The Counseling Spot, PLLC

Good friends and best friends are so important. Whether you have one or many doesn't matter. What matters is that there is someone who listens and wants to know what's happening in your life, and someone with whom you can have adventures in life. Maybe they're the same person. However many you have, know that you are important to them. They love and care about you. They support you and want the best for you. That's what friends do. You need at least one good friend in your life, and if you also have a best friend that's even better. If you feel lonely and don't believe you have friends, it could be that you haven't noticed them. Cultivate the relationships you have to find them. If it's truly that those in your life don't measure up, and sometimes this is the case, it's time to get out of your comfort zone. You deserve friends; good friends and best friends. Find the people you want in your life and nurture those relationships. If they don't grow with your nourishment, maybe they weren't good seeds for your garden. There are many more to choose from. Find the ones who will grow with you. #friendship #connection #relationships #bestfriends #goodfriends #quotes #ThursdayQuote #ThursdayThoughts #dailyquote

Independence, dependence, co-dependence... these words are thrown around a lot with respect to relationships. They are also often misused, confused or conflated. Being dependent isn't necessarily negative. Being independent isn't necessarily positive. Being co-dependent is not the same as being interdependent. It's important to understand the differences especially in terms of your relationships with others. Humans are meant to "couple." You were designed to be in a relationship with someone else, to be interdependent with someone. This is how you continue to grow. Going through life with someone who depends on you and who you can depend on is what makes life rich and rewarding. Fierce independence is independence gone rogue. Just as you were designed to connect to others, you were also designed to be independent. It's a natural part of human development to grow from dependence to independence, to be able to take care of yourself and make your own decisions. Independence has never meant being alone. It's always meant being able to independently function which isn't the same as being alone. You can be independent and be connected to others. You can maintain you independence in and interdependent relationship. This is the gray area that's so often difficult to live in, where life gets messy. Learn to value your independence and honor your need for connection at the same time. Neither is more important than the other and both are necessary for your overall happiness and contentment. #Therapy #Relationships #RelationshipGoals #PersonalGrowth #Love #Commitment #Independence #Connection #WordOfTheDay

How do you define your worthiness? By your successes? By your failures? What you have or have not done does not define you. Your worth does increase or decrease because of what you've done or haven't done. You will disappoint others in life. You may even disappoint yourself. This doesn't change the fact that you are worthy of love, compassion, kindness, respect and so much more. #DailyQuote #WednesdayWisdom #SelfCompassion #YouAreWorthy #YouMatter #MentalHealth

Your inner critic lives in your head. Like a squeaky wheel it gets your attention in the most annoying ways. Self-doubt, fear, and low self-esteem often come from the constant chatter of your critic. It beats you down. Sometimes its voice is so loud you can't hear anything else. If you can turn down down the volume you might be able to hear the voice of self compassion. This voice lives in you as well, you just can't always hear it. It lives in your heart and it's not as loud or as noisy as the critic. It's an important part of yourself, a voice that seeks to be heard. Quiet your critic and listen to your compassionate voice. #TuesdayThoughts #MentalHealthMatters #SelfCompassion #InternalCritic #SelfLove

Your life has purpose and value, even if you can't always feel it or see it. Remind yourself daily and as often as you need to hear it. Say it even if you don't yet believe it. Every day of your life matters because you matter. #DailyAffirmation #Affirmations #TuesdayVibes #YourPurpose #Love #SelfLove #YouMatter #YouAreImportant

Anxiety doesn't have to be debilitating. Trying to avoid it won't free you from it. Accepting it, knowing that it's there and how it works, empowers you. You can rid yourself of its grip. Then you will be free to be and do what's really you. #MentalHealthMonday #Affirmations #Anxiety #MondayAffirmation

When someone really listens to us, really connects with us and our story, we feel it. It's an experience that's not easy to describe. We often describe it as being "seen." The one who feels seen is not the only one who feels something profound in that moment. The listener has a similar experience. The act of truly listening is an art. Listening to what isn't said but is clearly communicated, leaning in, and tuning out the noise around you is much more difficult than people realize. When you truly listen to someone, you learn things. Of course you learn things about them, but you also learn things about yourself. When you connect with another human being's experience you find places within yourself that have been quietly sitting in the dark just waiting for someone to shine a light on them. In truly listening to them, suddenly you are not alone. That part of you is no longer in the dark. The experience is transformative for you both. #Listen #WednesdayWisdom #MentalHealth #CarlRogers #PersonCenteredTherapy #Connection #Love

Every step you take moves you along in your journey. You don't have to have it all figured out. Just keep going one minute, one day, one step at a time. #KeepGoing #Affirmations #DailyAffirmation #MentalHealthMatters #OneDayAtATime #DoTheNextRightThing #Recovery #Life #Grief #LifeGoals

We know it's true, so we'll spare you the quote and instead we wish you a very good morning! We hope you're coffee is made just the way you like it! #TheSunIsUp #GoodMorning #Tuesday #CoffeeMatters #SpringForward #HaveAGreatDay

The shame spiral is a powerful vortex. It's energy and power comes from the beliefs we have about ourselves. So often we come to believe that we're defined by the mistakes of our pasts. You are more than your mistakes. Whatever it is you've done in the past that you're not proud of, it doesn't define you as a person. People will judge you, but the most damaging judgement is that you give to yourself. You were born into this world clean and pure. That is who you are. You've been affected by things that have happened to you since your birth and you've responded or reacted to those things in many different ways. How you've acted doesn't define you. What defines you is how you move forward through your life. You have strength, power, love, courage, beauty, kindness and capabilities. Nothing you've done in the past has taken those things away from you. #TrueSelf #MentalHealthMonday #Affirmations #Quotes #Encouragement #Inspiration #MondayMessage

It's amazing how much our furry family members can help us with our emotions. The physical, mental and emotional benefits include lower blood pressure, decreased anxiety and feelings of connection and love. If you have a pet, you know... #PetTherapy #EmotionalSupportAnimal #PetsAreFamily #MentalHealthMatters #PuppyLove #MentalHealthMonday

Let only those bring you peace have access to your heart. Your heart is precious and so is your love. #Love #Peace #ThursdayVibes #Quote #YouMatter

Your relationships should be enhancing your life. In healthy relationships we grow. If you're not growing, or worse if you're being stifled, then it's time take inventory. Who in your life brings out the best in you? Who holds you up and pushes you forward? Who sings your praises? Who grows with you? They are the ones who serve your best interest. Keep them and nurture those relationships. Who hold you back? Who pushes you down? Who criticizes you? Who stifles your growth? They are not serving your best and highest good. They are not enhancing your life. Let them go. Free up the room to include more positive relationships in your life. You deserve it. #ThursdayQuotes #DailyReminder #HealthyRelationships #RelationshipGoals #KeepGrowing #PositiveInfluences #YouMatter #YouDeserveMore

It's easy to fall into the trap of focusing on the ones who hurt you. Asking "why," trying to make sense of what makes others do what they do, questioning yourself...it drains your energy. Focusing on them and what they've done gives them more power over you. Don't let anyone steal your power. Don't let anyone who's hurt you take up precious space in your head or your heart. Instead, focus on those who pull you up when you're down. Focus on the people in your life who replenish your energy and are there when you need them. That's what matters. #Friendship #Trust #Support #ThursdayQuote #FindYourTribe

Have you heard this one before? You might have heard it from a loved one after sharing how you feel in the relationship and what you need from them. It's frustrating! And it's BS. If they say they're sorry and then say essentially that they don't intend to change, are they really sorry? We all have room to grow, and that includes growing up. Growing up means being able to reflect on ourselves and our relationships and take other people's perspectives into account. It also means doing something with that information, something that moves us deeper into our relationships. If it feels like you're in a relationship with a teenager, you probably are. Not literally, of course. They may be of adult age, but that doesn't mean they're grown up. #GrowYourselfUp #Adulting #Tuesday #Quotes #DailyQuote #TuesdayMessage #Relationships #RelationshipGoals

You have great power to affect the world. Even if you can't feel it, it's there. It's always there. Power can be a scary thing, especially if you've not had practice with it. You may even fear your own power. Don't be afraid of it. Power is only dangerous when it's wielded irresponsibly. We can use our power in dangerous ways or we can use it in beautiful ways. Your love is powerful. Share it with the world. #Love #Power #Quotes #ThursdayQuote #YouMatter #SelfLove #BeKind

It's not about the destination, it's about being able to enjoy the drive. Depression, anxiety, complicated grief, trauma and other mental health obstacles make the road bumpy at best, agonizing at worst. Your #mentalhealthmatters #WellnessWednesday #YouMatter #MentalHealth #Life #Love #Trauma #Depression #Anxiety

The definition of compassion is concern for others. You probably have quite a lot of it for friends, family, even strangers. If you're like a lot of us, you don't have much compassion for yourself. It's very common in our society to save all our compassion for others. Do we not deserve compassion for ourselves? How'd we come to believe the compassion within us was only for others? More importantly, how did YOU come to believe your compassion belong solely to others? You need and deserve self-compassion. Sometimes it is what you need most. It's also what's most available (if you leave some for yourself). Give compassion freely to others, but always save some for yourself. #Self_Compassion #YouMatter #BeKind #MondayMessage #DailyReminder #YouAreWorthy

On the good days and the bad days, be kind to your mind. Pay attention to the things you say about your yourself. Pay attention to the people you allow into your life. Pay attention to the ways in which other people's beliefs become your own and be kind to your mind. Protect your mind from those people, those thoughts, those false beliefs. Protect it from blame and stop yourself from attacking it. There is nothing wrong with your mind. It just needs your compassion. #Compassion #MentalWellness #MentalHealthMatters #BeKind #WednesdayMood #DailyReminder

Listening is an active & thoughtful process used to understand another person. Listening builds connection. We feel closer to those who really listen. Hearing is passive. It doesn't require our attention. We hear all kinds of things, but we aren't always tuned in to everything we hear. Anyone can hear you. Not everyone will listen. When someone really listens you can feel it. It feels warm and loving. You feel valuable and understood. It feels like empathy. If you feel dismissed or your experience is being minimized, someone isn't really listening. They may be hearing you, but that's not listening. Anyone can hear you. Find the ones who listen. #TuesdayTips #HowTo #Listen #Empathy #ActiveListening #Connection #RelationshipGoals

It can be tough to relax and wind down at the end of the day. We hold all the stress and tension from the day in our bodies even if we don't realize it. Trouble sleeping is often the result of holding in all that stress and tension. Sometimes it's a struggle to get to sleep. Sometimes the trouble is staying asleep or getting back to sleep. Either way trouble sleeping is a frustrating problem. You may think trouble sleeping is just the way it is for you, that you're used to it. Remember though, you can be used to something and it can still be a problem. Poor sleep can exacerbate stress. Not enough quality sleep can increase anxiety and depression and make it more difficult to manage emotions. Lack of quality sleep can also cause brain fog, trouble concentrating and completing tasks. In short, good sleep is pretty important to your mental health and overall wellbeing. This relaxation exercise is something you can do any time of the day or night. If you use it during the day as a way to recenter yourself and relax, you'll want to stop once you become relaxed and before you become sleepy. Practicing this during the day is a good way to get the pace down and learn the technique so that you can use it any time. You don't have to do it perfectly. Consistency is more important than perfection. The more you practice it, the more natural it will become. This technique isn't going to solve all your sleep problems. If trouble sleeping is a chronic problem for you it's probably worth talking to your doctor or even a counselor or therapist. In the mean time, give this a try tonight. We wish you a peaceful nights sleep. #JustBreathe #GoodNight #Insomnia #Relaxation #LongDay #MentalHealthMonday #SelfCare #SleepMatters #YouMatter

With strangers, choose kindness. With friends, choose kindness. With family, choose kindness. With co-workers, choose kindness. With nature, choose kindness. With yourself, choose kindness. Always. Because you deserve kindness. Always. #RAK2022 #ThursdayThoughts #ChooseKindness #Kindness #BeKind #SelfLove #YouMatter

We think it should be easy to be kind, but sometimes choosing kindness means doing something that's uncomfortable for us. Whether it's stepping out of our comfort zone or biting our tongue, being kind doesn't always feel good in the moment. It's what we get in return makes it worth it. #ChooseKindness #ThursdayVibes #Love #BeKind #KindnessMatters #DailyReminder

#GoodMorningBeautiful! Today is #RandomActsOfKindnessDay. When you think of random acts of kindness, what comes to mind? Most often we think about random acts of kindness as ways to spread kindness and joy to others. Doing so can increase our own happiness in the process. On this day, we'd like you to consider adding yourself to the list of humans who deserve a random act of kindness. What random act of kindness can you give to yourself? What small thing can you do for yourself today, something that will feel special? When we have self-love we recognize that we deserve kindness. We know our worth. We have love to share, and we also save some love left over for ourselves. Self-love is not selfish. On this day, find a way to show yourself kindness. Let yourself feel the love inside of you. Nurture it. As you perform random acts of kindness for others, notice how that love inside you grows. Begin this day with a random act of kindness toward yourself. You deserve it. #RandomActsOfKindnessDay #RAK2022 #SelfLove #ThursdayThoughts #GoodMorning #YouMatter #BeKind #KindnessCounts #Love

What's on your To-Do list? If you're like me there are a few things that are ALWAYS on the list. That's because they're important every day, not just some days. Here are 3 to-do items to add to your daily list. Doing these things every day, or at least most days, will absolutely make a difference over time. Try it and see! 1. Every day look in the mirror and affirm yourself in some way. "I am good enough" is one affirmation, but there area hundreds! Choose your affirmation carefully. What is it you want to feel, think or believe? What do you need to hear to keep you going? "It's going to be okay" is an affirmation that can help with anxiety since anxiety loves us to believe the worst will happen. "I can handle whatever happens today" is another affirmation that stares anxiety in the face and says "Not today you don't!" You affirmation can be anything that empowers you. 2. Doing one thing different, no matter how small, can have a tremendous impact on your success. Maybe today you read your emails differently. Maybe instead of reading them first thing in the morning you read them in your first 30 minutes at work. Maybe today you leave for work a bit earlier or later than normal. Instead of waiting for someone to call, call them first. Wear a new color. Change your hairstyle. Take a new route on your daily walk or commute. Practice a new dance move. Do just one thing differently. Small changes in your daily routine are good for your brain and good for your mood. 3. Every day at either the beginning or end of the day, take a minute to just reflect on your small (or big) successes and accomplishments. Maybe they seem insignificant, but even small things can be huge accomplishments. Did you respond differently to something today? Were you able to let something slide that normally would have bothered you? Did you manage to complete that task that's been weighing on you? Did you do the thing you've been avoiding doing? Did you wake up on time? Get to work early? Finis

We all have bad days. Sometimes nothing goes right. Even things we know we can do turn out wrong. Sometimes there is absolutely nothing we can do about it because there are circumstances beyond our control. Those are the worst! It's so frustrating to have no control over the outcome of something important. Learning to manage that frustration is important to our overall wellbeing. It's literally a waste of your energy to worry about things that you can't change. It's also a waste of energy to spend time dwelling on things that go wrong. Allow yourself to be angry and frustrated, then forgive yourself and try again tomorrow. You have better places to spend your energy than on your bad days. #DailyReminder #WednesdayWisdom #TryAgain #Tomorrow #NeverGiveUp #KeepGoing #SomeDaysSuck #BeWell

Start living your own life today. Prioritize your personal sense of self in all it's glory and flaws. Challenge yourself to go against the grain and do something to fulfill your true self. Lots of people have ideas about who you are and who you should be, what you do and what you should do, but you're not living their lives. You're living your life. You have only one lifetime. Live it honestly. #TrueSelf #WednesdayWisdom #MorningMessage #DailyReminder #WhoAreYou #BeYou #YouMatter

As you go to sleep tonight, remind yourself that tomorrow is another day. Take time to let your mind and body relax. Breath in peace and calm, breath out all that remains of the day. Release any lingering stress, anxiety, sadness, or disappointment. Breath in fresh hope, peaceful thoughts and healing love. Tomorrow comes with a whole new light. #goodnight #newday #peace #love #relaxation #Quotes #TuesdayThoughts #TuesdayNight

This week is Random Acts of Kindness week, but you can act at random with kindness at any time! What might seem like nothing to you might feel very special to someone else. Need some ideas? * Hold the door for someone * Compliment a stranger * Send a card to someone you haven't spoken to in a long time * Call someone who'd love to hear your voice * Pay for lunch for the table next to you * Leave a larger tip than usual * Say Thank You first to the person who takes your order * Write an email to a company to let them know what a great experience you had * Let management know when one of their employees is especially helpful or kind * Ask the person waiting on you how their day is going (and listen) * Send flowers to someone anonymously * When you visit your parents, take out the trash or clean up the kitchen after dinner * Take a family member shopping for something they wouldn't normally buy for themselves * Go to visit with someone who rarely leaves the house You can probably think of MANY more ways to act randomly with kindness. Comment with your ideas! #Kindness #Love #RandomActsOfKindness #BeKind #TuesdayTips #ThoughtForTheDay #Reminder #DailyMessage

Always remember and never forget: if you believe in yourself as much as others believe in you, you'll never worry that you're not enough. When you know in your heart that you're enough--good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, nice enough, tough enough, kind enough--then you'll never be beaten down. Don't let anyone beat you down. Don't let their negativity and toxicity get under your skin. Know your worth. If you don't know it yet, start by realizing how much those you love and trust believe in you. That's your goal. From there you can go as far as your heart will take you. Remember: you are enough. #WednesdayReminder #DailyReminder #Affirmations #Believe #KeepGoing #NeverGiveUp #YouMatter #SelfWorth #SelfLove