28/08/2025
🚨TRIGGER WARNING 🚨
Today is my 5th baby’s 5th birthday (well, technically my 4th baby)… although most of you only see me as a mom of 4. That’s because Kayden was born sleeping: 28 weeks on August 28th, 2020. 💔
It’s strange how so much time, and so many happy memories, have passed, yet it still plays in my mind like a movie I watched yesterday. Every scene etched into my brain, like a broken remote stuck on one channel… no matter how much I want to change it, I can’t. Especially on days like today.
For the longest time, I believed healing meant pretending it never happened; just moving on, like I could erase it. But the truth is, I couldn’t. And I wasn’t supposed to.
What I’ve learned is that joy and sorrow can coexist.
That healing isn’t about forgetting.
That my health struggles were deeply connected to trauma my body was holding.
The questions most doctors never asked:
→ How does loss imprint itself on the nervous system?
→ Why was my body struggling to process everything: nutrients, hormones, emotions.
→ What happens when grief gets stored not just in our hearts, but in our biology?
When I finally began decoding my nervous system patterns, hormone shifts, and methylation issues, everything started to make sense:
– The fatigue that sleep couldn’t fix
– The anxiety that felt like it had no origin
– The “puffiness” despite doing “everything right”
– The way my body held trauma like it was still happening
Today marks my stillborn’s birthday. And while the ache will never fully leave, I choose both/and:
❤️🩹Both remembering AND celebrating life.
❤️🩹Both honoring loss AND pursuing dreams.
❤️🩹Both feeling deeply AND moving forward.
Your body keeps the score - but it also holds the blueprint for healing. When we stop overriding its signals and start listening, everything shifts.
If you’re carrying something heavy today, know this: your symptoms are valid, your story matters, and healing is possible.
If you’re not sure where to begin, I created a gentle, no-cost Clarity Reset that might help you take that first step. Quietly, slowly, and in your own rhythm.
I’m always here to talk. Because being alone has ALWAYS been the hardest part… 💔