03/12/2023
As a Black Woman I feel like when I open up about the harms that I’ve endured and their very real impact, it’s met with either contempt, secret excitement or dismissiveness. Particular dating violence from men.
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An associate I knew connected me to her guy friend when I first moved to Tennessee to attend grad school.
After I spoke up about his breadcrumbing, hot cold behavior and subsequent reduction of me to an object he stonewalled, gaslit and subjected me to what I know now is dating violence as his response. When I told her, after the psychological and emotional abuse continued throughout the school year, she unfriended me off social media.🚩
In our society, violence against women, especially Black women is acceptable when the guy wears sheep’s clothing.
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I also think how ecosystems of accountability exist mainly among women. Abusers silence their victims but the ppl in their inner circle are positioned to shed light or their harm and this is how Community members can disrupt patterns of violence vs, punishing the victim for being a victim.
☹️ if my home boy disrupted the peace of a Sista I introduced him to, I’d happily call him on his bs. But I’m a
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From , , , physical and sexual violence is becoming less of a punch line. But the casual mistreatment of women by men who date them is a subtle elixir of cruelty leaving invisible scars in a world that’s only just now shaking their head at extreme violence against women.
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