09/09/2023
The opposite of trust is control.
If you find yourself micro-managing or trying to control a situation, ask yourself: What is it that I don't trust?
Instead of seeking to control, find ways to establish and build trust.
Awareness of your thoughts and behaviors is the first step.
Controlling behaviors are easy to dismiss or make excuses for because we feel that when we control, we influence the outcome: If we don't control, the project fails, the client won't be satisfied, the work won't be completed satisfactorily, etc.
Sometimes we think that control is a faster, more direct route to accomplishing goals.
Trust takes time, effort, and energy.
Control seems like a simple shortcut.
When we have awareness, we catch ourselves thinking things like: "I'll take over this meeting, and we'll close this deal. The team can't do it. I'll handle it myself."
Sometimes we are the best person for the job. However, if we find the solution is always, "I'll do it myself," then it might be worthwhile to explore our experiences with trust.
When did we learn our first lessons of trust? As a child with our parents, in school with our classmates, in community with our fellow citizens.
With whom did we experience a breach of trust? Was there an influential figure in early life who broke our trust?
What lessons did that teach us about trust? Can we only depend on ourselves to get things done?
Having awareness of our behaviors opens the door to exploration.
Exploration leads us to our truth.
In our truth, we learn where we abandoned trust.
Why we abandoned trust is what built our need for control.
When we re-establish trust within ourselves, we feel less desire for control.
We are more open to trusting others.
Where trust exists, teams and communities exceed expectations.
