Confessions of a Bipolar Mom

04/02/2023

01/21/2022

What triggers you? One of my BIGGEST TRIGGERS is being asked "Did you take your medicine?" Maybe it's only in my best interest that someone cares enough to remind me. Or make sure that I'm not "off my meds". My father killed himself for God sake. Why? Because he quit taking his meds and he got inside his head in a very dark place. As a mother taking my meds is a #1 priority! Every. Single. Day. I need to be stable for my children and I don't ever want them to suffer the way I did losing my father at such a young and fragile age. Yes I get upset. I get pi**ed off so bad that I wanna punch something and scream at the top of my lungs. But tell me one sane person in this whole wide world that doesn't. My meds stabilize my mood disorder. They don't make me a happy person every single second of the day. I still get annoyed and sad and mad. For the most part I'm a pretty happy person. Is it bad that that triggers me? I feel like I've heard those word everytime I'm not in a perfect mood, since I was 10 years old.

08/01/2021

Got 3 boys with runny noses. I pray they don't get this crap going around. They are 2, 3, and 4.
Any home remedies? Immune support? Anything mamas? I don't think I can deal with RSV again and it is going around so bad. Rsv took my baby's life twice. I just thank God for bringing him back to me. So with that said... any advise would be a blessing!

08/01/2021

Happy Birthday my husband!

07/27/2021

Life is absolutely beautiful! I'm so thankful for this little family that me and my soulmate created together. We received so many blessings lately and my heart is so full. My God has answered so many prayers including tge one I said for so long. He sent me the best friend ever. Things are falling into place.

07/01/2021

Hello Mania! Today I've been busy. I slept so good last night. And I woke up full of energy. I changed the kids. Fed them and started cleaning the kitchen. I mopped and cleaned the cabinets. Cleaned out the freezer. Cleaned the whole bathroom and folded and put away 4 loads of laundry. Made the kids lunch,cleaned that up and took them to the park. Its not even 3pm yet. Letting the kids play a little bit longer in the yard then I plan to clean them up and go start some more laundry. Then dinner and baths and later bedtime. Then a few hours of mommy time. A Your probably thinking its sounds like a wonderful thing. Here in the back of my head I know the depression or the exhaustion is coming. The medication keeps me in check and straight 98% of the time. But its not a cure. Knowing what comes next is stressful but I'm just doing the best I can and honestly that's all I can do. I'm enjoying my convos with Zepplin and Emmy. And watching Lincoln brave new things and learn with every tiny movement. You can see it in those big dark brown eyes. And Javy is just the sweetest meanest thing there is. I'm in love with these tiny humans. I want to be better for them and Bipolar will no longer stand in the way of that. I finally understand how it works and I know whats coming. The difference between then and now... I won't let it bring me down. I got this.

06/29/2021

For almost 2 weeks now I been up at 5am. Wide awake. I enjoy my quiet time before the kids wake up and the chaos starts. Diaper changes, sippy cups, cartoons, and breakfast. And from there its pretty much a zoo for the rest of the day. They go hard. But I wouldn't have it any other way. I know one day ill miss this. I swear I blinked and they all grew over night. My baby will be 3 in October and I just can't! In August I'll have two 4 year olds. And November my sweet 1st born will be 7!?!??? How is this possible? Anyways life is so good right now. I still have my moments and the one perfect thing about life is this perfect love I get from these babies and their daddy! I'm blessed. Even on my bad days!!!!

06/22/2021

This is me to a T! So glad I'm not alone.

Let’s begin mourning the mania.

06/22/2021

Hello Friends. I know I've been quiet. I had a sick Toddler and then 2 sick toddlers. Now 2 sick toddlers and a sick little girl. Its been a hell of a week. But I've been doing great mentally. Spending so much time with my kids and less in the phone. I often catch myself stuck in this thing and not paying attention to my kids. I'm learning though. You all have a good night and keep these sweet babies in your prayers.