09/30/2022
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These are questions I sometimes ask clients and can apply to both pregnancy and birth.
If no one was here while you labored what would you be doing right now? If completely uninhibited how would you move, what would you do, how would you naturally manage?
Because any time we invite other people into an intimate space, really any time around other people at all, we change our behavior. They affect our thoughts, movement, words, confidence, and especially emotions. We can feel pressured to perform and make it happen or we can feel inhibited from doing what we would otherwise be doing.
If no one was around *and* you were uninhibited by fear or worry (important) would you dance, sway, squat, continue with your day, have a releasing cry, eat, p**p, take a bath, lay in bed with your husband, go for a walk, cocoon in your room?
Whatever it is, do that.
While a doula can provide helpful advice, techniques, and comfort when needed, I never want to replace a woman’s natural intuition and physiology. Her body knows better than I or any provider does how to get her baby out. Very often my role is to remind her of this and help her feel comfortable doing those things. There’s lots of ways I can make things go faster, but if a woman is doing just fine why do we feel the need to “improve” or rush it?
This same principle can also be applied before birth. If no one was telling me to be worried, would I be? Before that provider brought up a fear, was I completely at peace that all was just fine? If I wasn’t feeling pressure to perform this test or that screen or take that drug, would I choose to?
This isn’t to say suggestions and recommendations don’t sometimes have a place, of course.
It’s simply a reminder that God designed birth, the Spirit speaks to us through prayer and intuition, our bodies and those of our babies are incredibly intelligent, and the vast majority of women could birth their healthy babies with no interference or assistance at all. Lean into that be
