12/18/2024
The annual gift of shush....it's the gift that keeps on giving all year round, from generation to generation.
Little ears are listening. Little eyes are watching. If we are serious about interrupting the trans-generational impact of diet culture (which includes putting the brakes on appearance-related conversations) then let's start local. It's completely understandable that we greet people starting with their appearance - we mean well & this is how we've been socialised. AND we can't ignore that it sends strong messages to younger people about "how to greet people." Do we see younger kids doing it? Nope. And let's leave it like that as long as possible.
Take Action, do it differently
👉Let's start with ourselves. Notice the urge to comment - on yourself or others. Preferably, say nothing about appearance rather than doing mental gymnastics trying to figure out the "right" thing to say. "Hey, great to see you!" is a pretty reliable one.
👉Comments by others.
One question I am often asked if when others - especially extended family and ESPECIALLY families-in-law - comment on us, or our child's appearance. Comparisons are often the worst, particularly from sibling to sibling, or cousin to cousin (my clients tell me ALL THE TIME that this deeply impacted them as children so please try not to do this). If it's your in-laws, you might put your partner to work in having the conversation with their family? Asking people ahead of time stops those heart-in-the-mouth moments where we might find ourselves either been too syrupy-sweet or a little too harsh.
And as for food? Please can we just enjoy it, express gratitude and call it what it is (food) and make our own choices rather than labelling it. Someone/everyone at the table will thank you.
