Counseling

01/08/2023

The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt.
- Thomas Merton

04/29/2022

04/28/2022

This was requested by the Dallas County Crime Victim's Council. They chose to use a more scripted one on their website but I felt this was a little more genuine.

04/26/2022

Victims Rights Week

04/26/2022

This week is National Crime Victim's Rights Week. The Dallas Country Crime Victim's Council (which I am a part of) has many resources to assist people who have been victims of crime. You can search their page for resources as well as the website. I will try to share various posts from them throughout this week.

05/28/2021

After so many years of working with clients who have been traumatized, it still surprises me how people tend to blame themselves for being victimized. Everyone deserves to live a life free from the pain that trauma brings.
If you need counseling for trauma, please contact us at 214-883-7073. You can view our website for services offered.
www.collinscounselingcenter.org

03/11/2021

"What mental health needs now is more sunlight, more candor, and more unashamed conversation." // Glenn Close

03/01/2021

How do you get the most out of therapy? Although not every therapist will know how to help you in the way you need, there are ways to improve your ability to access as much as you can from each therapist.

1. Be as honest and thorough as you can. I have a great deal of empathy and I can often sense when someone has experienced trauma, but if someone is unwilling to talk to me about it, it limits my ability to fully help. It can be difficult to share your deepest secrets with someone, but we are generally well-versed in the area of confidentiality.

2. Expect setbacks. Therapy, like economics, is not a linear concept. Most people do not improve without experiencing some, if not many setbacks. It pains me to know that some people will stop going to therapy because they idealized how the process should occur.

3. Expect to be uncomfortable. By nature, we try to find a safe place to be in our lives, but if that place no longer makes you happy, you will need to make changes. Therapy is about growth, and therefore uncomfortable, sometimes painful, and you will instinctively fight the changes in your life. Growth requires discomfort. Push past it, it can be the key to changing everything.

4. Expect to do most of the work. Your therapist is unable to "fix" you (or your child). They are there to guide you towards the changes you want in your life. My ultimate goal for all my clients is to teach them how NOT to need me anymore (unless a new trauma occurs). Ultimately you need to decide if you want your trauma to control you life anymore.

5. Do some research. Not all therapist are good at all things. Sometimes you are limited by insurance restraints, but make sure the therapist you choose has experience in the problem with which you are wanting help.

Write below if you can think of some more ways to get the most out of therapy.

02/13/2021

From the time we begin to hold our children when they cry to when we begin kissing their booboos, we begin to believe that our lot in life is to prevent our children from experiencing any pain or struggle. With the best of intentions, we may enable them by doing things for them they can do for themselves or by keeping them from experiencing the natural consequences of their actions. This is what becomes truly crippling for them. Allowing their struggle (and sometimes their pain) are what makes it necessary for them to fly.



So the next time you feel compelled to protect them from their life experience; ask yourself, do you want them to be crippled? Or do you want them to fly?

If you or your child are in need of counseling please contact us at 214-883-7073. Look at the website at www.collinscounselingcetner.org to view our full list of services.

01/26/2021

Question of the week: My daughter won't go anywhere. She thinks she's fat and ugly and thinks everyone is looking at her and judging her appearance. Since the coronavirus, it's become worse to where she won't leave her room. I looked it up and think it might be body dysmorphia. She is a beautiful girl and is not at all fat and I try to tell her this all the time as have many of her friends, but it she doesn't believe it. Is that what it is and is there a therapy that works best for this?

Based on the information you have provided, it does sound like your daughter may have a body dysmorphic disorder and possibly depression. Body Dysmorphic Disorder is a mental illness where one has a perceived flaw or or imperfection in their appearance which can paralyze their ability to function in daily life. It's often associated with eating disorders (which you did not indicate) and delusional disorders.

A delusion is a false, fixed belief, unchanged by logic. READ THAT AGAIN. So it makes perfect sense to me that your daughter would not believe you or her friends. Every time she looks in a regular mirror, it is as if she is looking through a fun-house mirror. What she sees is a distorted reflection of herself and nothing you can say will change what she believes.

What can you do? She definitely is in need of professional counseling. If she also has an eating disorder, it is possible she will need inpatient treatment depending on how much she is depriving herself. If she is overeating or is eating relatively normally, outpatient or traditional therapy may be fine. I would first need to take a history to determine if this is related to a traumatic issue and when it began. I've had a great deal of success with both EMDR and Hypnotherapy for body dysmorphia. I have certain rules for them as well, such as reduced time looking in the mirror and progressively eating slightly more a day if an eating disorder is attached.

Media has not helped in the least. Almost every image we see is distorted to remove any wrinkles, pores, or cellulite so they appear perfect. We are essentially scored on the images we post and anything that doesn't get enough (likes) or responses are deemed unworthy. It has also become easier to photoshop images on your own if you do no feel it is good enough. In this day and age, we are constantly being judged by our appearance and for young people, it is overwhelming.

My suggestion is that you do not wait to place her in counseling. It can become profoundly worse and many become suicidal.

If you or a loved one are suffering from a body dysmorphic disorder, please look at our website at www.collinscounselingcenter.org or contact us at 214-883-7073.

01/18/2021

This is one of the questions I was asked:
it was written, " 3 things remain, faith, hope and love. and the greatest of these is love." my observance is: many people commit su***de, i believe those people both love and are loved. i believe what they do not have is hope.SO, which is greater/necessary....thoughts? thanks

I will try and answer your questions in a round-a-bout way and hope that is fully answers your question.

The basis of su***de is usually depression. Not the depression that most people experience when something bad happens, but an overwhelming, profound emptiness that envelopes someone's every waking moment.

Imagine the worst moment of your life and how bad you felt. Now imagine feeling that way all day every day for a week, a month. What about a year or ten years. Any good moments that occur are over-shadowed by the depression that continues to eat away at everything you are.

I tell my clients to think of depression as a small animal living inside your soul. When you feed it by isolating yourself and staying in bed all day, not sleeping or eating, overthinking (for people with depression or anxiety, thinking too much is detrimental) your depression grows and grows, until there isn't any more of you left. In essence, having a major depressive disorder is like a possession. Not of the demonic type, but as a force that inundates and overcomes your every thought and replaces it with hopelessness and powerlessness.

Depression can take a life of it's own. Although anyone who commits su***de is most certainly loved, perhaps by many people, their depression might tell them that no one loves them, but more than likely it will tell them that their loved ones will be better off without them. They convince themselves that although their loved ones might be sad initially, they will eventually understand and be okay.

Depression will make people feel hopeless. Their depression will make them believe that they will never feel better, that no one can help them, and if they continue to live they will feel this horrible forever. In that sense, they lack faith in their ability to every feel "normal" again, they lack faith that anyone can help them, and they lack faith that they have a future that won't be ruled by how they feel.

So how can you help someone that is severely depressed?
Take away the stigma of seeking help and participating in counseling (do not do this yourself), take away the stigma of possibly needing medicine, and make sure they know they are not alone. Remind them of their connections, even if it's a pet. If they have a faith, help them reconnect to it (Realize it doesn't necessarily remove their need for therapy).

What not to do? Don't tell them to snap out of it. Don't tell them that they just need to think positively or that they just need to be thankful.

DO NOT wait to see if it will get better on it's own. Participating in counseling is imperative. There are occasions when people who commit su***de appear to be better and happier because they have made the definitive decision to commit su***de. They feel happier because they know their pain will end soon.

If you or a loved one is severely depressed and may need counseling for su***de, you can contact Collins Counseling Center at 214-883-7073. We provide in-office and telehealth therapy. I have also listed a su***de hotline on this post which can also provide alternate referrals should you so choose.

If you have other questions about this or other mental health concerns, you can post them or message me directly, and I will try to answer to the best of my ability.

01/14/2021

I promised that when I opened this page, I would not post more than twice a week (this is an exception). I've liked people's pages before and been inundated with posts so I've had to "unlike" as quickly as I've "liked". I've been a counselor for almost 30 years. I've worked with everything from mental illness and addiction to trafficking and assault, to people who have been victim's of crime (Any crime conceivable) so if you want me to post about a specific topic I'll be happy to discuss what I've seen in the many years I've worked, the books I've read, and the trainings in which I've participated. Understand that it might be a while before I answer since I'm only posting twice a week.
If you would like to participate in counseling. Contact us at www.collinscounselingcenter.org

01/12/2021

I am happy to announce that I have hired another counselor to work as a play therapist. She will be working with mostly children and adolescents and has previously worked as an educator. Please go to the website for more information. www.collinscounselingcenter.org/therapists

She is unable to accept insurance and her fees will be based on a sliding scale.

01/10/2021

There is always a fine line between what we should do for our children and what they need to learn on their own. Should I intervene or should I allow them to figure it out. Should I teach them how to cook, clean, and move into adulthood? Even though I know that what I'm teaching them will allow them to leave me some day.
We love our children beyond measure, without limits, when they're unlovable. But when does love become codependence, unhealthy, or smothering? Can we recognize it if we are doing it?
To cripple our children with dependence should never be an option. They are meant to grow up, move out, develop their own measure of success.
Teach them everything you know. Everything they're willing to learn from you. Then, find other people they can look up to who can teach them more.

12/28/2020

Difficulty Sleeping; Frequent Nightmares; Fearful in groups of people (or of certain groups of people); Increased Anxiety and Irritability; Isolation; Avoidance of Social Situations that were once enjoyed; Heightened State of Arousal (Easily frightened); Increased Disassociation when with family or friends (Being physically present but not emotionally or mentally present). Difficulty focusing while at work. These are all classic signs of PTSD. There are many more possible symptoms, but the symptoms listed above are considered "normal" in almost everyone that has the been the victim of a crime.

The need for therapy can be paramount in your ability to get your life back. Unfortunately, the stigma that is often applied to someone needing therapy is the largest deterrent in someone truly healing. Life is forever altered by these traumatic events and the life one once had, feels forever lost.

The truth is, you can live your life again. Despite the fear, despite the pain, despite anything that your mind tries to tell you, you can have a life without living in fear every day. In considering whether to participate in therapy or not, what you need to ask yourself is, "How long should I allow that person or that event control my life".

Browse our website to learn more!
www.collinscounselingcenter.org

12/25/2020

12/25/2020