07/01/2024
No surprises here. Although the study did not stipulate if this question was asked during summer break or not. 😎🍦✌️
Kelly Jameson, PhD, LPC-S is a therapist and public speaker. She works with adolescents and adults on life’s tough issues, both big and small.
On the road, she excites audiences with educational and engaging presentations! www.drkellyjameson.com
No surprises here. Although the study did not stipulate if this question was asked during summer break or not. 😎🍦✌️
🚦”So we agree you’ll be home by midnight?”
🚦”Let’s agree that you’ll be home by midnight?”
🚦”Can we agree that you’ll be home by midnight?”
Language like this (especially with older teens) implies a partnership, mutual respect and trust. From their perspective, it sounds more like a business deal and makes them feel more grown and respected.
If they fail to be home by midnight, the conversation sounds like this, “I thought we agreed that you would be home by midnight?” This implies THEY dropped the ball rather than breaking YOUR rule.
Just a small turn of phrase helps them be more accountable on a small level.
Give it a try this weekend!
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Ah, summer. How’s it going out there?? Do your kids know what to do with all of this free time? Are you constantly fielding questions about going somewhere? Getting food? Buying something?
Summer gives you a snapshot into your child’s ability to be alone with their thoughts. Interesting, isn’t it? The school year is a complete rat race but summer is an entirely different animal. How’s it going for you?
😎👙⛱️🌞
Summer is a great time to work on self regulation. Try this, offer one hour (for older kids) and 30 minutes for younger kids each day to be alone. No screens, no engagement with anyone else. This can be quiet time in their room, the backyard, the garage. This exercise works best right after a meal.
Sleep-away summer camps do this every day. Rest hour! It’s really a time to recalibrate the nervous system, and it’s good for everyone.
Some may listen to music, draw, clean their rooms, put make-up on, read, Lego’s, stare at the ceiling. Anything. The important thing is that they are experiencing uninterrupted quiet time.
Happy summer to all. 😎⛱️
Give it a try!
Home is your charging station. Outside those doors will drain your emotional and physical battery but home is designed to rest + recharge. 🔋 For you and your kids.
This is a valid and common thought amongst high school graduates-especially if they have been in the same (usually private) school since kinder!
Remind them they have learned so much already that will help them lookout for the kinds of friends they want to make in the next chapter.
You may also brush up on some “how to meet new people” skills like the art of small talk and how to talk about yourself when asked!
Transitions are hard, but also very exciting!
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Don’t throw in the towel just yet! It’s finals week in many schools. Weeks like these can emotionally take down a student with learning differences.
Remind teachers of your child’s accommodations:
•extended time
•quiet room
•use of a laptop
•use of a calculator
•don’t count off for spelling
•having the test read to them
•larger font
Whatever the accommodation, remind teachers! This will help your student feel more confident and capable during these stressful last weeks of school and most teachers appreciate the reminders!
Hang in there! Not too much longer now. 😎☀️⛱️
John Green wrote this iconic book in 2017 and now it’s a movie! It follows the story of Aza, a girl living with OCD and anxiety. If you’ve ever wondered what that must be like this book is a great glimpse into this world of spiraling thoughts. OCD is not just wanting everything organized or washing your hands all the time. It is a complicated and sometimes destructive thought pattern that can interfere and interrupt one’s life.
The book (and now movie) is an honest depiction of the disorder and the treatment. The book actually falls in the YA category so lots of young people are looking into this story once again. I love when pop culture addresses mental health. It reaches so many more people this way!
Turtles All the Way Down is now streaming. I watched it on YouTubeTV. Oh, and I would encourage you to watch it with your teen. There are some sensitive scenes you may need to explain. 🫣
Middle children work harder at their personal relationships for a few reasons:
1. They want their family to be great, because they often feel their family of origin (the family in which they grew up) wasn’t that great. Not necessarily true, but it’s their perception growing up as a middle child-their needs weren’t met, etc.
2. Middle children are the most diplomatic so they make great friends who are good listeners, can solve problems and not get caught up in the drama.
3. They are the most “service oriented” of any birth order so this makes them able to read the needs of those they love.
4. They are secret keepers. They are not going to air your issues, and can be trusted with sensitive situations.
Let’s hear it for middle children! 🎉
Let’s hear it for your mom tribe! The ones you text late night or early morning questions to, the ones you share your frustrations or concerns with. All the pictures! All the reminders! We couldn’t do it without them. 🙌
The trick is to keep them around long after these kids leave the nest. 🧡
Do you have a tribe? How do you stay together after graduation? Would love to hear your best practices for long-term tribe connection!
Even if you have to reach up on your toes! It’s a tough time of life for them too. Much is expected of a teen boy all day and seeing mom should remind them of comfort, love and unconditional acceptance. Plus, lots of good chemicals are released (for both parties) when kids get a hug from mom.
Don’t stop hugging your teenage boy! 🩵🩵🩵
Mean girls are made through insecurities. Plain and simple. They are wildly insecure about themselves so they work to make others feel bad so they can feel better. It’s a tale as old as time.
While it’s so plainly obvious and ridiculously simple to spot in teen girls, it’s not so simple for the girls who find themselves the target of such insecure individuals. If your child is on the receiving end of a mean girl and her minions, work to coach your girl on how mean girls operate and how to respond.
It’s an exercise in power dynamics. Power is fueled by attention and energy. If you pull the plug on attention and energy, power is diminished. (This is usually when you see the mean girl’s minions work to keep up the power by talking about the conflict ad nauseam with whoever will listen and participate, often boys enter the scenario here.)
It’s a formula.
Beginning. Middle. End.
Cause & effect.
Mean moms produce mean girls.
I could go on all day about the psychology of this.
Do you want more mean girl content?
Comment below and let me know. 🩷
This book is gaining some buzz in my professional world. I’m almost finished reading it and it’s good. However, I don’t believe phones are the ONLY reason our kids are so anxious in this generation. I believe it’s ONE factor, but let’s be careful not to panic and throw the baby out with the bath water.
If you are reading this book, please follow it up with “The New Childhood” by Jordan Shapiro for a different perspective on this tech age. 🖍️
Don’t just read one book and go all in on that theory. Read a few and then make your decision. Smart parents are well-read!
I’m just happy so many parents are reading books about their kids in general! We need lots of schools of thought from lots of different professionals to make the best decisions for our specific kids. Happy reading!
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What is a controlling mom? One with rigid thinking, an authoritarian parenting style or an insecure attachment to their child. In this age of over-parenting, controlling moms are everywhere but disguised as well-meaning, involved moms.
Controlling moms (and dads) can cause long term damage to the developing self of a child or adolescent. Controlling moms chip away at self-confidence, personal agency and trust in others. How do you let go of this need to control everything about your child??
New presentation coming for fall 2024 about MOM STYLES. Controlling moms is just one style discussed in this presentation.
Tag or send this to your school or organization to book for the 2024-2025 school year. Calendars for next year are already buzzing! 🗓️📌
For all that is wrong with youth sports, there is also so much good. I just watched my firstborn wrap up his sophomore lacrosse season for his high school team last night. Watching the discipline, dedication and sense of belonging that has come from this experience is simply the best.
Everyone keeps saying his these boys are halfway through high school. Ugh. Don’t rush it. The other common phrase is, “Don’t blink. It goes fast.” Biggest understatement ever, and I hate it…because it’s so true.
Anyway…here’s the summation:
Youth sports - mostly awesome
Growing up - not awesome on a mama’s heart
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Solid advice for raising teens! 🩵
First it’s toys, then it’s birthday parties, then it’s group texts, then it’s exclusive group dinner reservations before a dance, and on and on. Power plays are part of human development and survival. The tricky part is teaching your kids and teens how to manage and maneuver power plays.
Explain what power is inside friend groups. Then talk about strategies. Kids do not have this skill set so it gets messy pretty fast. Teach them when to avoid, when to confront, when to align. All life skills we don’t talk about enough.
Is your child empathetic? Aggressive? Bold? Non-alpha? These factors are going to determine how to coach your child about power plays in friend groups so there is no one blanket statement I can make about tips. It’s individualized and context specific.
I simply encourage you to talk through it with your child or teen so they begin to think through friend dynamics.
Life skills! 🙌
It’s mid April…you know what that means? Moms are busy planning graduations, end-of-year gifts, parties, field days, try-outs for next year, summer camps, vacations, college visits, exams, moves home, baccalaureates, field trips and calendars for next year!
Let’s show moms some love over the next 6 weeks as they do and plan it all!
Moms are the magic! 💫
Mother’s Day is May 12th. 🌷🌷🌷
A late bloomer is a child who goes through puberty later than their peers. The medical term is “constitutional growth delay” and there are a few factors:
1. Family genetic tendency
2. Poor nutrition
3. Too much exercising (imbalance of energy for the body)
4. Under-active thyroid
5. Chronic illness or syndrome that interferes with production and use of sexual hormones.
For girls, this could look like: no breast buds by age 12, no period by age 15. For boys, this could look like no p***c hair by age 15, no enlargement of the testicles by age 14…just to name a few, there are more.
Don’t panic. Every child is different. A Tanner Scale at your pediatrician’s office will help diagnose delayed puberty.
Why am I posting this information? Because late bloomers experience more STRESS than their peers is regards to this slow development. They end up in therapy. They have questions. They are frustrated, sad, mad, envious, or withdrawn.
Therapy is a good place for them to process this experience for themselves. Doctors can be slightly dismissive due to their chronic exposure to this, but for the child or pre-teen experiencing this, it can be absolutely devastating.
If this is your child, please consider therapy.
It will also help YOU, as the parent, process this frustration.
New parenting book. I’ll let you know if this book is, in fact, good inside. Anyone follow Dr. Becky?
Congratulations to this LPC! Nicole has been working with me since she was a summer intern in 2017. Since then, she has earned her bachelor’s, master’s, and is now a FULLY LICENSED THERAPIST 🎉🛋️
She is accepting new patients in the afternoons and evenings! Book with her online at www.drkellyjameson.com
Congratulations, Nicole!! 👏👏👏👏👏
Today in Dallas, all the schools send out their admissions results and announcements for next year. So, what did I do this morning as a mom who is waiting on a few emails myself? I called my tribe. My people. Yes, they are all working today but I just wanted to feel anxious with them and get a moment of support. It worked. Moms need tribes too. 🩷
Tag your people and say thanks for the little moments that mean a lot. 🩷
I spent the afternoon with the women at talking about Women, Work & Worry: A Mental Health Discussion. NYC, Vancouver and LA offices joined us virtually as well.
This is Women’s History Month programming done well. They have activities planned all month for their women!
Well-done, Match🩷
It’s the “of course” at the end that did me in! 🤣 Texts with my 14 year old daughter. What a ride raising teens. Some days you laugh. Some days you cry.
It’s true. They are just annoyed at how deeply they still need us despite the fact that they feel so grown up. Don’t take it personal! 💛
A very important distinction! Many teens report having “friends” but that doesn’t always translate to having a group. Teens tend to under value having good “friends” and over value having a “group” to do things with on the weekends.
This can cause a teen to feel lonely. Remind them going to dinner with one good friend has the same positive impact as a group dinner with 12 so-so people!
Quality over quantity is usually a good thing, but teens don’t always agree in terms of their social calendar. What are your thoughts?
Start them young. Raise them right. “Feelings Doctors” are a real thing and can help at any age. All feelings are valid. 🩵
Not to oversimplify things, but this is a great way to take it down to the basic level. And to complicate things, you can have both at the same time!
What’s a person to do?
Time to talk to a therapist about how to:
1.) IDENTIFY it
2.) UNDERSTAND it
3.) MANAGE it
We got this! You don’t have to live with depression or anxiety disrupting your life for one more day.
Make the call. Ask for help. ☎️
Don’t shoot the messenger! It’s research! Firstborns tend to be more compliant, which makes mom and dad‘s job of parenting smoother, and more pleasant. No surprises here!
Don’t worry, other birth orders have lots of awesome traits, and characteristics, too!
Are you sharenting? (I learned a new word from this book.) Do colleges really look at social media when making decisions? How to manage a PR nightmare for your kid and more! Such a good read by
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