12/02/2022
Death & Love
Having a relationship to death will have you crave life.
When there is no relationship to death, life is not cherished.
We live as though there’s always the next concert, the next birthday, the next communication, the next dinner date, the next hello, blah,blah, blah… We’ve heard it before.
I didn’t cherish life. I mean I liked life, but I’d take it or leave it, until…….
I thought I was literally physically dying.
At one point in my journey I thought all oxygen was being shut off from my body and all I wanted was another human being to touch me and to share love between us. It is all that mattered.
Love was the only thing that was bigger, stronger than the feeling of fear that I was actually dying.
And it wasn’t dying I was afraid of. The fear was from feeling alone, with no love in an uncertain space. (And we are always dealing with uncertain spaces as we are growing, evolving, dying to old parts of ourselves.)
Death has been the most profound teacher for me.
I love differently.
Deeper. Messier. Fiercer.
My stories are temporary. They allow me to experience anger, sadness, grief, excitement, judgment, righteousness, fear, happiness. They can change at any moment. And though they add color to my life, they are not what is real or what truly matters.
Love is what is real.
And it has many looks to it…
it’s gentle,
it’s quiet,
it’s fierce,
it’s loud,
it’s innocent,
it’s accepting,
it’s patient,
it’s discerning,
it’s honoring,
it’s demanding,
it’s courageous.
Love will kiss you on the lips and slap you upside your head. It’s all of it.
We are all walking each other home…to love.
Love will teach us.
With a fierce & humble heart ☺️