Dr. Tamar Kahane

04/06/2026

Kids with ADHD are often rigid. That's part of the deal. But here's what nobody tells you — when they get rigid, most parents get rigid right back. And just like that, you've poured crazy glue on the very thing you're trying to loosen.

This clip is from a webinar I presented for ADDitude Magazine — with nearly 15,000 parents registered. Because this pattern? It's everywhere.

POWERS parents learn a different move: when your child can't bend, you bend first. Not because you're giving in — but because flexibility is a skill, and the most powerful way to teach it is to model it.

This is what we call Give the Gift to Get the Gift — one of the foundational skills of the POWERS Parenting program. And it changes everything.

Watch this reel and tell me if you've been here. 👇

🔗 Link in bio to learn more about POWERS Parenting.

03/28/2026

Everyone is talking about social media.

But we’re asking the wrong question.

It’s not just
“Is social media harmful?”

It’s
“Does my child have the skills to manage it?”

Because two kids can have the same phone…
and have completely different outcomes.

The difference isn’t the app.
It’s the skills.

Impulse control.
Emotional regulation.
Self-awareness.

These can be taught.

Through POWERS Parenting, parents learn to shift
from controlling behavior → to building skills in their children.

That’s what prepares kids for the world they’re actually growing in.


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03/25/2026

If I have to say ‘put your shoes on’ one more time, I’m going to lose it.

She can build a Lego city for hours. Homework in the backpack? Somehow not happening.

Sound familiar?

Here’s the shift:

Parenting is hard. Parenting a child with ADHD is harder. And if we measure success by whether they do what we say, we both lose.

What if we looked at it differently?

Not: Did she remember her homework?
But: Is she building the skills to remember?

Not: Did he put his shoes on?
But: Is he learning how to do it on his own?

When you shift from behavior to skill, everything changes.

You get your footing back.
And your child starts to build theirs.

03/18/2026

If I have to say it one more time-

“Put your shoes on." "Brush your teeth!”

"Get into bed!’”

Parents don't want to nag. Kids don't want to be controlled. And yet we keep ending up in the same loop.

Here's the thing: children are wired to want to be the boss of themselves.
Every time we tell them what to do we accidentally take that opportunity away from them.

But when we practice the POWERS skill

Of “ASK DON’T TELL” something shifts.

You step out so your child can step in!

Instead of "Put your shoes on," try: "What do you need to do before we leave?"

That one question moves you out of manager mode and activates your child's own brain, building independence, responsibility, and executive functioning from the inside out.

This is just one of the foundational skills of POWERS parenting.

Simple shift. Powerful impact.

Save this for the next time you feel the loop starting
and you are tired of repeating yourself.

03/16/2026

Last week I had the opportunity to introduce the POWERS approach to the ADDitude community in a webinar on parent-child executive functioning training.

Over 14,000 parents registered, and the responses from families were incredibly meaningful.

Many parents shared that they had been searching for practical ways to help their children build skills rather than simply reacting to behavior.

If you missed the conversation, the replay is available here-

https://www.additudemag.com/webinar/parent-child-executive-function-training/

03/10/2026

If your child shuts down, hides, or seems completely unable to take responsibility after a meltdown — this is why.
They're not avoiding consequences. They're avoiding a feeling that tells them something is wrong with who they are.
Share it with a parent who needs it. !

03/06/2026

Spring sports quietly teach children one of the most important life skills: distress tolerance.

Baseball is a perfect example. Even the best players fail most of the time.

But when children strike out, adults often rush to say,
“It’s not about winning or losing.”

We say this to make them feel better. But we may be missing the opportunity.

Children build resilience not by avoiding disappointment but by learning how to tolerate it and keep going.

Sometimes the most helpful response is simply:

“I know that felt lousy.”

Then help them stay engaged and try again.

Because confidence doesn’t come from constant success.

It grows when children learn they can handle disappointment and keep going.

01/30/2026

We don't build resilience by removing hard feelings, we build it by teaching children they can survive them.

That's emotional security.

12/09/2025

We’re so good at seeing what we didn’t do…
and rarely notice what we did.

Triple P is one small nightly ritual that helps you register the good, grow resilience, and model the skills your kids need most.

Pause • Praise • Progress.
Let it land. 💛

12/04/2025

In hard moments, validate the feeling, and stay grounded.

That’s how emotional regulation develops from the inside out.

Share with someone who needs new language.

11/14/2025

Kids often fall apart for the caregiver they feel safest with. Their executive functioning is depleted by the end of the day. Co-regulate first, offer a simple choice, and teach once calm returns.

Save this for the next after-school crash.
Share with someone who needs the reminder.

09/03/2025