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Recovery Pages, 101 Knight Court, Dothan, AL (2025)

08/20/2019

I am a friend of Tim’s, we started this page together once upon a time and he was such great writer I kind of dumped it on him. I love and miss him so much. That being said I need AA meeting contacts for a guy in need in Decatur Alabama, Private message is fine, thank you.

07/30/2019

Beauty in the darkness. I have written about this before but it has come to mind a couple of times in the last few days. Back when I was defending, I was sitting in a room in a jail waiting for a client to be brought out and I was noticing the surroundings. I was wondering how many interrogations had occurred in this room, how many journies into prison began here. Jails are never quiet. There are always guards talking, doors clanging, inmates being brought to and from. There never appears to be a lot of happiness in these places. As I sat there, a woman with the most beautiful voice started singing. Just out of nowhere, she burst into a beautiful song. And while she sang, there was a complete silence in that jail. Everyone stop talking and was listening. There was no noise whatsoever, except for that beautiful voice. The whole atmosphere changed in that prison. Tonight, the words came to me: "To comfort rather than be comforted, to understand than to be understood, to love than to be loved." Even in the darkest places, we can find beauty there. There is always something beautiful that we can find. Even in the worst storms of our lives, the worst problems, and when everything is going wrong, if we stay true, the clouds will clear and the stars will shine again. And after we have gone through a certain problem or life challenge, we can go out and help another guy who is going through the same problem. As I have read, we can assure him that the stars will shine again. To that guy, we are the beautiful song in the darkness.

07/03/2019

"If God can make a bug's butt light up, just think about what he can do for you!"

07/03/2019

Destination unknown. I saw on Facebook where a young teenage girl dies of cancer this week. I had kept up with her journey and she had found out about her cancer during the time that I have been going through my struggles. Her faith, and her family's faith, was inspiring. This young lady believed in Jesus and knew where home was when she passed away. I don't know why God would take this young lady but he was ready for her to come home. God has certainly blessed me on my cancer journey. It has been going on for over a year and a half. I have had surgery, had parts removed and rebuilt. The cancer returned and I asked one of my doctors how long that I would live. This doctor is a christian and told me that I should not be looking at it from terms of how long that I had to live. I was going to need to change my views. The doctor told me about one man that had lived for years and I should quit viewing it from the perspective of how long that I had. One thing that I have learned from my journey that is spiritual is that our destinations are unknown when it comes to God's Universe. We should live each day like we were going to live forever. We don't know what God's plan is or where we will arrive. I assume that I am to use my journey to help somebody else. If we basically lived our lives on a spiritual basis and then came back and reported to everyone what worked for us, this world would be a better place. I don't believe that any of us are favored more or less by God. He loves us all the same. But in the end, it is his plan that is going to be carried out in each of our lives. My job is to live the best spiritual life possible and, one day, my time to go home will come too.

06/18/2019

The show must go on. Hello everybody, it has been a few days since I have posted my nightly post but I have been occupied. I had a round of chemo this week and I saw the doctor on Tuesday. He told me that he could tell from outward appearances that I was doing well. The doctor said that he had seen a lot of people in his time and he could tell just from looking at me that I was doing good. I have been doing good and my energy level had been the highest that it has been in a long time before the chemo.I had the chemo treatment on Tuesday and then I have to wear a box which injects chemo into my body for two days. I had the box removed on Thursday. I am tired for a couple of days but I could tell today that I have regained my energy faster than I have in the past. Friday and Saturday, I took naps but I have not had to do that today. I have attended a couple of spiritual events and I am speaking at one tomorrow night. It seems strange but when I post only positive and humorous things, it seems that I see more positive on Facebook. When I scroll though my friend's posts, I see more humor and I see more posts that are positive. When I keep a positive frame of mind, my sickness does not overwhelm me. I seem to gain my energy back faster and there is more serenity in my life. Worrying about negative stuff or politics will throw me off center and I try to stay away from that sort of thinking. So, thank you for the prayers and all the positive thoughts. Prayer does work and there is an energy from positive thoughts. I love you all.

06/18/2019

Slugging it out. Years ago, I represented a defendant in a murder case and there was a co-defendant. That means that there were two defendants being tried for murder at the same time. It was a tough case going in and I was having to fight the prosecutor at every corner. Before long into the trial, some finger pointing started between my client and the co-defendant and before long I was having to fight the prosecutor and the attorney for the co-defendant. It was three or four days of slugging it out. Today, I was thinking of the slug fest that negativity brings into our lives. At the present, my basic fight is with cancer. I have good doctors that I leave this fight in the capable hands of. We all have something in life that we struggle with. Normally, when we get sick of struggling, we turn the matter over to God and leave it in his very capable hands, That is usually the best plan but normally we have to get sick of fighting ourselves before we do. I try to live my life on the most positive note possible. I find that when I go looking for negativity, whatever it may be, I am going to be fighting everyone and everything around me. Think about it. What good has ever came out of being negative? When I want to say something negative, usually my best approach is to hold that tongue and not say anything. When I start being negative, the whole dam bursts and there is resentment and fear that will swallow me up. Not only am I fighting me, but I start fighting the imaginary enemy. So, today, stay positive regardless of circumstance. It does all get better in the end.

06/05/2019

Take the long way home. As I approach my 59th year of living, today I was listening to "70's on 7." The song "Take the Long Way Home" came on. "You never see what you want to see, Forever playing to the gallery, You take the long way home, Take the long way home" I remember being 19 years old and singing "Took the Long way Home!" at the top of my lungs appealing to the humor of my dates. Tomorrow, I will be 59 years old. Hard to believe that the song is 40 years old. But when i look back over my life, I did take the long road home. Here I am and for the last 13 years, I have lived a spiritual life. I enjoy going into prisons and jails and carrying the spiritual message. Basically, we introduce inmates to God. God introduced himself to me in a bathroom on July 5, 2006 and I had a spiritual awakening. Since that time, I have tried to carry the message to others. I was raised in a good home and had good parents. They raised me right but I certainly got off on the wrong path. I made some poor choices but God is real big with "second chances." Yes, many of us take the "long road home." But we finally arrive. I have had a life worth living.

06/05/2019

Staying positive. About two years ago, I made a vow to only post positive or humorous posts on my page. Thus far, I have kept that promise. It ends all my nights on a positive note and you don't know how much that has improved my attitude. Today I had something happen that I wanted to write about on Facebook. I felt like it was wrong and that most everybody would agree with me that it was wrong. I thought that to keep to my rule of staying positive that I would just write it as one of the day's events without complaining about it. But I thought about it and it was just another way to complain about it without actually calling it a complaint. So, I decided to stick with my vow and stay positive. I have felt really good for the last few days and I have to go do chemo tomorrow. I will have to wear the box for a couple of days and then have it removed on Thursday. But I have felt doggone good. Banks and I celebrated my birthday by attending a musical and eating supper. I attended an event on Saturday night and I have had a lot of energy. So, I feel like the chemo is working. I have been eating good. I was a able to talk to a person yesterday who has just found out that he has cancer and share my experience.So, I am actually able to use my experience to help others. So, staying positive does pay off. It has helped me through my sickness, as well. Staying positive is a choice and, trust me, will work wonders for you.

05/26/2019

Circling the wagons. The other day when I visited my doctor he said that he found it amazing that I was still going to work every day, attending prisons and doing what I am supposed to be doing. He told me that some people would be circling the wagons and would be living in a world of self pity. He said that I was writing quite a story for myself. My family believes that as long as I keep going that I am going to be alright. I believe that too. The good thing about my life is that I have had the opportunity to watch men and women face bad situations and I saw how they came through it. Some of the most spiritual lessons that I have learned have been in the darkest moments of my life. In 2008, when I faced federal charges, I had to simply let God have it. There was absolutely nothing that I could do about it. I had no control over the matter. Same thing with this sickness, I personally do not have control over the matter. But there is one who does and that is God. I don't say these things to brag on myself but when I am faced with a situation that I have no control over, whatever it might be, I let God have it. It seems like everything always works out for the best when I let go. "Let go and let God!"

05/11/2019

A blank slate. Today, after I left chemo, I went by the appointment desk and waited as the administrator set up my appointment to have a scan done. As she was setting up my appointment, she said "Lung cancer, liver cancer and bone cancer." It sounded like that I should not have been alive. But here I am, walking and feeling pretty good. I go to work, still make my jail meetings and have started doing some exercise in the morning. What I was hearing was an administrator telling a short story of my life and what I see is God working a miracle. I remember when I went through my federal trial in 2008 and it was a prosecutor telling the story of my life.The prosecutor said that, I was "ruthless, that I would do anything that I had to do to get what I wanted." The prosecutor basically said that I used people for purposes of obtaining what I desired to get without regard for anybody. Honestly, I did not know who they were talking about. That man no longer existed. The last time that I had seen that man was on July 5, 2006 when I looked in the mirror and knew that I was the problem. I ask God to help me and God met me in the bathroom on that early morning. My life changed and I have not been that man since. I went to an event about a year after my change and when I was introduced, I was said to be "a mentor" who had helped a lot of people in my profession. That was a God moment as I knew that God had changed my life. Our lives are all subject to being told and narrated by someone else. I like to hear what they see when they look at me as a person. My life is like a blank slate each day. I am constantly writing the story. And the good news is that I don't have to be like the man that I was yesterday. I can write a positive story of my life, I can change or I can write a negative story. What is my choice to be? What is your choice to be?

05/06/2019

The best laid plans. One of my favorite spiritual speakers was talking about how he was trying to live a better life and he had made a career out of the marine corps. After he started living a more spiritual life, he failed to receive a promotion and basically was out of the marines. He couldn't understand why God would do this to him. Some months later, still mad about it, he was reading the morning paper and noticed that the team he was a member of in the Marines had all been killed in a helicopter crash. He knew that if he had got the promotion that he would have been on that helicopter, as well. He mumbled, "Well, God if you had let me know that, I wouldn't have complained!" He said that he knew that God knew he was reading that article. Occasionally, I will write out certain aspects of my life as an exercise of seeing why I feel certain ways. Some people call it an inventory but it is written out on paper so that I can see it in black and white. Before I got sick, I had started on one and discussed certain things such as moving from Georgia, to changing jobs, for missed opportunities, to financial matters. After getting sick, I spent very little time on it and it was put to the side. This weekend, I decided to take it back out and finish it. It was surprising that in a span of months, how many of my questions were answered. I could see how God had been working in my life and a lot of my fears that were written down had the answers to them, as well. It was almost like my God Box. I had a box that I used at one time and I would write my problem down on a piece of paper and put it in the God Box as turning it over to God. The problems were all solved and when one was solved the piece of paper was taken out, the date of resolution was written on the back and then thrown away. There was not one slip of paper remaining in the God Box. It would seem that I would learn (yes, that I would learn) that when I let it go, the problem gets answered and resolved.

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