07/30/2025
Vulnerable Share
I’ve been a doula since 2020. I started this path 7 months postpartum—engorged, leaking, unsure how to even advocate for myself, let alone anyone else. I remember being too afraid to ask for a break to pump. I was deep in new motherhood, and yet something in me knew I was meant to support other women through theirs.
Since then… I’ve survived COVID, a divorce, rebuilding my life, and what it feels like to finally be with a partner who supports my calling rather than fears it.
At 2am this morning, I left to support a VBAC mama. Something about this one felt different.
There was no scrambling. No chess game of last-minute childcare. My kids were already with their dad—and as I walked out the door, doula bag in hand, it hit me:
This is what it feels like to be present.
And in that moment, I could feel just how much I’ve been carrying. Every 3am drop-off, every 24+ hour stretch without seeing my babies. Every time I’ve tiptoed out, torn between two sacred callings: being a mother, and supporting mothers.
It takes a village—not just for the birthing woman, but for the doula too. This job is sacred. And heavy. And beautiful. And often invisible.
But sometimes, the ease catches up to you. And you realize you’ve made it to a new season.
To my fellow birth professionals: I see you.
To the moms doing this work while mothering your own: I feel you.
To the version of me that started this journey unsure and afraid—you made it, babe. You’re still making it.
And to my babies—I miss you every time I leave. But I hope one day you’ll know why I did.
