09/26/2025
ADHD & Listening
“Why won’t you just listen to me?” is a common frustration when communicating with an ADHDer. But listening isn’t as simple as it seems, it’s actually a multi-step process, and ADHD brains can face challenges at many points along the way.
👉 Hearing vs Listening
Hearing: Passive perception of sound.
Listening: Active process of focusing, understanding, evaluating, and responding.
💡 Six steps are involved in listening:
Receiving (Did they actually hear you?)
Directing Attention (Did they shift focus to your voice?)
Understanding (Did they decode what you said?)
Evaluating (Can they put it in context?)
Responding (Is their reply aligned with what you meant?)
Remembering (Will they retain it later?)
✨ ADHD brains can stumble at different points in this chainm, not because they don’t care, but because executive functioning makes it harder to filter, shift, process, and remember.
✅ Tips for supporting communication:
Be in the same physical space when communicating.
Use clear, simple language and check for understanding.
Pause to allow time for processing.
Provide external memory supports (prompts for them to make notes, reminders if applicable).
Allow space for emotional reactions when shifting from preferred tasks.
An ADHDer not remembering something you discussed, isn't about disrespect, it’s a complex cognitive process. Slowing down, clarifying, and supporting without judgment can make communication far smoother.
