08/06/2025
WHAT ARE FLYING MONKEYS AND HOW TO DEAL WITH THEM.......
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The term "FLYING MONKEYS" comes from the classic film The Wizard of Oz. The wicked witch of the West enlisted these creatures to do her bidding. They followed her instructions regardless of their evil intent.
Interestingly, when she died, the MONKEYS celebrated. It seemed they weren’t inherently evil themselves, but followed her out of fear and conditioning.
In psychology, the term has come to describe people who do a NARCISSIST'S bidding. If you’ve ever set boundaries with a NARCISSIST, it will be a FLYING MONKEY who approaches you to smooth things over.
By smooth over, I mean gaslight, trick, guilt trip, and manipulate. I’ve been on the receiving end of FLYING MONKEYS in both in-law and family of origin relationships.
Dysfunctional families tend to cater to the most TOXIC PERSON in the bunch. Much like the wicked witch in The Wizard of Oz. The other family members do everything in their power to keep the TOXIC PERSON happy.
All the while the NARCISSIST/TOXIC PERSON is sitting back and watching someone else do their dirty work. They enjoy the feeling of being above the person they are persecuting. And gaslighting them into believing they are the toxic one.
FLYING MONKEYS lack empathy, integrity, have weak wills, and only want to keep things the way they are. They may seek to avoid the wrath of the NARCISSIST/TOXIC PERSON. Or they want to appear as a fixer and enjoy the attention.
Whatever the reason, beware ! You thought dealing with the NARCISSIST was bad enough. Now you’ve got to fend off her FLUNKIES off, too.
Dealing with flying monkeys can be challenging, but there are strategies you can use to protect yourself and maintain your boundaries:
1. Recognize the flying monkeys for what they are: Understand that they are not acting in your best interest, but rather in the interest of the narcissist or toxic person. Don't fall for their manipulative tactics.
2. Set boundaries: Clearly communicate your boundaries and stick to them. Don't engage with the flying monkeys or allow them to manipulate you into feeling guilty or responsible for the toxic person's behavior.
3. Seek support: Surround yourself with people who understand and validate your experiences. Seek therapy or counseling to help you process and cope with the situation.
4. Practice self-care: Take care of yourself emotionally, mentally, and physically. Practice self-love and self-compassion, and engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
5. Limit contact: If possible, limit or cut off contact with the flying monkeys and the toxic person. Protect your peace and well-being by keeping a healthy distance from toxic individuals.
Remember, you are not alone in dealing with flying monkeys. Stay strong, trust your instincts, and prioritize your own well-being above all else.
I PRAY THAT THIS HELPS.....
Coach A
