Relational Growth Therapy

03/02/2026

“We just need tools.”

I hear this all the time in relationship consultations.

And I get it.

We’re not taught how healthy communication.
And research from The Gottman Method shows that “healthy” couples do have specific behaviors, rituals, and habits that keep them connected.

So it makes sense to think:

If A + B = C
Just teach us A and B…
…and we’ll be C (connected). ❤️

But here’s the part we don’t talk about enough:

Tools only work when your emotionally regulated wise adult self is in the driver’s seat.

Tools require:
✨ Emotional regulation
✨ Self-trust
✨ The ability to stay open instead of protective

When my wise adult is leading...
The tools work beautifully.

When my wounded or adaptive parts are driving...
When I’m reacting from an old story that says I need to protect myself...

The tools?
They fly straight out the window. 💨

This is why relationship therapy isn’t just about learning scripts.

It’s about asking:
👉 What gets activated in me?
👉 What am I protecting?
👉 What wounds are still tender?

Because lasting connection isn’t built from better "tools".

It’s built from healing the parts of us that struggle to use them.

If you’re in Colorado and ready to do this work 🏔️individually or as a couple 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩I’d love to support you.

Reach out through the link in my bio to schedule a free consultation. 🤍

02/16/2026

Hi, I’m Alana.

I’m a relationship (couples + families) and individual therapist.

My role isn’t to dictate your journey, it’s to create a space of trust and safety where real vulnerability can happen. Because healing requires honesty. And honesty requires safety. 🤍

I’m here as a knowledgeable guide while you do the brave work of growth.

💛 Relationships

The strongest partnerships still need support.

Couple Therapy can help you:
• Shatter destructive patterns
• Communicate with clarity and confidence
• Restore and fortify trust
• Cultivate deep emotional security

✨ Rediscover the connection you deserve.

🔥 Mid-Life Women

This is the season of evolution.

You can:
• Stop overfunctioning and carrying it all
• Release the pressure to be everything for everyone
• Let go of outdated expectations (and give fewer F*cks 😉)
• Fully own your voice, needs, and desires

This chapter isn’t a crisis, it’s a reclamation.

🌿 Caregiver Support

If you’re holding aging parents, growing kids, a partner, and a career… it’s a lot.

You deserve space to:
• Stop carrying the weight alone
• Set boundaries without guilt
• Navigate burnout and overwhelm
• Feel grounded in every role you hold

You don’t have to disappear inside caregiving.
You get to matter, too.

If you’re in Colorado and ready to feel more connected, aligned, and supported, let’s talk!

📍 Schedule a consultation today.
Your next chapter deserves intention.

02/11/2026

Relationship Lessons from Cartoon Dogs 🐕

Are you living in the joy of playing the game or getting caught in the disconnection of who is right and who is wrong💔

⛰️In Colorado and wanting to explore your relationships? Reach out for a free consultation at the link on my bio 🏔️

01/23/2026

What is Relational Recovery? 💔➡️❤️‍🩹

Relational Recovery comes from the work of Terry Real and Relational Life Therapy (RLT). At its heart, it’s about healing not just the individual, but the relationship itself.

Many of us were taught to focus on being “right,” self-sufficient, and/or emotionally armored.
Relational Recovery asks something different:
✨ Can we stay connected and accountable?
✨ Can we move from blame to responsibility?
✨ Can we replace power struggles with partnership?

In Relational Recovery, we look at:
• How old survival patterns show up in our relationships
• The difference between being right and being relational
• How to shift from automatic reactions to intentional connection
• Repairing harm through accountability, empathy, and truth

This work isn’t about perfection.
It’s about repair.
It’s about learning how to show up with strength and care.
It’s about creating relationships where both people matter. ⛰️🏔️Are in Colorado and in need of relationship support? 🤳Reach out at the link in my bio

07/11/2025

New blog post with Free Worksheet

In the hustle of daily life (work, errands, family demands, endless to-do list), it is easy for couples to slip into logistical mode and forget about each other. Conversations become about who’s picking up the kids or what needs to go on the grocery list, and the deeper connection can quietly drif...

06/06/2025

New blog post, on the impact the "No" and "Yes" messages from childhood.

Discover how early “No” vs. “Yes” messages shape your relationships today. Learn how childhood experiences influence adult attachment and how therapy can help you build healthier connections.

05/22/2025

New Baby?

Your world just changed and so did your relationship.

As first-time parents, it’s easy to feel like you’re on parallel tracks instead of a team. However, this tender and overwhelming season can also be a turning point. 💛✨

Here’s what relationship therapy support can help you do:
🧡 Reconnect with your partner through honest and compassionate communication
🌱 Build a strong foundation for your growing family
🌟 Help each other to feel seen and supported

✨ In Colorado and ready to feel close again?
See the link in my bio to book a free consultation.

08/08/2024

Tip
Little shifts can have a huge impact on the way our communication is received by others

A simple shift of replacing the word BUT with the word AND when communicating can create a shift from Defensiveness to Openness

“BUT” can cancel out anything positive you said before, think about how this apology would feel to you:
“I am sorry for hurting your feelings but…”

“AND” is inclusive and implies we are on the same team, this about how this apology would feel to you:
“I am sorry for hurting your feelings and…”

Simple shifts build moment and can lead to big changes.

In Colorado and looking to explore your relationships on a deeper level? Reach out for a free consultation, link in bio👆.

01/30/2024

The research shows Strong Relationships have these 6 qualities in common:

Partners assume the best about each other (default to a positive perspective)

Partners acknowledge each others perspective (they respect and are curious about each other’s individual perspective)

Partners attune to each others emotions (they notice when their partner is angry, happy, sad, ect)

Share emotional empathy (they mirror each other is a way that says: your feelings are understood and shared)

High degree of trust (both partners are secure in their trust for the other)

Commitment to prioritizing the relationship (they make time for each other and the relationship)

If you are missing one (or more) of these aspects in your relationship you may be feeling a sense of disconnection from your partner. Committing to improving each area with strengthen the relationship (if both pay ears make the commitment).

For additional help seek out a relationship therapist. Live in Colorado? Link in my bio for a free consultation for relationship or individual therapy.

01/15/2024

Growth is always possible not matter what life challenges you have faced.

11/14/2023

Some common symptoms of relational trauma may include:

Trust Issues: leading to disconnected relationships with partners, friends, or family members.

Fear of Abandonment: leading to clinginess or difficulty forming close connections.

Difficulty Forming Attachments: resulting in Anxious, Avoidant, or Disorganized attachment styles

Low Self-Esteem: resulting in feelings of not being good enough for a fulfilling life or validating relationships

Emotional Dysregulation: experiencing intense emotional reactions that may be disproportionate to the current situation

Avoidance of Intimacy: surface level relationships to protect oneself from potential emotional harm.

Flashbacks or Intrusive Memories/Thoughts: leading to feelings of being in “fight, flight, freeze” when no danger is present

Difficulty Setting Boundaries: leading to over-accommodation or an inability to say no.

Codependency: relying excessively on others for emotional validation or a sense of identity.

Repetition of Unhealthy Relationship Patterns: Unconsciously choosing relationships that replicate past negative experiences.

Social Withdrawal: isolating oneself due to fear of further relational trauma.

Physical Symptoms: such as headaches, digestive issues, or chronic pain, which may be linked to the emotional impact of relational trauma.

Difficulty Communicating Needs: resulting in personal needs and desires not being met within relationships.

The impact of relational trauma can differ from person to person, individuals may experience these symptoms to varying degrees. Seeking trauma-informed therapy can be beneficial for understanding and healing from these symptoms.

11/13/2023

What is Relational Trauma?

Relational trauma is rooted in experiences of betrayal, neglect, or abuse within trusted relationships.

When traumatic experiences happen within these close interpersonal relationships our foundation of trust, security, and attachment is fractured.

Whether from childhood experiences or later in adult life, these wounds leave an indelible mark on our psyche, influencing how we perceive and engage with the world.

Relational Trauma can occur within a relationship between two people or on structural/societal levels.

Childhood Examples:
Sexual, Emotional, and/or Physical Abuse from a parent or trusted caregiver

Adult Examples:
Physical, Emotional, or Sexual Abuse from a romantic partner
Physical and/or Emotional Affairs

Structural/Societal Examples:
Workplace Discrimination
Combat/War Experiences
Race/ethnic Based Inequities

Trauma resulting from the above experiences can be felt years after the experience resulting in symptoms that reduce a person’s ability to feel connected to Self and to Others, overall reducing the feeling of living a happy and fulfilled life.

More about symptoms in tomorrow’s post.