10/08/2025
The Chronic Helper Who Refuses to Be Helped: A Memoir â¤ď¸âđŠš
The fixer: the one who rushes in, hands full of answers no one asked for.
They collect solutions like treasures, offering them freely, as if healing others will quiet their own restless ache.
They thrive on projectsâespecially when the project is a person.
And still, they are the same voice urging you to slow down, while rarely honoring that plea themselves.
If this feels familiar, youâre not alone. Itâs me, too.
We mean wellâour hearts are stitched with careâbut sometimes our offerings land like medicine in the wrong dose.
Boundaries blur when self-sacrifice is praised as devotion, when exhaustion is mistaken for love.
It becomes a badge we wear, heavy but shining.
But what if it didnât have to be this way?
What if we chose reciprocity over martyrdom?
What if boundaries were honored as sacred, and care flowed both ways, like water returning to its source?
Without healing, we are not fixingâwe are re-enacting.
And the hardest truth for the fixer is this:
The antidote is not doing more.
It is daring, instead, to do less.
