10/01/2025
From Snake Bites to Self-Forgiveness
When someone hurts you, it’s tempting to get stuck asking: “Why did they do that?” But the truth is, trying to figure out why someone treated you poorly is like asking a snake why it bit you.
The snake bit because that’s what snakes do. People react because that’s what unprocessed triggers do.
People Respond to Triggers
When someone lashes out, withdraws, or speaks harshly, it often has little to do with you. It’s their own unprocessed pain spilling over. They’re reacting from fear, stress, or old wounds they haven’t yet learned to handle in healthy ways.
And here’s the freeing realization: you’ve done the same.
The Mirror of Self-Forgiveness
Self-forgiveness becomes powerful when you realize that, just like others, you too have responded poorly when triggered. Maybe you snapped at someone you love. Maybe you shut down or made a choice you regret.
Shame tells us to stay stuck in the darkness. But compassion whispers: “I understand why I did that. I can forgive myself and choose differently.”
When you release yourself from past shameful behaviors, you free yourself to grow.
Witnessing With Compassion
The most healing step is to compassionately witness both sides:
✨ They were triggered and acting in darkness.
✨ I too have acted in darkness when I was triggered.
With compassion, you move beyond blame into understanding. And when you choose to step into the light, you embrace not only healing but also your inner faith—the belief that love, growth, and forgiveness are stronger than fear.
Final Thought
Stop asking the snake why it bit you. Instead, recognize that unprocessed triggers drive human behavior—for others and for you.
When you witness this truth with compassion, practice self-forgiveness, and step into the light, you find freedom. You are no longer chained by shame, but guided by faith and love.
💜 Inside The Calm Files and The Self Love Solution, we practice forgiveness—for others and for ourselves—so that shame loses its grip and love becomes the guide.