Dr. Lara Pence

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United States
Denver, CO
Dr. Lara Pence

Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Eating Disorder Expert
MBA, PsyD
Author | Mom | Founder of LIGHFBOX

08/18/2025

we spend so much time worrying about how we’re seen. how we’re perceived. whether we look strong enough or smart enough or kind enough or capable enough. but the truth? most people forget what they “saw” in you pretty quickly.

what sticks is how they see themselves because of you. did you make them feel stronger? did you make them believe in something they didn’t think was possible? did you leave them more whole and more capable and more brave?

impact isn’t about polishing your image. it’s about shifting someone else’s reflection. the goal isn’t to be admired. it’s to be remembered for the way you changed what someone believed about themselves.

so worry less about the optics. and more about the imprint. that’s where the real power lives.

08/08/2025

these are the faces of therapy.

the ones i make when a client says something so real it takes my breath away. when i’m holding grief and joy at the same time. when i smirk because i know a client just sidestepped a truth they’re not ready for — and that’s okay. when i lean in because this moment matters. when i laugh loudly because it’s maybe the only thing left to do for that thing we both uncovered to get logged in real time.

therapy isn’t about keeping a blank face. it actually isn’t about being a blank slate - a tabula rasa. it’s actually about being with each client - fully present and fully human. because the relationship we build is the most important part of the work. and study after study shows it: the connection between therapist and client predicts the outcome more than any single technique or theory. why? because we heal and grow in the context of a relationship… not in isolation from it.

we learn safety by feeling safe with another person. we learn trust by having it built. we learn to express ourselves by being met fully when we do.

and you know where else the relationship is just as important? with the coach|athlete.

if you think you’re only there to train and to push and to hit numbers and assign workouts - you’re wrong. you’re there to know your athlete. to read the look on their face. to see when the body language changes. to understand the story behind the expression. because whether it’s in the therapy room or on the training floor… what we build together matters more than any single session plan. the work is always done in the relationship. never outside of it.

(… and yes… i can rock a pixie… ;)

08/06/2025

therapy isn’t just about you being honest with your therapist. it’s about your therapist being honest with you.
not harsh. not cruel.
but clear.
because healing doesn’t come from being coddled. it comes from being seen.
the truth is… we all have blind spots.
narratives we’ve repeated so many times they feel like fact. habits that feel protective but are actually keeping us stuck. and when a therapist isn’t honest with you - when they let the performance slide or avoid the hard truths -
you end up staying exactly where you are.

this week alone i’ve said:
“it’s actually not working for you.”
“i don’t believe you believe that.”
“i’m not sure that’s what you really think.”
“oh come on... try again.”

and maybe the hardest one…
“i worry that you’re working overtime to please me. whether you please me or not
isn’t going to change the way i show up in this space.”

therapy isn’t about approval.
it’s about alignment.
it’s not about making your therapist proud.
it’s about making yourself free.
a therapist who is honest with you (especially when it’s uncomfortable) is a therapist who believes in your capacity to face hard things and come out stronger.

find one of those kind of therapists.

08/05/2025

he’s brave for going all in.
she’s broken for doing the same.
that’s the double standard.
let’s be clear… this isn’t a defense of extreme practices. it’s a critique of who gets applause and who gets policed.

07/31/2025

a recent Wall Street Journal article named a new parenting trend: FAFO parenting.
(fun around, find out… if you know, you know.)
and while the article raised some fair critiques what it really exposes is the fallout from a parenting movement that had good intentions but an incomplete blueprint.

gentle parenting was born from a need to correct the punitive and authoritarian styles of the past. we needed a better way. and gentle parenting gave some parents a language for empathy. validation. attunement. nervous system regulation.
all important.
but then… it forgot the other half.

gentle parenting became confused with permissive parenting.
discipline got rebranded as “trauma.”
boundaries started feeling “unsafe.”
and suddenly a whole generation of parents started parenting from fear… of being too much, and too strict and too damaging. and in the blink of an eye - kids became friends and parents lost perspective. a whole generation of kids got a lot of understanding but not enough containment.

because here’s the truth:
empathy without authority creates confusion.
kids need clarity.
they need parents who can be soft and firm.
who can co-regulate and correct.
who can witness big emotions and still hold the boundary.

your child doesn’t need you to be their best friend. they need you to be the adult.
and yes … sometimes that means letting them FAFO. but more often? it means saying:
“i love you. and the answer is still no.”

07/27/2025

this is the tension i hold with so many of the athletes i work with. the mindset that built them can also break them. that “never enough” edge gets results. and yet it can also steal presence and relationships.

none of them got to where they are by slowing down and there’s no denying the value of that extra push. and yet … there comes a moment when that edge transforms from a position that spring-boards them into excellence into a ledge that waits for them to fall.

this is the cost of high performance no one talks about. and one of the tensions they must get curious about … how do i navigate the story that ‘doing more is my best asset’ when it’s possible that this story has turned into a liability?

07/25/2025

your athlete is overwhelmed — spiraling into anger or tears or total shut down.
your instinct might be to coach them out of it. to right what you see headed wrong.
but here’s the real move:
regulate first. coach second.
athletes in distress aren’t being dramatic. they’re protecting themselves. and before they can hear you - they need to feel you. to feel you steady. to feel safe. to feel your nonjudgment.
this is co-regulation.
their nervous system borrows yours.
your calm is the map they don’t yet have.

try this:
🧘‍♂️ slow your breath
🦶 feel your feet on the ground
😌 soften your eyes and jaw

say this:
💬 “i’m here. we’re okay.”
💬 “let’s take 30 seconds together.”
💬 “you don’t have to figure it all out right now.”

not this:
❌ “calm down.”
❌ “you’re overreacting.”
❌ “what’s wrong with you?”

say less. stay soft. speak safety.
because coaching in the fire isn’t about control.
it’s about connection.

your presence is the intervention.

07/15/2025

if you’re a coach and you know what’s good for you you’ll apply. plain and simple. because this isn’t just another leadership workshop or a motivational pep talk. it’s where performance meets psychology. where coaching becomes transformational. and where you stop guessing how to support your athletes and start knowing.

but don’t take it from me - take it from the coaches who’ve already changed how they coach and live and lead:

“i’ve been a part of this first collective and have learned so much... from mental health to business strategies to setting boundaries to perfectionism. i don’t know where i’d be without dr. l.”

“working with this coaching program has been truly eye-opening. the lessons are powerful, engaging, and immediately applicable. i feel more equipped to support my athletes and foster meaningful connections with them.”

“this collective will help you really feel more comfortable supporting your athletes through their entire transformation journey… while also being able to set boundaries for yourself that help you be the best coach you can be.”

“me being a part of the coaches collective with dr. pence has been game-changing and life-changing for myself and my athletes.” .run.lindsey

this fall we kick off another round.
the room is full of smart and sharp and heart-forward coaches who want more tools and more clarity and more courage.

you in?

🗓️ apply now — fall cohort begins the weekend of september 19th. link in bio.

Address

Denver, CO

Website

http://www.drlarapence.com/

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working to create a vehicle for self-awareness

hi. i’m dr. pence. nice to meet you! who am i? big question, right? let’s see . . . first and foremost, i have a guttural passion for helping individuals learn the truth about themselves, that their uniqueness is lovable and valuable, and that this universe needs them to show up. for various reasons, our society fosters competition and unkindness between both males and females. we all spend way too much time comparing and nowhere near enough time connecting. i know that when i am around empowered, brave, and whole-hearted individuals i feel inspired. i have learned that the more permission we give to ourselves to shine, the more permission we energetically give to others to do the same.

i am working to create ways for individuals to have access to the type of content and practices that they would find in a the therapeutic space. my video series, understanding your greatest self, is intended to walk you through a year of inquiry, as you seek greater self-awareness and work to unlock your greatest self.

doing this work is my calling. this is part of what makes me whole.