Katie Lear, Child Counselor

Katie Lear, Child Counselor Help for kids and tweens in Davidson, NC! Manage meltdowns, deal with anxiety and heal trauma using CBT, play therapy and drama therapy.

This is a special form of therapy designed for toddlers, preschoolers, and young children who are struggling with big be...
08/10/2025

This is a special form of therapy designed for toddlers, preschoolers, and young children who are struggling with big behaviors and meltdowns. All little children tantrum, but sometimes these acting-out behaviors get so intense and difficult to manage that it puts a strain on the relationship between parent and child. This creates a vicious cycle of bad behavior, frustration, and disconnection.

Sometimes these behavior struggles are a response to trauma or stress, and other times it may just be due to temperament and sensitivity. Regardless of the reason, therapies like PCIT can help parents and children break the cycle of “bad” behavior, set appropriate limits, and enjoy more time spent together.

You can expect to spend a lot of time in the office with your child if you’re participating in PCIT. You’ll learn skills from your therapist to practice at home, and also get opportunities to use them in real time, with your therapist there to coach you through the process. The first part of PCIT is all about strengthening your relationship with your child through play and positive attention. The second is a set of discipline tools you can use to shape behavior without accidentally fueling the fire.

Not only do coping skills motivate kids to go deeper in therapy, they’re often a necessary first step. Kids dealing with...
08/09/2025

Not only do coping skills motivate kids to go deeper in therapy, they’re often a necessary first step. Kids dealing with severe anxiety or trauma spend a lot of their time in fight-or-flight mode. When you’ve got all that adrenaline coursing through your body, you’re focused on survival, not learning.

It’s really hard to effect big, lasting change when a child is too worked up to learn. Effective coping skills soothe the nervous system, so kids can calm themselves more easily and spend less time in fight-or-flight.

If your child is participating in trauma therapy, learning to self-soothe is critical. As children tell deeper and more difficult parts of their story, they may find their symptoms get worse before they get better. Revisiting their coping skills helps kids care for themselves and prevent overwhelm.

Play therapy builds on a child’s natural tendency to learn about the world through play, so they can work through big fe...
08/03/2025

Play therapy builds on a child’s natural tendency to learn about the world through play, so they can work through big feelings and difficult life changes without having to sit and talk for hours on end. Sitting on a couch across the room from a strange adult isn’t always the most natural thing for little kids. Play therapy is a wonderful way for younger children to feel safe and comfortable in the therapy room.

Play therapists like to say that “play is a child’s language, and toys are a child’s words.” With this in mind, you’ll see a wide variety of toys in a play therapist's office that aim to give children a broad vocabulary to choose from. Expect to find nurturing toys, like dolls, aggressive toys, like punching bags, and creative toys, like art supplies. What you probably won’t find a lot of is electronic stuff: most play therapy toys are open-ended to encourage kids to play in a variety of ways.

So how is play in a therapy office different than play at home? Play therapists are trained to notice underlying themes that repeat themselves in a child’s play, and may give insight into how they’re thinking and feeling.

Within the umbrella of play therapy, you’ll find a variety of different approaches. Some play therapists are child-centered, meaning they are trained to follow a child’s lead and let them set the pace for therapy. Others may incorporate education about feelings or coping strategies into play to help children learn new skills.

Little children are in the earliest stage of understanding death. They’ve probably seen movies or cartoons in which char...
08/02/2025

Little children are in the earliest stage of understanding death. They’ve probably seen movies or cartoons in which characters die, and this might be their only basis for comparison. Children may assume death means that a person has gone away, fallen asleep, or otherwise left them in a way that is not permanent. They may also worry about whether or not their loved one is afraid or feeling pain.

Any stressful event can cause regressions for preschool-aged kids, and death is no different. You may notice your 3, 4, or 5-year old returning to earlier habits, like thumb-sucking or bedwetting. Your child may be extra clingy for a while, or have trouble sleeping alone when they were once independent.

You might also notice that themes or details from your loved one’s death show up in your child’s play. While it might be a surprise to see your child having a funeral for a Barbie doll, or re-enacting an accident with toy cars, this is usually a healthy sign. Children process feelings through play, so these types of activities help kids make sense of what has just happened in their world. If the play is prolonged, rigidly repetitive, or seems to make your child upset instead of relieved, it might be worth speaking to your child’s doctor or a children’s grief counselor.

Kids have to juggle complex social dynamics while also dealing with academic pressure that can feel overwhelming. Homewo...
07/25/2025

Kids have to juggle complex social dynamics while also dealing with academic pressure that can feel overwhelming. Homework, college admissions, and even just getting to class on time can be stressors for kids. Here are some issues that may set off anxiety for children at school.

Highly stressful and traumatic events can shake up a child’s sense of safety. Even if nobody gets seriously hurt, the ex...
07/24/2025

Highly stressful and traumatic events can shake up a child’s sense of safety. Even if nobody gets seriously hurt, the experience of an accident or a dangerous situation can leave a child with lasting worries. At the beginning, you may notice your child is only anxious in situations that are closely linked to their stressful event. Over time, however, that anxiety can generalize. This means the anxiety pops up more often in situations that are only loosely connected to the original event. As time passes it can be harder to connect anxiety symptoms to the underlying trauma or stress that triggered them in the first place.

Children dealing with trauma may notice they feel nervous or overly aware of their surroundings even when there isn’t a clear trigger. They might also notice anxiety caused by people, places, things, and sensory experiences (like sounds and smells) that are associated with the stressful event.

Studies have shown that kids are much more likely than adults to have physical pain and other body-based symptoms as par...
07/20/2025

Studies have shown that kids are much more likely than adults to have physical pain and other body-based symptoms as part of their grief. This may be, in part, because it’s harder for kids to put their feelings into words. Instead, they hold on to all those feelings inside, and they show up in other ways.

It’s common for kids to complain of headaches and stomach aches as a result of the stress. They may also feel fatigued, dizzy, or have trouble focusing on things. Sleep and eating habits can change, too: bereaved children may have poor appetites or trouble falling asleep at night.

It’s always a good idea to talk to a doctor if your child isn’t feeling well. However, if your child’s symptoms don’t have a clear cause, they might be an outward sign of your child’s grief.

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Children process their feelings differently than adults do when it comes to grief. A bereaved adult is likely to feel th...
07/19/2025

Children process their feelings differently than adults do when it comes to grief. A bereaved adult is likely to feel their grief intensely for weeks, months, or even years after a loss. They may have to work hard to give themselves breaks from grieving, so it doesn’t overwhelm them. Adult grief is ever-present, and the feelings tend to exist even when the griever is focusing on other tasks.

This isn’t how grief works for most children. Kids are much more able to jump in and out of grief. It’s normal for a child to cry and have intense feelings for a short period of time, before seemingly moving on to another activity, like playing with friends or watching a show.

This kind of back-and-forth would seem weird if an adult did it, but it’s perfectly normal for kids. Adults have a much bigger emotional capacity than kids do: they can tolerate a lot more before getting overwhelmed. If you imagine that an adult’s capacity for grief is like a big empty cup, a child’s might only be a tiny thimble. Once a child’s thimble is full, they need to step away from their grief process for a while, and return when they’re ready to handle some more.

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Children grieving can look very different from adults grieving. To start, when a loved one dies, children have to deal w...
07/13/2025

Children grieving can look very different from adults grieving. To start, when a loved one dies, children have to deal with a huge shock that they don’t fully understand. In addition to dealing with the loss, kids often have to figure out what exactly death is, and what it means for them. Most children also don’t have a lot of prior experience with grief, so they may not know how they are “supposed” to react when faced with such horrible news.

Kids can grieve even if they aren’t old enough to fully conceptualize death. However, it might take them longer to process what has happened and begin showing their feelings about it. Grievers of all ages experience shock and denial after death. For children, this might include wondering if a loved one might still be alive, or wishing they could come back to visit. Little children may ask repeated questions about the death in an attempt to understand it better.

Once time has passed and children have developed an age-appropriate understanding of death, you may notice more recognizable grief symptoms begin to show up. But if a child doesn’t appear sad right away, it doesn’t mean they aren’t grieving. It just means they’re grieving differently.

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Grief is often associated with sadness, anger, denial, and a whole host of other feelings. But when we think of grieving...
07/12/2025

Grief is often associated with sadness, anger, denial, and a whole host of other feelings. But when we think of grieving children, anxiety might not be top of mind. Losing a loved one often means a loss of stability for kids. Their routines are upended, a safe person is gone, and suddenly, they’re aware of the many unexpected dangers that can happen in life.

It’s normal for grieving children to experience separation anxiety while grieving, because keeping loved ones in sight feels more safe. Health anxiety is also common, since children may worry about whether or not they or a loved one could get sick or die, too. The stress of grief can also lead to more generalized worries, trouble sleeping, and body aches and pains due to anxiety, too. Here are a few types of grief that could trigger anxiety - and some external triggers to watch out for.

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Back in the days of Freud, experts believed young children weren’t capable of feeling grief, because they couldn’t fully...
07/06/2025

Back in the days of Freud, experts believed young children weren’t capable of feeling grief, because they couldn’t fully understand what death meant. Today, we know that isn’t true at all: even little babies can sense when a caregiver has left. Children don’t need a complete understanding of death to mourn the loss of a loved one.

If a child is dealing with anxiety so severe that they have stopped attending school, they’re going to need more than co...
07/05/2025

If a child is dealing with anxiety so severe that they have stopped attending school, they’re going to need more than coping skills to get back to living their normal life. Similarly, a child can learn all the coping skills on earth and it won’t be sufficient if parents are constantly fighting at home. Big, long-term, or complicated problems need more than just a singular perspective or method to resolve. They need to be looked at holistically; coping skills may just be the first step in a longer therapy process that involves parents or caregivers, too.

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Charlotte, NC

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