01/09/2023
The first time I put myself on a diet I was 8 years old.
My Mom had brought home some xeroxed copies of magazine articles describing the Cabbage Soup Diet and the Grapefruit Diet.
I'd read them and asked what a diet was.
She said that she and my Dad wanted to lose weight and these would help them do that.
At the time, I was being bullied, as a first grader, about my body size by several boys my age. I remember having thoughts like, "Why did I get this body? Why can't I be skinny like everyone else? Why do I have to special things to get smaller?"
"Special things" like go on restrictive diets that centered foods I didn't even like.
Food became a punishment. I didn't feel good about myself unless I was hungry and in contempt of the foods I did allow myself to eat.
Thus began an 18 year dysfunctional relationship with food and my body.
I starved. I yo-yo'd. I obsessively weighed, measured, and criticized myself. I suffered from body dysmorphia.
The only thing I happily consumed was diet culture. I found peace in the hope of each new diet program I saw on TV or read about in magazines.
In 2008, on New Year's Eve day, I joined a gym and weighed-in at 186 lbs. That's the most weight my 5' 0" frame had ever carried. And I was fu***ng miserable.
Over the next 2.5 years, I gradually lost 67 lbs.
2 years into the journey, I started a holistic health coaching program, and it wasn't until then that my relationship with food and my body really started to shift.
A massive unlearning of the diet culture that had poisoned me since childhood would be the thing to help me shift my personal paradigms.
After several years of being a wholistic health coach and continuing to experiment with my own body's needs and desires for food and nourishment, I started to really see the value in approaching the process intuitively.
I made a complete shift from a calorie-based approach to eating to a cravings-based approach to eating.
And I can honestly say, I've never looked back.
I currently have no idea how much I weigh or what size I am. I haven't measured a portion size, counted a calorie, or looked at a dress size in a decade.
I eat what I CRAVE and what tastes good in the moment.
I eat how much I want, when I want.
I eat with the seasons, I eat with my cycles.
And most importantly, I don't worry about any of it.
I have a healthy, complex relationship with my body. We know how to communicate. And we don't thrive on punishment anymore.
If this is something that resonates with you, I teach a course called CRAVINGS. In its current format, it is a 28-day education, inspiration and mindfulness experience designed to guide you through shifting your personal paradigms about food and nourishment. You'll receive daily curriculum to your inbox and are free to process and participate on your own time and at your own pace.
If you'd like to participate or have any questions, send me a DM or text to 614-600-2560.
May we all find what we crave and what truly feeds us,
Megan