09/18/2021
I was pursuing my 200hr Yoga Certification during some of my darkest moments.
I decided to start my certification less than a month after moving back in with my parents whom I have never had a good relationship with. I love them and always will and I am so grateful they took both my fiancé and I in when we had nowhere else to go, but living with them is no good for me. me.
It brought out a side of me I didn’t like. I started becoming aware of the similar qualities I share with my parents and I didn’t like it. It was extremely challenging to accept the fact that I am very much like my parents no matter how much I try not to be.
During this period I did more inner work than I have ever done in my life and I even got my 200hr online yoga certification and began building out my very own online yoga membership, which I can say is one of the only things that kept me going each day. It gave me a goal that I was passionate about working towards and also held me accountable for staying consistent with my yoga practice. Living amongst my family brought on an onset of daily mental breakdowns to which I coped with to the best of my ability through multiple walks per day, watching the ocean at a nearby beach, meditating, journaling, breathwork, asana practice, and isolating myself from my family in our room. If I am being frank though none of it felt like it was enough. My mental health kept getting worse.
This is a small look into the reality of having depression. It tends to get worse before it gets better but your daily practices do make a difference along the journey of healing. I am so grateful that I kept showing up on my mat day in and day out even if it was just for 5 minutes. That small moment of peace and presence was always worth it.
Let this be a reminder that you are going to have your good and bad days and at first it may seem like more bad ones than good but it will get better as long as you make the choice to keep showing up for yourself. ♥️