Today's Illuminations

02/03/2026

We often focus on stopping the behaviour, not calming the child.

When a child is flooded with emotion, their brain is not choosing to be difficult. It is in survival mode. Reasoning, lectures, consequences, or telling them to calm down do not work at that point. They often make things worse.

Children calm through connection, not control. They need to feel safe before they can listen, think, or learn. The words adults use during emotional moments can either settle the nervous system or increase fear and shame. Even well-meaning phrases can accidentally signal danger or rejection.

Big emotions are not bad behaviour. They are a sign that something feels too much. When adults stay calm, name what is happening, and offer safety, the child’s body can begin to settle. Skills grow after the storm, not in the middle of it.

This is why the right words matter.

Like the photo and comment "CALM" and we will send you a message with a link to a free PDF of this resource.

01/31/2026

If you’ve ever been told your child “should be able to calm themselves by now”, this matters.

Decades of developmental research show that emotional regulation is not something children learn alone. It is built, slowly and repeatedly, through co-regulation with a safe adult. Before the brain can self-soothe, it needs to experience being soothed. This isn’t permissive parenting — it’s how nervous systems develop.

Studies on parent–child synchrony, the Still-Face paradigm, and social biofeedback consistently show the same thing: regulation is social before it becomes internal. Children borrow calm, learn meaning, and gradually build the capacity to regulate themselves through relationship. Co-regulation isn’t a parenting trend — it’s the cornerstone of emotional development.

Research references (evidence-based)
Ruth Feldman – Bio-behavioural synchrony research demonstrating that attuned caregiver–child interactions predict later self-regulation and emotional competence (Feldman, 2003; 2012).
Edward Tronick – Mutual Regulation Model and Still-Face paradigm showing that infants rely on caregiver responsiveness to regulate distress before self-regulation emerges.
György Gergely & Watson – Social biofeedback model explaining how contingent adult responses teach children to understand and regulate internal emotional states.
Murray et al. (2019) – Applied developmental model positioning co-regulation as a core mechanism through which self-regulation develops across childhood.
Bornstein et al. (2023) – Reviews framing co-regulation as a multilevel biological and relational process foundational to emotional regulation.

01/31/2026

𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞𝐭𝐲 𝐢𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐛𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲. It's built on three things that actually matter.
Consistency. Being emotionally available even if it's just five minutes a day. Not grand gestures. Just predictable presence.

Repair. Not leaving conflict hanging in the air hoping it resolves itself. Taking steps to reconnect after you've hurt each other.

Regulation. Learning to soothe your own stress before you react. So you're responding to your partner, not your triggered nervous system.

These three things create the foundation for everything else. Trust. Intimacy. The ability to work through hard things without doing permanent damage.

You don't need perfect communication or zero conflict. You need consistency, repair, and regulation.

Like and follow for more on building relationships where both people feel emotionally safe.

01/31/2026

These 10 inner child wounds shape how we love, react, and cope as adults.
Not because you’re broken — but because you adapted.

Here’s what each one really means:

1. Abandonment wound
You fear being left, ignored, or emotionally dropped — so you cling, over-give, or panic when people pull away.

2. Rejection wound
You feel “not good enough” at your core and are highly sensitive to criticism, exclusion, or disapproval.

3. Neglect wound
Your needs weren’t seen or met, so now you struggle to know what you feel, need, or deserve.

4. Betrayal wound
Trust feels unsafe. You expect people to lie, leave, or hurt you — so you stay guarded or hyper-aware.

5. Shame wound
You carry a deep sense that you are wrong, bad, or flawed — not just that you made mistakes.

6. Guilt wound
You feel responsible for everything and everyone. You apologize a lot and struggle to let yourself be human.

7. Emotional suppression wound
You learned feelings weren’t safe, so you numb, intellectualize, or shut down instead of expressing emotions.

8. Unworthiness wound
You believe love, rest, or success must be earned — and feel uncomfortable receiving without “proving” yourself.

9. Fear of conflict wound
Disagreement feels dangerous. You avoid hard conversations, people-please, or stay silent to keep the peace.

10. Over-control wound
You try to manage everything — yourself, others, outcomes — because unpredictability once felt unsafe.

These wounds are survival responses.
And survival patterns can be healed. 🌿

Which one feels most familiar to you? 💬

⸻

Hashtags

01/30/2026

Your stomach and intestines are deeply connected to your emotional world — this is why stress, fear, and trauma often show up as gut symptoms.

The intestines are a major part of your digestive and nervous system connection, often called the gut–brain axis. This system allows constant communication between your brain and your digestive tract through nerves, hormones, and the immune system. When you feel anxious, overwhelmed, unsafe, or emotionally burdened, your body doesn’t just “think” it — it processes it physically.

That’s why trauma and chronic stress can lead to:
• stomach aches
• nausea
• bloating
• IBS symptoms
• loss of appetite or emotional eating
• tightness in the belly

Your gut contains millions of neurons and is sometimes called the “second brain.” When your nervous system is in survival mode (fight, flight, freeze), digestion slows down because your body is focused on protection — not processing food. Over time, unprocessed emotions and long-term stress can dysregulate this system.

This idea became widely known through trauma researcher Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score. His work showed that trauma is not only stored in memories but also in the body and nervous system, including the gut. He helped shift the understanding that healing trauma requires body-based approaches, not just talking about the past. When people feel chronic fear, shame, or helplessness, these emotional states can manifest as physical sensations — especially in areas like the stomach and intestines.

Your body is not overreacting.
It’s communicating.
Symptoms are signals, not weaknesses.

Healing often involves learning how to feel safe in the body again through:
breathing, grounding, somatic work, gentle movement, and emotional processing.



​ore

01/30/2026

01/30/2026

01/29/2026

Fun Intuitive Art Process

01/29/2026

01/28/2026

Join the Free Summit Learn from 50+ world-class experts the secrets to optimizing body connection and self-care The Embodiment Summit Come home to your body, achieve a balanced lifestyle and deepen your knowledge, completely free. Start this coming Monday Speakers 0 + ATTENDEES 0 + Hours of Content....