12/16/2024
I mentioned CO-REGULATION in my last post. Here is what you need to know (don’t skip the last step!)
Kids need their primary caregiver to learn how to regulate their BIG emotions…this takes YEARS of repetition and practice together.
Steps to CO-REGULATE:
1) validate and normalize their experience: “you feel so sad your sister wouldn’t share that with you, that is so hard, I understand.
2) offer comfort and soothing (rocking, physical contact, singing, movement etc) with PATIENCE. Sometimes it takes longer than you think to move through emotions and start to feel better. Continue to validate.
3) once they are calm and their brain comes back online, you normalize and validate again because it will process differently this time. Now you can offer creative solutions that are desirable to the child.
4) **THIS ONE IS CRUCIAL** reconnect them to their body…”that was some big feeling, I wonder where you noticed that in your body?” Once they tell you where in their body the emotion was felt, you are going to teach them to experience emotions as safe and give them a sense of control back with this hack: “you feel your sadness in your heart, let’s put your hand on there and give it a hug with our mind, I’ll give it a hug too, until it starts to feel better. It just needs a little extra love.” This increases mind body awareness, teaches them that it is safe to be present with their emotions, and allows the energy of the emotion to fully clear their system. (Pro tip: this works on adults too 🤪)
