C&J’S Mindful Magic

12/15/2025

How to Remove Yourself From Toxic People (Without Blowing Your Life Up) 💣🛡️

This came through intuitively today, when a friend of mine gave me the topic and I read into it.
I pulled tarot on it, because sometimes our intuition likes a visual language.

The message was supaaaa clear… So you don’t remove yourself from toxic people by confrontation.
You remove yourself by changing access.

Here’s what that actually looks like if your wondering.

The first thing that happens when a dynamic is unhealthy is subtle. You start to feel less like yourself. Less confident. Less expressive. You second guess your tone, your words, your reactions.

That’s your system telling you something is off.

Of course I have to add, from a psychological standpoint, this is what happens when your nervous system stays in low level stress. Your brain shifts into monitoring mode. You become more cautious, more self editing, more alert to potential conflict.

That’s not growth. That’s survival. Survival mode, is a nono.

So the first step isn’t fixing yourself.
It’s pulling your energy back, since our energy we must look at it sacred.

Stop over explaining. Stop trying to show up “the right way.” Stop giving enthusiasm where it isn’t respected.

Distance starts internally.

The next part is realizing that what once felt safe doesn’t anymore. This is uncomfortable, because we like familiarity. Even unhealthy familiarity feels stabilizing to the brain. Studies show the nervous system prefers the known over the unknown, even when the known causes stress.

So when you step back, guilt shows up. Doubt shows up. You wonder if you’re being dramatic.
You’re not.

You’re responding to information your body has already processed.

Here’s where most people get stuck: communication.

We’re taught that if we just explain clearly enough, people will understand, right?

But toxic dynamics don’t break down because of miscommunication. They break down because information gets distorted, weaponized, or ignored.

This is why saying less becomes protective. ☀️

From a behavioral therapy perspective, this is called boundary reinforcement. You don’t reinforce boundaries by debating them. You reinforce them through consistency.

Silence isn’t avoidance when it’s intentional.
It’s regulation.

The final step is the hardest….letting go of controlling the narrative.

You allow people to misunderstand you.
You allow them to have their version of the story.
You stop trying to manage their perception.

That’s not weakness. That’s nervous system healing at its finest.

When you pause instead of react, when you disengage instead of defend, your brain begins to re-associate safety with calm, not chaos.

This is where peace actually starts.

Removing yourself from toxic people doesn’t have to be loud. It doesn’t have to be dramatic. It doesn’t require a speech or a showdown.

Sometimes it looks like:
1)pulling back emotionally
2)not showing up where you feel small
3)speaking less, not more
4)choosing stillness over explanation

And trusting that clarity doesn’t come from confrontation, it comes from distance.

If this resonates, it’s probably because your intuition has already been nudging you.

You’re not wrong.

You’re learning how to protect your peace without abandoning yourself.

✨ Save this if you need it. Share it if someone else might.

12/15/2025

🌱 Outgrowing a situation doesn’t always feel empowering….Sometimes it just feels uncomfortable. 🥴

There’s a phase of growth no one really talks about.
You’re not spiraling. You dont feel confused. You dont feel like you’re “going backwards.”

You’re aware.

And awareness comes before relief.

When you emotionally outgrow something such as a relationship, a dynamic, a version of yourself Your mind understands the truth before your body feels safe enough to move on. That gap can feel heavy, restless and lonely.

From a science perspective, this makes sense.
Your brain is rewiring. The part of your mind that recognizes patterns and insight starts overriding older emotional habits stored in your nervous system. Your body still wants what’s familiar, even if it wasn’t healthy.

So instead of peace, you feel discomfort. All because of our crazy brains.

If you ever feel this way it doesn’t mean you made the wrong choice.
It means your system is catching up.

Spiritually, this is the space between who you were and who you’re becoming.
Psychologically, this is integration.

If you’re in this phase, here’s something that actually helps:

Instead of asking, “Why does this still bother me?”
Try asking, “What am I seeing now that I couldn’t see before?”

That simple shift moves you out of self-judgment and into self-trust.

Healing doesn’t always feel light. Sometimes it feels quiet. Sometimes it feels awkward.
Sometimes it feels like standing still while everything inside you rearranges.

And that’s okay.
You’re stabilizing.

Relief comes after awareness, not before.

11/27/2025