05/05/2022
I first got sober August 11th, 2010. For ten years I refrained from alcohol and drug use. During that time the hole in my soul just kept getting bigger and bigger. And I kept trying to fill it with anything else I possibly could: opening 5 businesses, having 4 beautiful babies in 6 years, buying two RV’s, a new home, a shore house, disordered eating, spending hours a day at the gym, and the list goes on and on. A relapse was inevitable. The final push over my proverbial edge did come. And I was off to the races for two more years. It was like I had never stopped using. I picked up right where I had left off. And being that it is a progressive disease, and I was dealing with a dual diagnosis, I was so far gone from the moment I jumped back in. I never thought that death would appeal to me more than life. Never thought that I could get so slow, so hopeless. I had hit my rock bottom. On September 7th of 2021 I chose life. Or
maybe Life chose me. I gave it all up. Walked away from everything, in order to get it ALL back. 231 days later it is safe to say I believe in miracles. I am beyond grateful for the gifts of sobriety. And god willing I will continue to navigate the peaks and valleys of this beautiful life of mine (a life I almost threw away) ONE DAY AT A TIME!
❤️❤️❤️If YOU or anyone you know or love is struggling with addiction and is looking for help, please reach out to me❤️❤️❤️
***Edited to add based on some questions I am fielding***
These were not “street drugs”. The medications I was taking were prescribed and closely monitored by MY team of doctors including: a double board-certified Doctor in Family Medicine and Obesity Medicine, a Psychopharmacologist and a Clinical Psychologist. Doctors that had a vast knowledge of my previous history with substance abuse. A relapse is a relapse is a relapse. I should’ve advocated for myself like I had done in the past. I didn’t.
Thank you to Hunter.Vs.Addiction for featuring my story and the amazing service work he does on a daily basis.