04/15/2026
I recently read Atomic Habits by James Clear.
I know, I know… I’m a little late to the party on that one.
I’m an avid reader, and I just have a very large stack of books to get through.
When it comes to habits and systems, he’s right about a lot of things, especially when he talks about how difficult it is for people to change.
He does a great job at breaking down the parts of a habit and how to build new ones.
But what I see with my clients are subconscious patterns that weren't addressed as much in the book.
If it’s a habit they actually like, they don’t want to stop even when they know they need to.
Even when it's become destructive to their health, relationships, and work.
Since I'm all about recognizing patterns, I ask them two questions.
First: do you actually like this habit?
Most of the time, the answer is yes because at some point, that habit brought them wealth, comfort, or it's something they genuinely enjoyed.
Then I ask the second question:
Is it still working for you to give you the results you want?
And this is where you get the truth because now the answer is usually no.
They like the habit, but it’s not working anymore.
It's only after these 2 questions they realize how it’s actually become destructive to what they say they want next.
Sometimes it used to work and doesn’t now.
Sometimes it’s actively pulling them in the opposite direction.
And they’re still doing it.
Not because they don’t know better but because they like it.
Habits are tied to identity in a very deep way.
So, it’s not just about changing the habit.
It’s understanding why you created it in the first place.
Because from your brain’s perspective, familiar means safe even when it’s no longer serving you.
Even when it’s actively working against you.
So now you’re in a position where something feels good…but it’s not getting you where you want to go.
If the answer is yes, I like it, and no, it’s not working…
That’s where change stops being optional and starts working against your growth, health, happiness, and sanity.
If this resonates, DM me to learn more about working together to spot patterns and create habits that work with the next version of you.