Over the course of several years and a few abusive relationships, I recognized that I was not adequately taking care of myself. Early 2014, during my last abusive relationship, I started to put myself first, I don’t know if I had done that before. After deployment, I took my daughter and I out of another abusive environment, and started taking care of my mental health. I landed a well paying job at GE, bought a house in Champaign, and a couple cars to compensate for my lack of feeling okay with myself. The job wore on me physically and mentally. With him, we have both grown so much emotionally, mentally, and physically. We have went through multiple miscarriages in 2.5 years, finding out our kids had been sexually assaulted and abused, surgeries, grief, substance struggles, family struggles with boundaries, toxic behaviors, etc. Despite all of these things, we are learning and growing and becoming stronger and healthier every step of the way. Not only as a couple, but as individuals too. We help to keep each other accountable and set boundaries, sharing these things with our kiddos and seeing how much more open everyone is when we are patient with each person. In these moments, it is important to validate all feelings and not rush them away. How else do kids learn emotional regulation? It is surely not by blowing up at them, it is giving them the space to feel what they feel without judgment. This is the same for adults. This page has become so much more than just a fitness journal. It is a whole body, mind, and spirit experience.
