimes, these voices promote cruelty or rigid gender roles as solutions to their pain.

Parenting move:
Stay alert to mood, energy, and interest shifts. If your child suddenly becomes obsessed with one influencer, starts mocking certain groups, or shuts down emotionally, lean in. If something feels off and stays off, trust your instinct and act. But don’t jump to extremes without listening and observing first.

Intervention doesn’t mean yelling or banning everything. Ask gentle, open questions. Stay calm, curious, and present. It might mean removing devices for a time, bringing in a therapist, or getting support from teachers or mentors.

Adolescence isn’t required viewing for parents, but the issues it raises are already in our homes, schools, and kids’ pockets. Whether it’s a sixth grader being teased in a group chat, an eighth grader silently comparing his body to what he sees on TikTok, or a freshman trying to act tougher than he feels, these moments matter.

And they’re not beyond our reach. What kids need most isn’t control — it’s connection. A parent who listens without lecturing. A home that feels safe. And boundaries that say: “I care enough to protect you, even when it’s uncomfortable.”

07/18/2024

Great advice. If we all adopted these policies imagine how much less pressure parents and kids would feel to let devices rule our lives…

11/30/2023

I had the kids do our yearly “go through the toys in the playroom with me and decide what to donate before Santa comes” thing this weekend. Not only did the room get cleaned up and reorganized with everyone’s help, but the 9 year-old ended up playing quietly with some toys she had forgotten about for three uninterrupted hours. While this is admittedly not as exciting or fun as building gingerbread houses together, I’d say it’s a decent ritual 😉
What’s yours?

11/23/2023

Happy giving-thanks Day! 🦃🍁❤️ Hoping that today (and every day) you’re surrounded by things to be grateful for.

Ancient philosophers proposed it, modern researchers have confirmed it: Being thankful is good for you.

07/19/2023

Helpful and concise read, but full of things I need to remind myself to do and not do…
1) don’t focus on achievement, it can send a message that love is conditional
2) do practice gratitude, and model it often
3) do ask your kids questions about their day and about themselves that reflect your values.
4) don’t try to spare your kids from negative emotions- they’re part of the normal human experience
5) don’t prevent kids from failing.
Rinse and repeat. We got this, parents. 👊

Record numbers of children and teens are struggling emotionally right now. Here's how parents can help.

12/21/2022

Great advice from a dear friend and medical school classmate of mine. Happy Holidays everyone! Don’t forget to take care of yourselves too 🙂

Most weight loss programs purely focus on food and exercise, but as a physician trained in Lifestyle Medicine 🩺👩🏽‍⚕️ I believe that in order to lose weight permanently and improve our health, we must look at more than what we eat. 🍎

When we are well rested, we have more control over our cravings and hunger. So getting enough sleep 😴 can help us eat less and eat healthier. 🥦

When we are exercising, we are more likely to crave healthier foods. So prioritizing even a quick workout can help you make healthier food choices.

When we are feeling more relaxed and more joyful, we are less likely to engage in emotional eating. So prioritizing self care 🧘🏻‍♀️, and working on ways to reduce and better manage our stress will help us eat only when we are hungry.

I believe in a holistic approach to help you lose weight permanently, and to help you become your best self. 🙌🏼

Follow me if you want to hear more of my tips on losing weight permanently while optimizing your health. ✨

07/11/2022

Saw this on the wall during a recent family escape to the mountains. I’m not sure who to credit for it exactly, but I thought it was beautiful and a worthwhile reminder for all of us; it’s a testament to our power to choose. When we feel that everything else is beyond our control, it’s easy to forget that our emotions and responses to them are our own.

06/27/2022

Informative piece in the NY Times today.

"Another study, published in 2021 in JAMA Psychiatry, reported that, in 1995, only 2 percent of schizophrenia diagnoses in Denmark were associated with ma*****na use, but by 2010 that figure had risen to 6 to 8 percent, which researchers associated with increases in the use and potency of cannabis."

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/06/23/well/mind/teens-thc-cannabis.html?smid=url-share

06/11/2022

Helpful reminders for all parents. We can actually undermine kids’ confidence when we do too much for them. The most successful people have lots of things going for them- and there are many definitions of success- but positive parenting will always be a cornerstone of this, and something we parents can strive to do more of, sometimes by doing less.

After raising two entrepreneurs of her own, parenting expert Margot Bisnow interviewed 70 families about how to raise resilient, driven and fulfilled kids. Here are the most fascinating parenting lessons she learned.

04/08/2022

Colorado teens! Check out this great summer opportunity in one of the most gorgeous places ever… outdoor education has proven mental and physical health benefits, if it isn’t obvious 😉

Are you between the ages of 16 and 19, enjoy spending time outdoors, and looking for a summer job? Or do you know someone who is?

The Youth Conservation Program (YCP) in Grand Teton National Park is hiring!

The YCP is a 10-week employment opportunity for individuals ages 16-19 from June 13 to August 19. With the YCP, crew members gain valuable experience working and learning in Grand Teton. The program is challenging, educational, fun, and offers participants opportunities to expand their horizons while building skills that will benefit them for a lifetime. No previous wilderness experience is required, but a willingness and ability to work in a physically active outdoor program, get along well with others, and maintain a positive attitude are essential for success.

Applications will be accepted through April 13. Apply at https://www.nps.gov/grte/getinvolved/supportyourpark/ycp.htm.

The YCP is made possible through the generous support of Grand Teton National Park Foundation.

11/29/2021

Dr. Becky makes some great points here, especially as we head into the holidays. It’s so automatic to seek external validation and immediate sources of gratification that it’s easy to forget that those things don’t actually make us happy, and won’t make our kids happy in the long run either. “Good Inside” podcast might be worth a listen...

“Because there are so many ways right now to get around frustration, you have to be mindful to raise kids who learn how to tolerate it.”