Kelli Schow, LCSW, PLLC

02/28/2026

Dialectical thinking- a concept I find important enough to want a reminder tattooed on my wrist.

It means holding two seemingly opposing ideas at the same time.

Because what if…

- You don’t have to choose between strength and vulnerability.
- You don’t have to choose between acceptance and change.
- You don’t have to choose between honoring your past and building your future.

We often crave certainty with the belief it will bring us relief.

But, growth isn’t about forcing clarity—it’s about expanding your capacity to hold complexity.

- You can be doing your best AND be capable of doing better.
- You can be competent AND make mistakes
- You can love someone AND feel hurt by them.

When we stop treating our inner world like a debate to be won, we make space for nuance, compassion, and movement. Healing often begins the moment we allow “both/and” to sit at the same table.

02/25/2026

Many people come to therapy hoping to feel “better”. I want that for my clients too.

Yet, the road to healing isn’t usually so straightforward. Often, the first step towards healing is learning to approach our stories, struggles, and behaviors through a lens of self-compassion.

Self compassion isn’t just “being nicer to yourself.”

It’s a deep, nervous system level shift. And it often begins with noticing the parts of yourself that you feel uncomfortable with.

Often, feelings and behaviors that look “unhealthy” on the surface began as survival strategies.

Avoidance, shutting down, people pleasing, angry outbursts, self-criticism, overworking—these didn’t appear out of nowhere. They were solutions your system created to protect you.

Meeting these parts with compassion doesn’t mean approving of the behavior.

It means saying: “I understand why you’re here. You make sense.”

Eventually, this compassion helps your nervous system stay within a tolerable range so you can notice:

• What triggers the behavior

• What sensations show up in your body

• What the underlying need might be

• How to begin to meet those needs to create sustainable change

Self compassion becomes the bridge between “I hate that I do this” and “I’m learning why this happens.”

You don’t have to force change. You don’t have to shame yourself into healing. You can start by offering a little warmth to the parts of you that are still trying to protect you in the only ways they know.

02/14/2026

This Valentines Day I’m here to celebrate one of my favorite forms of connection:

Unconditional Positive Regard

Coined by Carl Rogers- the founding father of person centered therapy.

In my opinion, this is one of his most powerful ideas. It’s the intention of valuing and respecting someone consistently—even when you don’t agree with their choices or behavior.

In therapy, unconditional positive regard means you are met with respect, care, and non-judgment—no matter what you bring into the room.

This doesn’t mean your therapist agrees with every choice you’ve made or avoids hard conversations. It means your worth as a person is never up for debate.

In short: you don’t have to be “fixed,” polished, or certain to deserve care. Therapy is a space where you are valued first—and growth follows from there.

It means:

You matter. You’re allowed to grow. You’re more than your worst moment.

When you feel accepted rather than shamed, it becomes safer to:

• speak honestly

• explore painful or confusing experiences

• take responsibility without fear of rejection

• try new ways of being

You can expect to feel this in therapy.

Outside of therapy, imagine how different our conversations, relationships, and communities could be if we all led with this…

01/11/2026

“The wisdom you seek is already inside you. Be still and listen” -Rumi

12/06/2025

If you are a client of mine, regardless of whether you are a parent, you are likely familiar with my frequent recommendations of Dr. Becky Kennedy's work.

Her core message is rooted in self-compassion, emphasizing that despite our challenging behaviors, we are all inherently good, including both adults and children. She encourages us to approach ourselves and our loved ones with curiosity, recognizing that behavior is a form of communication and a reflection of our current skills and tools. By adopting a more curious mindset, we can respond to ourselves and others with empathy, boundaries, and guidance, rather than shame and punishment.

Dr. Kennedy's approach has been likened to a Trojan horse, as she empowers us to shift our perspectives on ourselves and the world through her parenting advice.

I have no affiliation with the Good Inside Platform and do not receive any financial incentives for recommending her work. I simply believe that her work is transformational. For those interested in a membership to her platform, I am pleased to offer a 30% discount code: https://goodinside.app.link/j9rH81BUPYb.

If a membership is not for you, you may consider reading her book, Good Inside, or listening to her free podcast of the same title.

Get parenting support from Good Inside with Dr. Becky to navigate challenges, build resilience and strengthen your connection with your child.

02/12/2025

Just like we can take care of our physical health to prevent getting sick, we can teach our kids about their emotions so they can develop tools to manage the inevitable stressors they will face throughout their life. Research shows that a fundamental skill in coping with stress is emotional granularity, or the ability to notice and label our emotions. The Harvard Medical School psychologist, Susan David, describes it beautifully below. For those who want a bit more evidence and context, check out this article (https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9714615/ ) or feel free to explore Susan David's work at www.susandavid.com.

Susan David explains this so simply and brilliantly—I love it!

11/23/2024

I am excited to share my ShoutOut Colorado Interview with you- please check out my article below:

Https://shoutoutcolorado.com/meet-kelli-schow-mental-health-therapist

11/05/2024

These last few weeks, I've been sitting with clients through all sorts of challenging and complex feelings as Election Day approached. The tension in the air can be palpable. It can also be impossible to ignore. Last night I was in the car with my 9 year old son and his friend while a group of campaigners crossing the street holding political flags got in a screaming match with the car next to us. The kids had a lot of questions.

As I watched both sides of the political spectrum screaming profanities, I couldn't help but be reminded of a DBT skill, The Kernal of Truth. In short, this means that there is always more than one side to every issue. In every disagreement, big or small, there is a kernal of truth in both viewpoints. Multiple perspectives can exist and both have value. Approaching conflicts in the way can help us be more effective in meeting our needs with others. The kids in the backseat began to ask which side of the argument we were on. My response to the kids: "Do you think either side is going to change anyone's mind this way?"

Today will inevitably bring up strong and passionate feelings. It makes sense to have strong convictions about the outcome of this election, I certainly do. But please don't forget to show up in the world as the best version of yourself. There is lot that is out of our control today. But, we always have control of the way we choose to show up in response.

In an environment of political divisiveness, strong opinions and sometimes hateful dialogue (especially on the Internet), explaining the root of different va...

01/19/2024

If you are an expecting or new parent, consider trying prenatal or postnatal yoga to move your body, bond with baby, and connect with other parents in a similar stage of life. Here is an opportunity to try it free!

12/31/2023

As you ring in 2024 and consider intentions for the new year, I encourage you to consider the following quote by Carl Rogers:

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change”

Here’s to another year of growth AND self acceptance! May we all continue to become the best versions of ourselves.

12/29/2023

Yoga is an amazing tool to nurture the mind/body relationship, reduce the impact of the fight, flight or freeze stress response, and help with emotion regulation. Here is a great opportunity to start the new year with healing movement: